As I sit here writing this week’s column, the election is still to come and hope is high. When you read this, the election will be over. No matter how things turned out, I’m sure many of us were ready to reach for a drink, whether it was in celebration or misery. Beyond that, the upcoming holiday season will be another occasion for us to clink crystal. For the many folks abstaining or choosing not to imbibe alcohol, it can be a trying time, but I’m happy to offer a fabulous alternative. This week’s Portrait, Kelly Brighter is the owner of Dirty Gertie’s N/A Cocktails. The business is based out of Mt. Airy and Brighter has a number of delicious non-alcoholic drinks for those looking for festive alternatives. Brighter holds pop-up experiences at different venues, markets and private events around the city. With tantalizing offerings like her charred red pepper and strawberry martini or the blueberry ginger snap, she’s guaranteed to make any spirits bright! Some responses in this conversation have been edited for length or clarity.
I love your last name, we could all use things a little brighter right now. Where are you originally from?
I’m from Philly. I grew up in the Olney section.
Were you an only child, or did you have siblings?
I have four brothers and sisters. I’m the middle child, and I grew up with my mom and dad.
What did they do?
My mom is a nurse. She just retired. And my dad is a truck driver.
And what did you want to be when you grew up?
I always wanted to do something with art. I actually wanted to be a cartoonist when I was younger. I was always very artistic, and loved to draw, and I loved to make things. When I got older, I wasn’t really interested in going to college. All my friends were going to college, and I was in this place where I didn’t really know what to do. I didn’t have a lot of support at home or people pushing me in the right direction at that time in my life, and I got into some troublesome things. I was drinking really heavily and was kind of all over the place. In truth, I was a mess at that time in my life, and it spiraled down from there.
It sounds rough.
Yes, during that time, everybody was going to college, and I continued to drink heavily until I graduated to drugs in my early 20s. I got addicted to heroin, and it was not a good situation. So it’s interesting when you ask, “What did you want to be when you grew up?” I think when I was much younger and wanted to draw, that’s the last time I think of when I still had such hopes.
Sounds like you’ve been through some stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
What was the catalyst that first started you down that path? Was it just that confusion of not knowing what to do when everybody else seemed like they had a plan or map for the future? That feeling of being lost?
Not really, it was more the environment that I grew up in. Two alcoholic parents, and no real guidance ever. It was a very chaotic household that I lived in.
How did your siblings respond to growing up in that environment? I think people often go down the same path, or completely the opposite direction, without too much in between.
Yeah, my oldest sibling, my sister, moved out very early on, started having kids at a young age, and lived a different life. And my other sister, my sibling under her, is kind of the opposite. She too has trauma from everything but would never pick up a drug. She would never get drunk or anything like that. My younger siblings have a completely different upbringing. My younger brother also is in recovery, and my father is also in recovery, so a lot has changed. We all have very different perspectives of that upbringing.
Good for your father. Do you think your journey inspired him a little bit?
Hmm, I don’t think I can really say that anything I did really swayed him one way or another. It just got to the point where everybody came together and we had an intervention with a professional interventionist for him. We literally dragged him to get help. But he came out on the other side, and he’s doing good so far.
What was the tipping point for you?
For me, I was doing heroin for about four years, and I think the whole time, there was a part of me that didn’t want to, I knew it wasn’t the life I wanted to live. Of course, no drug addict wants to live that life, but I really wanted to get help and I wanted to stop. I just didn’t know how. I didn’t know where to go or who to ask. I ended up getting caught stealing. There were cops involved and it was a mess, but it was a chance for me to come completely clean and admit to it. A chance to tell my parents and my family and say, “I really need help.” In my mind, I was kind of hoping for that moment. It was like, “Yes, I got caught, finally.” Otherwise, I didn’t know how I would have ever gotten out of it.
That cry for help.
Yes, so I ended up going to rehab. After rehab, I went to an inpatient program for 30 days, and then I lived in a sober living house for about two years, and I hated it. The most terrible thing was that it was so far away outside of Philly, but it was what I needed. I learned all the things I needed to stay sober. I learned about AA, and about being a responsible adult. I forced myself to stay there for that long, and then when I was ready to go back to Philly, I was able to find somewhere to live by myself, and do all the things that I should have been doing.
It seems to have worked. You’re now happily married with two kids and a budding business! How did Dirty Gertie’s come about?
So fast forward. I was 10 years sober already at that point. I do want to say I went through one small moment, probably the year before, at about nine years sober, when I tried non-alcoholic wine for the first time. I found I had to check myself after drinking it, because I was starting to drink the non-alcoholic wine alcoholically. And I had to stop and question my motives.
I was like, “OK, I don’t need to drink this.” It wasn’t relaxing. It wasn’t a nice little treat or anything. Instead, it was making the wheels turn in my head. So I stopped.
A year later, I went to California to visit my brother, who had moved there to get sober. We were in a restaurant, and I ordered a non-alcoholic margarita. At that point, I did feel like I was in a better place. I had never had a non-alcoholic cocktail and I assumed it would be like a lemonade drink. When it came and it tasted like tequila, I was shocked, and I had to double check to make sure there was not any alcohol in it. There wasn’t. It was a tequila alternative that was zero proof.
It wasn’t triggering or anything. It was strictly “that’s really great that they have progressed to this” and I had a lightbulb moment. For a long time, the only option for the most part was non-alcoholic beer or wine. This was much more interesting and didn’t have the same effect on me as the wine did previously.
I got home and the more I talked about it, I was surprised to see how many people were interested in a drink without the alcohol for a variety of reasons. One neighbor told me that she stopped drinking because she was just living healthier and being more conscious of what she was putting in her body. Another neighbor told me that she was allergic to alcohol. It made her break out in hives, and she would love an alternative to it. And there were so many other people with different stories that I thought there’s really a need for this, including for me.
When I go to places where there’s alcohol, there’s usually no other option, unless it’s a soda or water or seltzer. And that’s how it came about. It’s happening in real time, and there are so many different products coming out now. I could really do some interesting things. And so Dirty Gertie’s came about. It just seemed like this was the time for it.
For sure, and in addition to the pop-up bartending, you also have gift packages that people can buy.
Yes, so mainly, if you were to hire me for a private event, I’m making a cocktail menu for you, just coming up with different cocktail recipes and/or bringing beer and wine, if that’s what you prefer. For the holidays, I have been making gift boxes that come with bottles of Seedlip with different mixers and different glasses in the kit, or wine options with different bottles of wine and a glass and different garnishes.
What is Seedlip?
It is one of the zero-proof spirits. It’s great because it’s not trying to mock a liquor. It’s kind of its own botanical spirit, and they have different flavors.
I remember buying a non-alcoholic wine for a friend of mine when she was pregnant. It seemed like a lot of the non-alcoholic wines weren’t completely non-alcoholic.
I have done my research on that, so if there is a 0.5% alcohol count, it is the same amount of alcohol that would be in a banana or other fruits that naturally have alcohol in the sugar. So it’s impossible to feel the alcohol that low with that low of a content, but I tell people it’s whatever their preference is if they’re concerned.
Going back, ever play any sports?
I played softball for a short time but I had no idea what I was doing.
What’s a good memory with the family?
I always loved being the house that people came to for holidays, specifically Christmas, and I think that I have so much of that in me still. I love hosting. I love feeding people. I love making people feel like they’re at home, and making them feel comfortable in my house. I think Dirty Gertie’s lets me do that too. When I’m hosting different events or tastings, or bringing that service to you, I want to curate it to your every need. To help your vision come to life.
I understand the name “Dirty Gertie” is something you got at your previous job.
[Laughing] Yeah, I do this old ladies voice and would use it to randomly blurt out profanities. People started calling me Gertie when I’d do the voice, and it kind of just stuck.
How do you come up with the different drinks and what are some fun ones?
I like to think about what’s in season — different fruits and flavors, like pumpkin, cranberry and all that stuff right now. During the summer, I was growing my own herbs for drinks and making my own simple syrups. That’s been fun. I just come up with different recipes and try them out, and then I make my wife try them all.
Lucky wifey! What are some other interesting combinations that you’ve come up with?
Lately, I’ve been doing a margarita with pear and cinnamon and tequila, and that’s nice. My signature drink, the Dirty Gertie, is fresh grapefruit juice, ginger Seltzer and grapefruit basil amethyst, which is another botanical spirit with a really nice taste.
Tell me a little bit about coming out.
Wow, I haven’t thought about that one a lot. I guess early signs were all the crushes that I had, from childhood all the way up to high school until I finally acted on one of my crushes, and it was like, of course, this makes sense. Now I’m married, and we have two kids together.
When did you get hitched and who did you marry?
My wife’s name is Nakkia. She works for Prudential.
Have you ever faced discrimination for being LGBT?
Some of the family members took a bit to come around. A few even refused to come to our wedding but we actually dealt with it most when trying to find a daycare for our children. One daycare actually sat us down and told us they would change the wording in the handbook to prevent our son from going there.
Woah.
Yeah, and because they’re a private entity. It’s totally legal for them to do that. Wild!
Shameful. What’s the silliest or hardest thing your kids have asked you?
A fun conversation of course was answering questions about how two women can have babies, which lead to talks about sperm donors, etc. Though I have to say it was not as hard as I thought it would be.
Good to hear. All right, let’s do some totally random questions now. What song can always get you on the dance floor?
I want to say any kind of soul or funk, like James Brown or folks from that era.
If you could make it a cameo appearance in any genre of movie, what would it be?
Horror films. I love horror.
Window or aisle seat?
Window seat.
What are you currently binge watching?
I’m rewatching “Shameless” for the 100th time.
Before we wrap, we should give a shout out to Elicia Gonzales who suggested I talk to you.
I love Elicia! She’s married to Megan, who grew up around the corner from me. I’ve known her since first grade, and I consider her family. And Elicia is my son’s godmother, so yeah, they’re family to us.
Cool. Where can people find you?
The next event I am doing is a Holiday Market at Rutabaga Toy library in Roxboro on Nov. 30. It’s going to be a fun event, because it’s going to be local moms who are welcomed to have tables for whatever they’d like to sell. So that’s cool. They’re trying to encourage people to buy Christmas gifts secondhand and support your local moms. Of course, I’m available to do pop-up bars for people for private events, corporate events, street fairs — you name it. And it’s full-service. Everything’s included.
Cheers to that!
Dirty Gertie’s N/A Cocktails on Instagram at @dirtygerties_.