Are you a homophobe if you do not support marriage equality? Non-gays who at times have been allies keep asking me that question. Let me in turn ask them a question. Do you not support equal rights?
Because that really is the question. It’s about LGBT people having the same rights, obligations and privileges as non-gays. Simply put, you have that right. But, does the door at equality stop at marriage? Are you putting limits on equality?
The one holdout that I’ve often heard and I’ll use as an example: a friend who has been married three times and is “living in sin” with his girlfriend. He’s also not religious. But, he then turns around and uses that religion card.
“Two-thousand years of …” That is, I’m sorry to say, classic homophobia. What you’re saying to me is it’s OK for you to go against your religion, but you’ll have a different set of standards for me? That’s actually worse than different but equal. It’s hypocritical. Here’s another way to look at it, if you really want to use the Bible: Your sin is acceptable, mine not?
The reality is that some people are either so ingrained to the religious propaganda that they’ve been taught their entire lives or they have an uncomfortable feeling about marriage equality for LGBT people. That uncomfortable feeling is the epitome of homophobia.
You’re allowing your discomfort to stand in the way and block our equality. It’s similar with jobs, housing and public accommodations, all of which are about equality. But somehow you draw the line at marriage.
It’s hard for me to appreciate this since my allied friends believed in the end of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and many other roadblocks to equality. But, like racism, it might just boil down to that one simple word: comfort.
Saying that doesn’t mean that I’ll have any anger towards you, but rather I’ll look forward to the day you do feel comfortable — and I’m confident that day will come, and very soon. As I’ve often said, LGBT equality is all about education.