The only thing better than singing is more singing. ~Ella Fitzgerald
I admit it — I’m one of those people who starts playing Christmas music on Thanksgiving. I love the sights and sounds of the holidays, and some of the most magical sounds of the season come from our own Philadelphia Gay Men’s Chorus (PGMC).
As one of the oldest gay men’s choruses in the U.S., the group has been breaking barriers and making music since 1981. It began with four men singing carols at gay bars around the city. Since then, the choir has performed at the Kimmel Center, sung the national anthem at Phillies games, and even taken the stage at Carnegie Hall.
This week, I spoke with PGMC board member and marketing director Luis Marrero to learn what inspires him to share the joy of music. Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.
Are you a Philly person?
I was born in Puerto Rico, but raised in Philadelphia.
How old were you when you came here?
Well…I’ve always thought I was about 3 when we moved here, but my mother recently retconned my history by telling me that I was actually just 1. [Laughing] So she just removed two years of what I thought was my experience! Not that I remember anything from that age, but still. I do remember going back later to visit family, probably when I was about 8 the first time. We’d go whenever they’d saved up enough money to go to see their own parents. My grandfather had what they called “Campo,” which was a house in the mountains. We were going to stay there until I saw the GIANT centipedes — so big they belonged in a jungle — and was like, “Uh, Mom, that’s a no.” A cool thing was that my grandfather was a deacon in the Catholic Church. It was special to go to church and see him up there doing the service and every summer when we’d go to visit, everyone remembered who we were. We were the grandchildren from “El Norte.”
Who is in your immediate family?
I have three half-siblings from my father’s previous marriage. His first wife died of cancer, and they’re considerably older. I’m 35 and the oldest is 57 and I have two older brothers, Jose and Jesus, who are full siblings. They’re the ones I grew up with mostly. I was lucky in that I was a quiet kid and both of my brothers were always good with me.
No sibling rivalries or pranks with three boys in the house?
Not really. Well, my one brother did get me with one thing. I LOVED the TV show,”Charmed.” I was obsessed with it and (spoilers) at the end of the third season, we lose Prue, but we don’t really know it until the next season. But my brother told me, “Oh, I saw the episode where she died. You missed it!” I was distraught that I’d missed an episode, especially one so pivotal. But guess what? There was no episode! [Laughing] He lied and I didn’t realize it until years later when I binge-watched the reruns!
Ha! What’s a warm family memory?
Christmas — just being with the family, decorating the tree, opening the presents and playing music so it would sound like a parranda. Do you know what that is?
Is it like Christmas caroling?
Yes, very similar, but with music that has our rhythms and everything. It would create an atmosphere for Christmas.
What types of activities were you involved in at school?
I started a service club in high school. It was affiliated with the Red Cross. We taught CPR and tried to do a few drives. It wasn’t a very successful club. [Laughing] I don’t think I had the right interested demographic for it, but I was proud of the fact that it was something that didn’t exist before and I helped create it. It was my first time trying to be a leader. Originally, I wanted to call it the “Save the World Club,” but my principal thought I should pick something “a little more achievable.” It’s a fond memory. I still have the T-shirt that my friend helped design.
Were you involved in chorus?
No, not until much later — after college. But my mom always had a lot of music in the house, so it was a big influence. It wasn’t until after college that I joined a local church choir.
What did you study in college?
I have a BA in biological sciences, and had a minor in business and another minor in public health.
What made you pick those? What did you want to be?
Originally, I wanted to be a doctor. [Laughing] I think I was influenced by “Grey’s Anatomy” and other medical shows. But really, I always found the sciences interesting. To be able to understand the natural world and our own bodies was something I enjoyed. But I soon realized that I was not well suited for that much of an intense science program, so I switched to arts and science, which required less science and let me focus more on the arts side and the business side.
And did you go into your current job right after college, or did you have something else first?
[Laughing] I started my current job when I was in high school! My boss was just joking recently, that they must not have had child labor laws back then. I joined the Department of Defense when I was a teenager. They had a community-outreach program and they recruited/employed myself and a friend. Because of our success, they hired three more students the next year and two of us still work there! I worked there all through college and post-grad.
What are people’s first reaction when you tell them you work for the D.O.D.? It sounds so sinister.
Exactly! They’re like, “OMG that sounds so interesting,” so I’ll joke, “I could tell you more, but I’d have to kill you.” They’re impressed until I give a more thorough description. I work in the acquisitions dept. I should start lying and say that I work for the FBI on a top-secret program or something. Make myself more mysterious!
I’ll back you! In the meantime, when did you come out?
I came out during the pandemic, rather late in life, but everyone has their own journey. I actually read that a lot of people came out in 2020. When you’re cooped up in the same space for a while, you tend to reflect and for me, it was like, “You know what? This is the real me.” And, [pulls a calendar out] we’re coming up to my fourth anniversary because I told my family at Thanksgiving.
How did that go?
We had dinner and somehow, I got the courage to tell my parents. Once my siblings and their wives and my nieces and nephews left, I decided to tell them. I had told some friends, so it wasn’t the first time I’d told someone, but it was the most significant. I was living at home so I went back downstairs and told my folks. Now my dad had had a few coquitos so he very leisurely said, [pretending to slur a little] “I don’t care, you can love whoever!” My mom’s response was… [laughing], I don’t know if I should… OK, I’m going to tell you because it was so hilarious. She just looked at me and said, “That’s gonna hurt.”
Oh my God, that is hysterical!
I know! I felt like, “You just read me! I mean it’s true, but excuse you!” So after spending some time talking with them, I went upstairs and told my brothers via text because, ya know, that’s our generation and I didn’t feel like having another big conversation. I just sent a message saying, “I just told mom and dad, blah, blah, blah” and I’ll never forget the response from my oldest brother Jose. He wrote something like, “I love you, for me this isn’t you changing, it’s you becoming and showing more of who you are.” He’s not a sentimental guy, but something in him needed to make sure I was OK. It was a home-run moment. He had me bawling and reading it again and crying for days after!
My other brother didn’t respond, but the next day, I asked him, “Did you get the text I sent last night?” and he said, “Yeah, I’m good” and that was it. And of course I was to find later that everybody knew already! Being me, they had ALL figured it out! It was like, “OK Luis, say what you need to say, but it’s not really a surprise.” And I had to come out to my dad again, because the next day I said, “So how do you feel about our conversation last night?” and he said, “I don’t remember, what did we talk about?” I was like, “Noooo! You’re making me do this again?” But it was fine the second time around too. I’m very lucky. Not everyone gets that kind of unconditional love from family.
I love that story. So how did you get involved in PGMC?
After coming out, I started making friends in the community. I wanted to get to know the culture and immerse myself in it. I hit the bar scene, especially karaoke nights. As I said, I love to sing, and had been with the St. Williams Hispanic Choir before I left the church. I wanted to meet people but didn’t know how and my friend John said, “You know there’s a gay chorus right?” I was like, “Hold up! What?!?” So in December of 2021, I auditioned with no expectation of making it. I’m very critical of my ability and talent, and I didn’t read the audition instructions so I came with a song prepared, not realizing that we were supposed to pick one of three songs from their list.
But I made it and have been with them ever since. It’s been great and it’s helped me to be able to express more of my queerness and to feel safe to explore my feminine side. I’ve been experimenting with makeup and colors, glitter, fun, hello! And I’m learning to walk in heels! I’m finding other sides to my personality and what makes me, me. And the chorus is a space that encourages it and makes it safe.
That must be affirming.
Yes, and even musically, I’m finding people who enjoy things that I do, like Disney and Tori Kelly and I’m learning to try new things. I’m not a Broadway gay, but now I’ll try going to a musical. Being part of PGMC has been life-changing.
That’s great. You have the Naughty or Nice concerts coming up. What can people expect?
Great music. We’ll be doing everything from Conrad Susa’s “Carols and Lullabies of the Southwest” to classics such as “O Come, All Ye Faithful” and “Dear Santa (Bring Me a Man This Christmas)” We’re also going to have our dancers who are always fan favorites. It’s our first main stage show with the new artistic director and conductor, Michael Semancik. He has a different approach and musicality. There’s a lot of layering and really amazing harmonies in the pieces. We’re learning to move our mouths differently to get certain sounds. It’s very exciting. He’s brought more choral and orchestral pieces to the program this year that are vocally challenging, but satisfying.
And you’re the one to get the word out. What’s your official title?
I am the marketing director and I have a great team of volunteers who help with graphics, program copy and marketing. I also have a team that works on imaging, or branding. It’s funny. I took a break from my social media because it was getting to be too much and what do I do? Turn around and volunteer to do social media for the chorus! But I want to help PGMC show the things that I see that are so beautiful, to show that as our mission states, we’re “A Chosen Family united by our love for music, dance, and service to the community.” And with the current political situation, we’re needed now more than ever. We go into schools and public places and represent the community. It lets any LGBTQ+ students see that there’s a future and a safe space out there for them.
Lovely. Do you ever forget the words when you’re singing?
Watermelon! It happens to everyone so if you forget the words you’re supposed to mouth the word “watermelon” again and again until you remember. It mimics what it looks like when you’re singing, and most people can’t tell that it’s off. But it can be scary. And not just the music — we do choreography, and since I’m short, I’m always in front. So if I make a mistake, it’s hard to miss!
I noticed the height difference in a picture with you and my friend, Cookie Diorio. Cookie was my neighbor for several years.
Oh! Cookie is the one who taught me about wearing heels and fashion! I love Cookie!
I saw your fur babies on your FB page too. When did you become a cat daddy and did you expect to fall so hard?
I got Apollo in 2021. He’s everything to me. He’s my baby. I’d never had a pet before except for fish and they don’t cuddle. I had just moved out to live on my own for the first time after being in a house with family my entire life. It was lonely until I got Apollo. I needed something living to be around me. I got Binx a year-and-a-half later and no, I didn’t know I’d fall that hard for them! I’m totally obsessed. I even have an Instagram account just for them.
What’s the strangest date you’ve ever been on?
Sadly, I haven’t been on too many dates. I guess that’s something I should work on!
Well, maybe someone will read this and chat you up! And finally, what’s your favorite word?
Yassss! As in, yasss queen!
For more information on the Philadelphia Gay Men’s Chorus and their upcoming events, visit pgmc.org.