A new report on the number and characteristics of LGBTQ parents is a reminder that common perceptions of LGBTQ families may not always match the realities, and that despite progress, there is still room for improvement to make sure we are treated equitably.
The July report from UCLA’s Williams Institute, “LGBTQ Parenting in the US,” by Bianca D.M. Wilson and Lauren J.A. Bouton, analyzed multiple national datasets and found that overall, 18% of all LGBTQ adults, nearly 2.6 million people, are parents of minors. This is slightly lower than previous estimates, which the researchers say is because earlier studies sometimes counted adult siblings, grandparents, or unrelated adults in a household as parents. (Future research, they note, should explore all of these household relationships.) In addition to LGBTQ parents with minor children, 32% of LGBTQ adults report ever having a child (who may now be grown or living elsewhere).
Looking just at LGBTQ parents of minors, however, the study found that the vast majority (61%) are cisgender bisexual women, followed by cisgender lesbian women (14%), cisgender bisexual men (11%), cisgender gay men (5%), trans men (4%), trans women (2%), and trans, gender nonconforming people (2%). (I am rounding for ease of reading.)
Not only do bisexual parents form the largest subcategory, but the majority (53%) of partnered LGBTQ parents are partnered with a different gender, cisgender person, versus 47% partnered with same-gender, cisgender people or with transgender or nonbinary people. Heather may have two mommies and penguin Tango two dads in the famed picture books, but they are only part of the picture.
Single LGBTQ parents, too, are more common than one might think. Of the 2.6 million LGBTQ parents, approximately 1.6 million are married or partnered, but 1 million are single.
Looking from the children’s perspective, 5 million children are being raised by an LGBTQ parent, but only about 300,000 are being raised by parents in same-sex couples. Two million children live in LGBTQ single-parent households, “the majority among bisexual women.” The rest, we must presume, are in households with different-sex parents or other structures.
Other findings are that a higher percentage of Black LGBTQ adults are parents than white LGBTQ adults, and that the highest percentage of LGBTQ parents live in the South (31%), followed by the Midwest (26%), Northeast (24%), and West (19%). LGBTQ parents are also more likely to be living in poverty than LGBTQ non-parents and straight cisgender parents. Finally, same-sex couples adopt, foster and have stepchildren at significantly higher rates than different-sex couples.
These trends all generally confirm older studies (while bringing greater accuracy and recency to the numbers), but to my mind, are still not always reflected in the media or popular culture, where white, financially secure, same-sex couples predominate. Granted, different configurations of LGBTQ families may move through the world differently, in terms of family formation options, the stigma they experience, and more. We must be thoughtful about those differences and recognize that some families will need more support. But we are all part of the same big rainbow tent, and all of our kids need to see their families affirmed and represented.
That’s especially important because the number of LGBTQ parents and our children is likely to grow. The report also found that about half of LGBQ adults said it was somewhat or very important to have children in the future, and 22% of LGBQ adults thought it was very or extremely likely that they would do so.
At the same time, many LGBTQ people who want to have children “fear they will not be able to,” especially “GBQ cisgender men and transgender women across sexual orientations.” As I see it, this is why LGBTQ family-building resources like Gays With Kids’ GWK Academy, PregnantTogether, Trans Fertility Co., and the offerings from Family Equality are so important.
Notably, too, the report found that “About 30% of LGBQ parents are not legally recognized or are unsure about their legal status as the parent/guardian of at least one child.” As LGBTQ legal experts have long advised, non-gestational and non-genetic parents, even if they are married and on their children’s birth certificates, should take extra steps to secure their parentage.
The ease of doing so varies by state, however. Some states, including Colorado, Connecticut, Maine, Michigan, New Hampshire, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington, and just this month, Massachusetts, have modernized their parentage laws to equitably protect all parent-child relationships, regardless of how the families formed or the gender or marital status of the parents. Updating parentage laws in other states should be an urgent task for LGBTQ, child welfare, and reproductive rights advocates, benefiting both LGBTQ families and others. The Pennsylvania Legislature is currently considering a bill (HB 350) to do so.
More broadly, as lead author Wilson observed in a statement, “Policies that aim to improve the lives of LGBTQ communities should focus on issues LGBTQ parents face, including barriers to accessing alternative reproductive technologies and adoption services as well as LGBTQ parental recognition rights, particularly for non-biological parents in same-sex couples.”
With both national and state elections looming, the likelihood of advancing those policies remains an open question. But studies like this help give us a sense of how many children and families are at stake.
