Sending our kids off to school always brings a certain amount of trepidation. Will they learn? Make friends? Grow emotionally? For LGBTQ+ parents, our concerns are also often tied up with how welcoming our schools and communities are to LGBTQ+ families and individuals. You’re not alone, though, and the number of school-related resources to support our families keeps growing. Here are a few that everyone should know, either to educate themselves or to share with teachers, administrators and others.
• Welcoming Schools: This project of the HRC Foundation uses an intersectional, anti-racist lens to provide LGBTQ+ and gender-inclusive professional development training, lesson plans, book lists, anti-bullying resources, and more. The program has its roots in volunteer work done by Greater Boston PFLAG and GLSEN Boston back in 2004, and remains the best first place for LGBTQ+ parents to educate themselves and to refer to their children’s teachers, particularly (but not exclusively) in the elementary grades.
• GLSEN: Founded by a group of teachers in 1990, GLSEN offers original research and resources for teachers and students (much of which can also be helpful to parents), and engages in advocacy on their behalf at the national level and through a network of 43 chapters in 30 states. Resources include the “Ready, Set, Respect! Elementary Toolkit” with lesson plans on name-calling, bullying and bias, family diversity, gender roles, and more. And its “Changing the Game” resources can help ensure physical education classes and sports are LGBTQ+ affirming. Notable GLSEN research includes its 2023 report on “Experiences of Students with LGBTQ+ Families in K-12 Schools,” and its biannual “National School Climate Survey” of LGBTQIA+ youth. The organization also runs leadership programs for LGBTQIA+ youth and supports a variety of student-led movements.
• Family Equality: The resources from Family Equality, the national organization for LGBTQ+ families, include toolkits and factsheets on topics like creating LGBTQ-friendly classrooms, how LGBTQ+ parents can support their youth in school, taking action against anti-LGBTQ+ state actions such as book bans and “Don’t Say Gay/LGBTQ” laws, and more. They even have an email template to get you started on advocating with your child’s school. Visit their Resources page and filter by “Schools.”
• Teach All Families: This project from Clark University Professor Abbie Goldberg, a leading scholar of LGBTQ+ families, draws on her extensive research to provide evidence-driven tips for teachers, school administrators and LGBTQ+ parents. Topics covered include finding an LGBTQ-friendly daycare or preschool, advocating for your family, creating LGBTQ-inclusive school environments and curricula and ones that welcome adopted students and those in foster care, responding to anti-LGBTQ+ comments in the classroom, and more.
• COLAGE: The toolkit from COLAGE, the national organization for people with LGBTQ+ parents, offers suggestions for ways students with LGBTQ+ parents can respond to common questions or assumptions about their families, plus an email template to help students write to their teachers, explaining their family structure (and whether they want this revealed to the class), advocating for representation in the curriculum and on permission slips, and (if relevant), alerting the teacher to LGBTQ-phobic jokes or marginalizing language.
• Safe Schools for All: This site focuses on student rights and what to do if a student experiences bullying, harassment or discrimination. It explains how Title IX, a federal civil rights law, protects all students, and how people can file a complaint with the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights if they feel their rights (or those of their child or student) have been violated. The site is a project of PFLAG, GLSEN, the National Center for Lesbian Rights, GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders (GLAD), and other members of the Safe Schools for All Coalition.
• Unite Against Book Bans: While several of the above resources also include information about book bans, Unite Against Book Bans is the best single-focus site on the subject, with data, toolkits, news, and ways of reporting censorship. It also includes book résumés of challenged and banned books, with links to news about how bans of that specific title have been handled. The site is a project of the American Library Association in partnership with publishers, LGBTQ+ organizations, civil rights organizations, and others.
• Parenting with Pride: This project from a number of leading LGBTQ+, family, and educational organizations has gathered resources aimed at helping parents in Florida “create communities where every LGBTQ+ child feels safe, affirmed, and loved.” It draws on some of the resources above, plus additional ones; parents of LGBTQ+ youth in other states, as well as LGBTQ+ parents, may find it a useful portal as well (except for a few items specific to Florida’s laws).
The above sites are only the tip of the iceberg. Please visit mombian.com for my full 2024 list of LGBTQ Back-to-School Resources.
Know, too, that you also have resources in the decades of LGBTQ+ parents who have gone before and encountered many of the challenges and questions you may be experiencing. If you don’t know any other LGBTQ+ families near you, try searching Facebook for “queer parents” or “LGBTQ parents” and you’ll find a number of online groups offering community and support. Trust also that you have given your kids tools for resilience that will help them find their way even when you are not present. Lean into the joy and the possibilities. You’ve got this.
