Aneeya Hughes: Making a difference

I recently had a chance to speak at a program in remembrance of LGBTQ+ icon Michael Hinson. It was also a kickoff for the new Michael Hinson Justice Institute named in his honor. There were a number of interesting and inspiring people in the room, including several former Portraits. One of them was Sappho Fulton, who has been a social justice advocate for years and currently serves as the working executive director of Womxn Beyond Borders and runs SAPPHOSWAY, which provides mental health and harm reduction services. She introduced me to this week’s Portrait, Aneeya Hughes. Hughes is new to the Philadelphia area and her enthusiasm, ready laugh and bright smile was a welcome relief on an overcast day. I spoke to Hughes about her journey and how she ended up here in our fair city. 

Where do you hail from?
I’m from Jackson, Michigan. 

Huh, I’ve heard of Jackson, Mississippi, but never Michigan. Tell me about it.
Well, as you enter the city limits, there’s a sign that says, “Birthplace of the Republican Party” and the city was named after President Andrew Jackson. 

I guess at one point, the Republican party was somewhat of a good thing — not so much anymore.
Right? So it was a really small town, and I was born there but I was raised in Oregon, also in a small little town. I remember the first time we drove there, I saw tumbleweeds rolling down the street! I was like, “OK, now this is really small town life!” 

Ha! I know the feeling. I’m originally from North Jersey and both of my parents are New Yorkers. When I heard we were moving to Pennsylvania, the only thing I knew about it was that Amish people lived here. I remember thinking, “I refuse to wear one of those bonnets!” Fortunately, we just moved to the Philly suburbs, but even so, there were no sidewalks in front of our house so I thought we actually were in the country at first!
I can understand that!

How old were you when you moved?
I was about 4 when we moved to Oregon. 

How big was the family?
Pretty big. On my dad’s side, I’m the first born of about six and on my mom’s side, there are only four of us but the extended family is very, very big. My dad is Italian and Greek among other things — well, mostly Italian but we don’t talk to them as much. I have a ton of cousins. They’re funny and I love them all. 

Who’s the funniest?
My Uncle Tommy. He’s the funniest to me. And I’d say my mother. She’s very reactive and quick. 

Can you think of something that she said that made you crack up?
It was usually one of her prison stories. One time, she told me about this woman who was in prison with her who had a glass eyeball and the time it fell out and rolled across the floor! I guess she didn’t know about it because she was so shocked when it happened. She’d talk to me on the phone and tell me these stories and it would just tickle me. As she told me the story, I could just picture her facial expressions watching an eyeball rolling across the floor! 

So your mom was incarcerated for a time.
Yeah! And my dad was in prison until I was about four. Then, when he was released, he got me and then my mom was in prison until I was about 11. It was a really long time but I would talk to her on the phone all the time. Well, up until my dad cut off contact [laughing]. He was like, “I don’t know that you should spend all your time talking to your mom in jail!” I think he thought it was the best thing to move on. 

And those phone calls from prison are expensive! My brother was locked up for a bit and it’s a scam because the prisons only allow people to go through one carrier and they charge about 40 cents a minute. That can add up fast.
Yeah, but I loved talking to her and hearing all the funny stories. Her cell mate was my favorite person and she’d get on the phone and tell me funny stories too. She was super cool. She had cancer and passed away but I want to find her grave and visit it one day. I asked my mom about it, but she doesn’t like to talk about that time now that she’s out of it. 

Let’s talk about you. What were you like as a kid?
Um, talkative — very very chatty — um, I’d say funny, explorative, [laughing]. I want to say smart but I don’t know about that — well, when I applied myself, yes. If not, forget it. 

What did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to do something to help people, either nursing or psychiatry, some kind of profession where I could help someone. That’s what I always wanted to do. I just didn’t know how to go about it. But I wanted to do something that would benefit more than just me. I loved the idea of that. I didn’t know if it would ever come to fruition but I loved the idea, you know what I mean? 

So were you the one that everyone in the family went to for everything?
Actually, yes, mostly financially, something would come up and my mother was like, “Call Aneeya.” [Laughing] I had to put a stop to it because it got to be too much to keep taking those calls. I’m not rich by any means! 

Well, when you’re the one who’s open to helping, people come to you for advice. They come to you for help — all sorts of things.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, [laughing] and sometimes they don’t want to hear it so you have to try to tailor your words gently and softly to get through to them! 

What brought you east?
It was my religion. I’m currently living in New Jersey. I moved here. I’m a member of the A.T.R., African Traditional Religions, which I became part of because they have the same values like good character and kindness that I cherish. I like being a part of that and people who are also working on themselves, which I find inspiring. At home in Michigan, I didn’t find too many people who were inspiring. 

So you moved back to Michigan after Oregon?
Yes. At about age 15, I moved back to Michigan and lived there until I was 30. I’m 31 now.

[At this point, the face of a little one comes into frame to say hi]

So sorry about that! 

No worries. I had my 4-year-old nephew here last week and he kept interrupting my Zoom calls to try to talk to everyone!
Oh my gosh, that’s how old she is and she’s like that too. She said, “I’ll be quiet! I promise, I’ll be quiet!” and I was like, “No, just give me a second to talk to Miss Suzi.” But it’s sweet. The kids love me and I love the kids.

Me too. So you said you moved to NJ to be with like-minded people who practiced the same faith. Tell me more about it.
A.T.R. — African Traditional Religions. It’s a religion that was practiced throughout Africa before the arrival of the Western missionaries. The core premise of ATR is the maintenance of African culture and a connection with and respect for the ancestors. I practice Ifá which comes from the Yoruba people. 

How did you get involved in the project that has brought you to Philadelphia?
Oh my gosh. I was in Nigeria with our mutual friend, Sappho Fulton, and she talked a lot about the projects she was working on. I told her that I used to sit in my car and pray and cry that I could find a way to be in a position to help people. I knew that it was something I always wanted to do but I didn’t know how to get to that point, how to use my voice or how to get started. My mom ran a nonprofit at home, which really inspired me too. Being part of the same religion, we were spiritual sisters and she told me that she thought I’d make a really good program manager for the Womxn Beyond Borders program. She doesn’t know this but I cried. I was so happy. I’d been praying for an opportunity like this for many years; to have a chance to help people like me, folks from the trans and nonbinary community. I know how difficult it can be and I wanted to help so badly.

Tell me a little about your journey?
[Laughing] It had some interesting moments; a lot of ups and downs. But I always had someone ferocious in my corner: my mom, a teacher… There was always someone who had my back. So I’m not going to say I had the worst time of it, but it was interesting! 

With a lot of trans people I know, you often come out in stages. What was your experience like?
I never ever said that I was gay. I just pretty much came out as I am now. Actually, it was an older woman who said it when I was about 15. She was being mean and said, “You’re just a T-R-A-N-N-Y!” I didn’t even know what it meant! [Laughing] I looked it up and said, “Oh, she’s right!” And that’s how it fell into my lap and then I went to a psychiatrist — a few of them actually — because it was a pretty big step for me to try to figure out who I was at such a young age. 

What made her react like that?
I would dress very feminine. We didn’t have money so I used to steal clothes. Children, that’s bad and I don’t recommend it. But I just always naturally identified with the opposite gender. So I started with a little mascara, then some nail polish, and from there it just evolved. I just wanted to look good! 

I know that’s right. So the teacher who helped you: What did they do?
Oh my gosh, she was one of my first supporters! I could cry just thinking about it. She’d bring me big suitcases of clothes to go through so that I’d have things to wear. She would go out of her way for little old me. I still call her all the time. She was always in my corner and I was so grateful to have her. 

Unfortunately these days, a teacher would probably be arrested for doing that in some parts.
I know. It’s crazy. Don’t take away that light, those people who help others. People need those earth angels to help them keep going until they’re able to help themselves. 

Speaking of angels, tell me more about Womxn Beyond Borders.
Womxn Beyond Borders aims to promote racial equity for Black and Brown LGB/TGNC+ communities, who often face limited resource access and oppressive conditions. As advocates for equity and justice, we aim to counter these negative outcomes by implementing non-traditional mental health and wellness resources. In addition, we are working to open a reentry house for Transwomxn and Gender nonconforming folx coming out of prison. We currently run a program in the county prison and we are starting a new project for reentry support with GALAEI in March. We are hopeful that we’ll be able to offer mental health and substance abuse help; also life skills development, wellness, gender-affirming care referrals and workforce development. But we’re going to need a lot of financial support as this is a new project! I was inspired at the Michael Hinson event to take some classes at the Justice Institute as soon as I can! 

What do you like to do when you’re not trying to save the world?
I like to play video games. I like hanging out with the children. I have a lot of my Godmother’s kids around as well as nieces and nephews and I love to see their little personalities interact with each other. I like to socialize, doing anything where I can meet someone new. I like shopping, going out to get some perfume, makeup or lip gloss! And playing with my dog, Tyson. He’s a little Shih Tzu!

Favorite thing to do on a sunny day?
I like to walk, preferably near some kind of water, a river or ocean, something where you can hear the water moving and smell the fresh air. 

What sport would you like to be a pro at?
I’ve always been fascinated with ice skating. It just seems so glamorous — the twirling and the costumes, the showmanship of it all. I love it. 

I just watched our girl Amber Glenn with the National Championship. She’s the first openly queer female skater in history and she’s probably going to represent us at the Olympics!
That is ICONIC! After all these years, we’re still making strides. That’s amazing! I love it! 

What traits do you think you got from your parents?
From my mother: That giving spirit of always wanting to help people, [laughing] and her looks! From my father? After everything is done, I need to go in my room and close the door. Do a good job, your due diligence and then go to your cave. I need that alone time so I can give you my best version of myself. 

That’s me, the extroverted introvert. I can be very social, but I enjoy being alone. I’ll take myself to dinner or an event and be fine.
Me too! I think they call it an ambivert. I go on dates by myself and I always find it interesting. I’ll strike up a conversation with the owner or the chef and learn what their life is like, or I’ll banter with someone new at an event and I love that. I feel that only happens if I’m by myself. If you have someone there, you don’t make those connections with other people. 

What’s the first queer movie you ever saw?
I think it was “Brokeback Mountain”! I wasn’t supposed to see it. I wasn’t allowed to watch much TV at all growing up but my stepmom was watching it and I was peeking in the room to see it. 

What was your first car?
It was a maroon 1998 Taurus, which I bought from my brother for $800 and it was in incredible condition. I’m a Taurus, so that made it extra special. I loved it. 

I’m a Taurus too. I knew I liked something about you! Most of my friends and several of my exes are bulls too.
Earth sign! I love that. We’re real, down to earth. 

A celebrity (no longer alive) that you’d want to meet.
Dorothy Dandridge, my favorite. I looooooved her and I loooooved Marilyn Monroe. I would love to have seen both of them. 

If you get a chance, look up Marilyn Monroe and Ella Fitzgerald.
I know that story! About how Marilyn forced the owners of a nightclub to let Ella play there by saying that she would sit in the front every single night that she sang and bring other celebrities to ensure a crowd. 

Yup, the Mocambo, and as soon as people heard Ella sing, the club got sold out even without Marilyn there. They stayed friends for life.
And Marilyn said Dorothy was an inspiration. I love that they all were friends.

Let’s wrap up with a favorite saying…
My grandmother used to say, “Stay ready so that you don’t have to get ready.” She’d call me on random days to get ice cream, and I’d be “Grandmom, I’m not ready!” I was just coming into my 15-year-old trans self and I wanted to get my look together but she’d say, “Oh, you’re not dressed. OK, forget it. You need to stay ready so that you don’t have to get ready.” It still makes me laugh, but it’s true!

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