“It was like electricity; we just both immediately liked each other,” Todd Babish said about his chance meeting with Stephen Facenda at an LGBT networking event in 1996.
The introduction by a mutual friend at a Greater Philadelphia Professional Network event led to a post-event meal, which their friend slyly backed out of.
“The person who introduced us saw that we were clicking, and the three of us were supposed to go to dinner after, but he kind of backed out and made an excuse on purpose, to give us time together,” Babish said.
That trick worked: The couple scheduled their first date for Oct. 1 at the now-defunct Astroplane and, this fall, 20 years to the day of that date, the couple will wed.
Facenda, 48, and Babish, 52, run Viamark Advertising and live in Wayne with their two Cavalier King Charles spaniels. The couple enjoys gardening and their home boasts a vegetable garden. They own a condo in Rehoboth Beach, Del., where they spend many summer weekends.
In their nearly 20 years as a couple, Facenda said they have learned to weather challenges through “open and honest communication. That’s really helped us the most.”
“We’ve argued of course, but we respect each other and respect our relationship enough not to take things too seriously,” he continued.
“We look at the big picture, not every small, minute problem,” added Babish. “You have to be serious when you need to and then have fun when you need to. You can’t take things too seriously.”
The couple has worn commitment rings since their first year together, which they exchanged in Hawaii, at the time the state was debating a gay-marriage law. Ten years later, they exchanged another set of rings for their anniversary.
While marriage equality was possible in several states at that time, they said they wanted to wait until it was allowed in Pennsylvania to take the legal step.
“When it became legal in Pennsylvania, Stephen noticed on the calendar that 2016 was a leap year and the Oct. 1 anniversary date fell on a Saturday, so things just fell into place,” Babish said.
The couple is planning a backyard wedding at their home followed by an off-site reception, with about 130 guests.
They said they want the focus to be more on the guests than on themselves.
“We both feel the same way: It’s more of a celebration of our friends and family, who have always thought of us as a married couple, regardless of whether the law was on the books or not,” Facenda said. “It’s a wedding but we want it to be more of a celebration of friends and family who have supported us over the years.”
“Weddings are often so focused on the groom and groom or bridge or groom or bride and bride, but we really want this to be a celebration of both us and everyone else,” Babish added. “We have speeches set up where we’re going to acknowledge all of the friends and family who are there and turn the spotlight around on them. They’ve stood by us for such a long time, so it’s just as much a celebration of them as it is of us.”