Déjà vu

Left photo: Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton speaking with supporters at a town hall meeting at Hillside Middle School in Manchester, New Hampshire. (Photo: Gage Skidmore)/Right photo: Vice President Kamala Harris speaks at the Philadelphia Museum of Art during her final campaign rally on Nov. 4. (Photo: Kelly Burkhardt)

The day after the 2016 presidential election, PGN Editor Jen Colletta wrote an editorial with the headline “What the fuck.” The day after the 2024 presidential election, I am in the editor’s chair and it maddens me that I can write the exact same headline. Hell, I could paste the exact same editorial and just make some changes, such as replacing “Hillary Clinton” with “Kamala Harris.”

Back in 2016, it was clear that a significant portion of our country was racist, sexist, homophobic and transphobic. After four years under Donald Trump’s administration, it would have been great if our country noticed the harm he inflicted marginalized communities. And on paper, voters did recognize this. However, while Joe Biden won in 2020, there were still more than 74 million people who voted for Trump as opposed to Biden’s more than 81 million. As of this writing, the margin between Harris and Trump is even slimmer, with about 67 million and 72 million votes respectively. The race should not have been that close then and it definitely should not be that close now.

With these numbers in mind, Trump’s win stings even more than it did in 2016. Bigotry won. Again. 

There’s dozens of reasons for us to be scared. The Supreme Court could be packed with MAGA extremists. Protections could be repealed for LGBTQ+ people. Abortion access could be limited. January 6 insurrectionists could be pardoned. Book bans could be expanded.

Chances are you’re probably already aware of all these things and you don’t need a reminder. Some people may use this devastating loss to fuel their activism. And that’s great. However, there are others — myself included — who feel that the sadness, anger and fear is too palpable to do anything productive right now. 

Today, on Nov. 6, 2024, it is OK to grieve.

It is OK to scream.

It is OK to cry.

Getting through today has been difficult as I try to push back tears so I can finish out the workday. And I imagine this is even harder for millions of others who don’t work for LGBTQ+ publications, where your co-workers and employees are graciously holding space for you. Try to get some rest when you get home. Call up some like-minded loved ones and hold space for each other. Watch a comfort show. Eat a meal that makes you happy.

I know what I’m doing after PGN goes to press. I’m going to finish packing for my four-day weekend getaway to Las Vegas (which I must note was coincidentally scheduled at the best possible time). I am going to spend that time with amazing friends, whom I know will share in my commiseration. But I also plan to spend a lot of time smiling. That is the most radical act I can muster at the moment.

After this weekend, once I’m done debriefing with loved ones and have no tears left to cry, I plan to put my energy into fighting back against the bigotry that we are sure to experience in the coming days, weeks, months and years.

We’ll all get through this together. 

But for now, it’s OK to wallow and acknowledge that this sucks.

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