All My Children Bianca (Eden Riegel) and Reese (Tamara Braun) are trying to move forward from Reese’s deception about her former fiancé, Simon. On Christmas Eve, Bianca presented Reese with a ginormous engagement ring, noting that they were both brides so they should both have rings. Bianca asked Reese to marry her and Reese said yes. Now if only the dynamic dyke duo can only keep the complications of Zach, Kendall and Reese’s father at bay … Monday-Friday, 1 p.m. on ABC.
As the World Turns Luke (Van Hansis) and Noah (Jake Silbermann) are trying to find their way back to each other, despite the problems of the past few months. Brian (Lawrence Lau) is still in the background — or foreground — depending on the day (or night). But Luke wants Noah and, with Maddy back in town, is reminded of Noah’s bisexual past. Right before Christmas, the two kiss — several times. (The kissing scenes are available on YouTube and worth watching over and over for their total realism.) They haven’t kissed since Luke rigged the election at Oakdale U and was expelled. Noah apparently hasn’t even looked at another man. But can he shake the thought that Luke and Brian have kissed? And that Luke has been drinking again? Monday-Friday, 2 p.m. on CBS.
Ellen We never tire of the dancing dyke diva of daytime. Be sure to check out Ellen’s commentary at ellen.warnerbros.com. Monday-Friday, 3 p.m. on NBC.
The Rachel Maddow Show Smart and savvy deconstruction from the only out lesbian to host a political talk show. Monday-Friday, 9 p.m. on MSNBC.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson Consistently queer friendly commentary and nightly drag routines from the Scottish comedian. Monday-Friday, 12:35 a.m. on CBS.
Worth Watching With the Screen Actors Guild preparing a strike vote, expect lots of strike-proof reality shows this season.
Friday
Laughing Matters: Gay Comedy in America Set the DVR for a behind-the-scenes look at some of America’s funniest gay-comedy veterans featuring stand-up comedy performances and interviews with Alec Mapa, Scott Kennedy, Bruce Vilanch, Andre Kelley, Bob Smith and Eddie Sarfaty. 12:30 p.m. on Logo.
Saturday
1408 This thriller based on the Stephen King story stars John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson and Mary McCormack. Cusack plays writer Mike Enslin, who debunks haunted houses. Although he’s been warned not to, he stakes out room 1408 in the Dolphin Hotel in New York. Terror ensues. Excellent scares. 8 p.m. on Showtime.
Game Show in My Head This reality show executive produced by “Punked” cutie-pie Ashton Kutcher and hosted by former “Fear Factor” host Joe Rogan premieres tonight in two half-hour episodes. Contestants are required to perform — what else — “embarrassing but hilarious” tasks for money. Each of the five tasks is worth $5,000 for the contestant, and in a no-holds-barred bonus round, they can double their money to $50,000. 8 p.m. on CBS.
Little Miss Sunshine Hilarious comedy/drama about a highly dysfunctional family going on a road trip when the family’s young daughter, Olive, is chosen to compete in a beauty pageant. The shoestring budget (the indie was made for only $8 million) does not compromise the superb acting of stars Greg Kinnear, Toni Collette, Steve Carell and Alan Arkin. Abigail Breslin is wonderful as Olive, the anti-Jon Benet Ramsay. Lots of laughs and a few tears as well. 9 p.m. on USA.
Saturday Night Live This repeat stars Beyoncé as the musical guest singing “If I Were a Boy” and “Single Ladies.” Comedian Paul Rudd hosts. Justin Timberlake appears in a cameo. 11:30 p.m. on NBC.
Sunday
This Week George Stephanopoulos and the gang debate the new Obama administration. 10:30 a.m. on ABC.
Big Love In advance of the polygamy series’ return on Jan. 18, the first six episodes of Season 2 run in succession. 7 p.m. on HBO.
Million Dollar Password Regis Philbin hosts this updated, super-fun version of the old Alan Ludden game show. Incredibly addictive. 8 p.m. on CBS.
Saturday Night Live Sports Extra Some of “SNL’s” best comedy sketches with a sports theme are compiled in this new showcase, in case the non-stop football from New Year’s hasn’t left your system yet. 8 p.m. on NBC.
Desperate Housewives Bree clashes with Alex’s mother for their sons’ affections. Nothing like a cat-fight between the mothers of two gay sons. 9 p.m. on ABC.
Superstars of Dance This new reality show features dancers from around the world competing. “Riverdance” king Michael Flatley hosts. Eight judges, eight countries, 32 performances. 9 p.m. on NBC.
24: Redemption Repeat of the two-hour movie lead-in to next week’s season premiere. Jack (Kiefer Sutherland) is in Africa where militia groups are recruiting children as warriors. 9 p.m. on FOX.
Brothers & Sisters Ever since Kevin discovered he was the biological father (read: sperm donor) of Tommy’s daughter Elizabeth, things have been strained between the brothers. Now Kevin is thinking that maybe he and Scotty could add Elizabeth to their nuclear family. Tensions reach a fever pitch. Meanwhile, Saul, the gay man with no partner, introduces his new one to Nora. 10 p.m. on ABC.
Tess of the d’Urbervilles Part one of the Masterpiece Theater version of the classic Thomas Hardy novel. Concludes next week. With Gemma Atherton (the newest Bond girl) as Tess and Eddie Redmayne as the smitten Angel. Superb. 9 p.m. on PBS.
Monday
Oprah The big O discusses how she gained 40 pounds (that’s all she’s admitting to) and is back tipping the scales at 200 pounds (that’s all she’s admitting to) as she launches her new season with Best Life Week. Oprah describes the five-part series of shows as “a multi-platform event designed to help viewers confront the issues in their own lives and make a commitment to wake up and unlock their own personal happiness in 2009.” Considering she made Barack Obama president, it should be worth watching. Monday through Friday this week, 4 p.m. on ABC.
Superstars of Dance The competition continues. 8 p.m. on NBC.
Bromance It was only a matter of time before TV got hip to the semi-sexual world of male bromance. In this series premiere, host Brody Jenner (“The Hills”) puts nine fine young dudes to the test of best buddy-dom. As unreal as it sounds. Mesmerizing. 9 p.m. on MTV.
Momma’s Boys What will Ryan Seacrest think of next? His latest reality show is bad-accident-viewing addictive. Three good-looking guys search for the girl of their dreams — with the help of their mothers, who are not at all happy with the choices their sons are making. Eliminations are done via text messages, not roses. Hard to believe these guys are straight. 10 p.m. on NBC.
True Beauty Produced by Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher, this reality series debuts with the premise that beauty is interior, not exterior. (Wow. This is the show that replaced “Boston Legal.”) Hotties turn to notties quite quickly as nasty pretty boys and girls find out they are being judged not on their self-proclaimed “10” looks, but on who they are. Not a pretty picture, but fun to see these folks get their tight asses kicked. 10 p.m. on ABC.
Tuesday
Biggest Loser The diet reality show premieres its new season with a two-hour opener and the heaviest man ever to be on the show — nearly 500 pounds. If Oprah can’t get you in shape, seeing how much weight these men and women take off is awe-inspiring. 8 p.m. on NBC.
Homeland Security USA Terrorism anyone? Premiere of the new reality series from executive producer Arnold Shapiro (”Big Brother”). Shot on location throughout the U.S., the series will focus on the efforts of border protection agencies to halt illegal smuggling and immigration. “Homeland” is billed as the first multi-episode television series to be shot in cooperation with the Department of Homeland Security, as well as several other government agencies. 8 p.m. on ABC.
Scrubs The popular Emmy-winning hospital sit-com was dumped by NBC. ABC has picked it up for its final shows, which begin airing tonight. 9 p.m. on ABC.
Law & Order: SVU “Stranger.” Mariska Hartigay stars as every lesbian’s favorite hard-assed detective. 10 p.m. on NBC.
Prime Time: What Would You Do? News/reality series features set-up situations in which ordinary people must decide what to do. Everything from seeming domestic violence to catching your best friend’s fiancé out with another woman. Serious news reporters interpret the results. 10 p.m. on ABC.
Wednesday
Top Chef With three queer chefs dubbed Team Rainbow. (Bravo even has a T-shirt with the logo.) No one got sent home on the “12 Days of Christmas” episode when Martha Stewart dropped by, but Christmas is over. 8 p.m. on Bravo.
Sordid Lives: The Series Guess who’s coming to Bubba’s? Bitsy addresses the hypocrisy in the church, and Peggy explains that she took Bitsy in because she was friends with her mother. Brother Boy is having trouble with Dr. Eve’s tests. Bumper is trying to find Latrelle to take advantage of her. No one has heard from Latrelle, so Sissy, Noleta and LaVonda go to find her. Queer hilarity ensues. 10:30 p.m. on Logo.
Thursday
Grey’s Anatomy Callie (Sara Ramirez) and Sloan work as a team to fight their respective attractions to Sadie (Melissa George) and Lexie. But Sadie and Lexie have other ideas. 9 p.m. on ABC.
30 Rock Everyone’s favorite comedienne returns with Tina Fey at the peak of her Q rating. Jenna is concerned when Liz becomes attracted to a new man. Jack tries to help Tracy and Angie Jordan organize a “post-nup” agreement and Jenna auditions for a Janis Joplin biographical film. Jack finds a new love in the form of Elisa, his mother’s nurse. 9:30 p.m. on NBC.
E.R. The show is in its final stages — season — and bringing in the big guns for the final send-off. “Separation Anxiety” stars Angela Basset and John Stamos tearing up the small screen. 10 p.m. on NBC.