Everybody knows that air travel is nowhere near as fun or as carefree as it used to be. But we can dream, thanks to the hilarious Pam Ann, the glamorous and outrageous air-hostess alter-ego of Australian comedian and writer Caroline Reid, who gives us a hearty laugh at the state of the unfriendly skies.
Pam Ann takes the audience on a journey from check-in to security to boarding to landing, poking fun at international air travel with some of the biggest international airlines and stereotypes about flight attendants. Her show is at times not the most politically correct, mixing camp humor, shameless preening and slapstick.
Her unique brand of comedy has won her an impressive list of famous fans, including Madonna, Elton John — who hired her for his private jet — and Cher, who enlisted her as her opening act for a U.K. tour.
In the midst of an international tour that will see her performing in some of the world’s most prestigious and high-profile venues, Pam Ann is set to touch down in Philadelphia for a performance at the Trocadero Theater.
She found time during a recent global jaunt to answer some of our questions about her jet-set life and what it is like to be the funniest person at 36,000 feet.
PGN: Is there any fun to be had in air travel now, or are those days over? PA: Well, it depends where you are seated. If you’re up the back in bucket class, then it’s not so much fun, but if you’re in the pointy end being served Beluga caviar out of a conch shell, champagne poured into a glass champagne flute and sprinkled with rose petals like they do on Lufthansa’s “Service of Excellence,” then those days are here to stay!
PGN: Do you think the average person dresses too casually for air travel these days? PA: Ab-so-fuck-ing-lutely. I mean terry toweling jumpsuits and bare feet is not my idea of a seasoned traveler! People must make more of an effort after all. It’s fine dining at 41,000 feet!
PGN: What do you see more of at your performances, airline employees or gay men? PA: It depends where I am performing. Recently I did a gig in Frankfurt, Germany, and the audience was predominately airline crew from Lufthansa. The rest were from Air China, weirdly enough. However, if I am performing in Provincetown, the audience is all gay men! And if I am in New York City, it’s everyone and everything! But the gays after all did create Pam Ann, so they are my most loyal fans and I love them the most!
PGN: Do you ever get criticized for your humor being politically incorrect or too morbid? PA: Hell yeah, but isn’t that what makes great comedy? If I don’t offend someone, then I’m not doing my job and these days people are so easily offended it makes me howl with laughter! Get a life! Twenty-four people walked out of one of my shows once — maybe I said fisting one too many times — but to be fair, it was in this shithole called “Basingstoke,” which is famous for a roundabout. Personally, they should just blow the place up.
PGN: What is it about your performance that connects with people of all cultural and international backgrounds? PA: I guess because I tailor my show to every single place I go to and talk about them. People love to be talked about, especially when you take the piss out of their culture. I recently went to Poland and they just loved all my Polish references and talking about their airline LOT (of technical problems). Oh and who knew, but I am big in Serbia!
PGN: What’s it like to have international superstars like Cher and Madonna as fans? PA: Women like Cher and Madonna are idols to me. I love strong, opinionated, fearless women, so for them to be fans of mine inspires me to continue what I am doing. Don’t ever give up regardless of how many people try to stop you and put you down.
PGN: What do you recommend to pass the time on a really long flight? PA: Xanax and red wine.
PGN: Do you ever fly coach or is it always first class for you? PA: I fly coach on JetBlue. They are my all-time favorite airline in the USA. They have even more space seating and TVs in the backs of their seats. Flying first class domestically is a waste of money. I save first-class or business-class flights for long-haul flights or if someone is paying, then sure I’ll go first on a short-haul flight. The downside is that if cabin crew sees me up the back, they laugh at me and send down warm cookies from first class to rub it in.
PGN: What is your favorite airline and/or airport in which to travel? PA: My favorite airline is British Airways for long-haul flights. They are the most consistent airline in the world and offer an incredible on board experience, and the cabin crew are fierce! I never leave a BA flight empty-handed or unsatisfied. And I am not just saying that; I say it how it is!
PGN: Do you find Philadelphia’s airport as frustrating as we do? PA: To be honest, I haven’t traveled out of Philly before. I always have driven from New York. But I am sorry to hear that!
PGN: Is there an airline you never want to fly on ever again? PA: I never want to fly on easyJet, a low-cost airline in the U.K. For starters, it’s not cheaper than a scheduled airline in the end because they get you for every cost they can, from baggage to breathing. It’s orange and has a website down the side of the plane. The seats aren’t seats but just planks of wood to hold you up. They don’t have seatbelts, wheels or wings. They chuck the plane like a javelin. Never, never again.
Pam Ann performs 8 p.m. Nov. 14 at the Trocadero Theatre, 1003 Arch St. For more information, call 215-922-6888 or visit www.pamann.com.