Not long ago when the weather was still holding the comfort of summer, I was hanging out on the deck at the John C. Anderson Apartments — a local LGBTQ+ senior housing community — with one of the residents who had a whole gaggle of friends and family enjoying the night air and the view from the deck. They were mostly younger women, and we talked about a myriad of subjects facing the LGBTQ+ community and life in general.
There was one person in the group who seemed especially interested in the LGBTQ+ community and working to help solve some of the issues facing us, especially in the BIPOC community. We exchanged info and I told her to get in touch if she had anything we could feature. Luckily for me, it wasn’t long before she called to tell me about her work at COLOURS Organization and an inspiring program that they will be hosting this weekend. At 6 p.m. on Friday, Oct. 20, there will be a meet and greet at the COLOURS office with Adam Castillejo otherwise known as “The London Patient.” Castillejo is the second person in the world to be fully cured of HIV and he has become an advocate for hope. I took a minute to learn more about my deck mate, Jaulie “Joy” Cantave, and the great things that are being done at the organization.
Let’s start with the simple stuff, where are you from?
I was born and raised in Southwest Philadelphia. February 2000!
2000? Oh my goodness, you’re a baby!
I know. I’m only 23.
Yikes! This column is only slightly younger than you.
Wow. That’s amazing. After we first met on my Aunt Regina’s deck over at John C. Anderson, I looked up your column in the PGN and it was so cool that you’ve been doing this for such a long time. I’ve been reading the paper from time to time and it’s amazing to see history unfold in your column.
It’s been fun for sure. I’ve been able to meet some great people, and have some amazing adventures over the years. But back to you! So a February birthday, what sign does that make you?
I’m an Aquarius!
Tell me a little about the family.
I have three older siblings and a younger brother, three half brothers and a stepsister. I’m the only kid from my mom and my dad.
What’s a fun family memory or holiday tradition growing up?
Oooh! I think I’ll go with holiday tradition. We used to spend Christmas at my paternal grandma’s house. I have five aunties, so my Aunt Regina would be there [with] a lot of cousins and nieces and nephews. It was nice to have Christmas dinner there every year and eat amazing Haitian food, dance, and sing and open lots of presents!
How would your mother describe you as a kid?
Hmmm…I’m not really on speaking terms with my mom, so let’s go with my grandma. She probably would describe me as having been a mini intellectual and quite precocious.
What was the thing that would make her use that term? I was too and for me, it was because I was always putting on a show.
Me too! I’m a HUGE Beyoncé fan. My grandma bought me my first Beyoncé CD, which was the “B’Day” album, which came out in 2006. I performed that album up and down in her living room. I don’t know for how long. And then “I am… Sasha Fierce” came out in 2008 and it was the same thing all over again! I would perform, perform, perform! When I was younger, I wanted to be Beyoncé. I wanted to be a singer, dancer, actress, the whole nine. And then I watched a documentary about her performances and all that goes into it. She said that she rehearsed 15 hours a day for 90 days at a time and I was like, “Uh, no. I’m not doing that…” So that life was not for me, but I still love her!
So what did you want to be when you grew up once you put that aside?
I wanted to be a teacher. I’ve wanted to do that since I was 14. When I was in eighth grade, I used to help classmates with their work, especially English. I learned to read when I was three years old. My maternal grandma — she’s that one who gave me the Beyoncé CD — used to take me to the library every weekend. I didn’t have the greatest childhood a lot of the time, so I used reading as an outlet. It was my way of escaping some of the tough situations. Because I was a great reader, I was a great student as well and I always liked to help other kids with their work. Everyone used to tell me, “You’d make a great teacher. You’re so patient!” I’d hear that from classmates and a teacher that I really looked up to, Mrs. Beatty. I wanted to be a teacher, so I went to college, studied to be a teacher, got my degree and I became a teacher! [Laughing] And then I quit!
Surprise ending! So what drove you out of the schools?
Wow, what can I say? So first a disclaimer, teaching is hard, no matter where you are, who you are or how much you prepare. It’s difficult and I accepted and expected that. But it was something I wanted to do. I’ve always cared about community work. I’ve always cared about literacy, and striving for liberation, especially for Black people and for helping people. Period. What I didn’t know was that the difficult part would come not from the students, but from administration and that I would be working in an unhealthy working environment. We were given strenuous tasks and strenuous deadlines and no support. As much as I loved teaching and still love my students, and wanted to continue teaching, I knew that it was escalating and becoming really toxic and when we tried to speak up, because I was not the only one unhappy, we weren’t listened to. Then I got offered this job at COLOURS, which allowed me to still work in community with young people and was a much healthier workplace.
Good for you.
Yes, I feel seen here. Before, there was no room for individuality, especially as a queer person. Nothing blatant, just multiple microaggressions that added up quickly, and not just against the teachers. There was homophobia towards the students as well. And I decided — especially at this time when we’re once again being attacked at all levels — it feels safer to work amongst your peers.
Tell people about the COLOURS organization.
It was originally founded in 1991 as a magazine and became an official nonprofit resource organization in 1994. The mission was to help balance the huge disparities in healthcare, education and emotional support within the community. They wanted to impact, improve and empower the lives of LGBTQ+ communities of color, especially people from the African diaspora. A lot of the focus in the beginning was on targeted issues like HIV/AIDS prevention, sexual health issues and mental health issues. We still do that and a whole lot more and as we move into the future, we want to also be a place of entertainment where community members can gather, socialize and have a good time!
Right. Sometimes, you just need a place to decompress and have a good time. What’s your official title and what’s under your purview?
I am the health and wellness coordinator for COLOURS. It’s very administrative but I also do a lot of programming, a lot of writing and do curriculums for programming, and I also do ambassadorship. For example, my community engagement specialist Laura and I were recently at a mental health fair at a high school in North Philly, where we had a table and handed out condoms and gave information about different programs at COLOURS. I also help put together partnerships with other organizations. I really love it. It’s a fun job with great people and I feel like I’m a part of something that’s bigger than myself and a part of a community at large that really needs more support, and care and more sensitivity. And I’m still impacting and interacting with young people.
What’s one of your favorite programs?
I started doing an open mic night in July that’s been really fun. The organization was started as a magazine for performers so I thought, “Why not do something entertainment based?” It’s been really successful. We have a drop-in lounge here, where people hang out and watch TV or use the community computers. People will start rehearsing right in the lounge because they’re so excited about performing.
That’s great. So what do you like to do in your spare time?
I love music. I love watching TV and I still love to read. In fact, I’m in a book club right now. Funny story…we were in the book club and talking about memories that brought us pleasure and I was talking about something from high school, mentioned that I graduated in 2018, and everyone got really quiet. I was wondering what happened and one woman asked, “I’m 35! How old are you?” [Laughing] And I thought, “Oh wow, I’m the youngest person here!” But I think that’s really indicative of me. I have friends who are my age. I have friends in their 40s and from all different backgrounds and we all hang out. We do karaoke, open mic nights, bingo nights at Level Up on Tuesdays, all sorts of stuff.
OK, I’ll be joining you for bingo next time. What was your first or favorite book as a youngster?
I don’t remember the title but it was about a turtle. I kept begging my teacher to let me read it to the class. I loved Miss Lee, but I think she didn’t believe that I could actually read. One day, she relented and I read the story about a turtle who flipped over and his struggle to get up. It was about courage and I just remember the look of astonishment on her face when I read the whole thing. Later, in fourth grade, I was really into the “Twilight” series. I was obsessed for years!
What’s your coming out story?
I came out to myself three times! Growing up, I saw myself as straight. I think it was because I wanted to be “normal.” Being a reader and kind of nerdy, I was always told that I was different. And there was a lot of abuse and neglect in the home, so I think I found safety in attention and I got a lot of attention from boys. When I was 16, I came out as bisexual, got bullied and went back in the closet! I came out again to myself as pansexual in 2019. It was an interesting time when I would say things like, “I don’t really like girls. I’m just interested in her.” Then it moved to, “I like women romantically, but men sexually.” And then it was, “You know, men suck! And they’re kind of ugly compared to women!”
Then COVID happened and in 2021, I was working at a job where my co-worker was bisexual and my manager was a lesbian and she also grew up in a strict religious household. We’d all talk and they’d say, “I don’t know Joy, we think you’re a lesbian.” I still wasn’t sure and then my godmom, Miss Flavia, who I really see as my mom, also told me that I was a lesbian but I still wasn’t sure.
Then I read the Lesbian Masterdoc, which is a 30-page document that tells you how to identify whether or not you’re a lesbian. It was written by a woman studying compulsory heterosexuality and lesbianism in context with feminism, but she lays out the question of whether people defining themselves as women or femmes are really attracted sexually or romantically to men. And it has all these checkpoints and I realized, “I really think I don’t like men, I’ve just been gaslighting myself for all these years.” And that was really scary because I now had to be fully out to myself and then eventually had to keep coming out to others. With the world seeming to get more homophobic all the time, it was a frightening prospect but I did it anyway. I started using the L word and came out to everyone. That was two years ago and we’re still standing strong!
Welcome to the club. I’ve been a proud member for several decades. Feel free to ask me questions.
[Laughing] Thank you!
So what’s the event this weekend?
We’re going to be hosting Adam Castillejo, otherwise known as “The London Patient” for a meet and greet in the COLOURS office. He is the second person in the world who has been cured of HIV. The topic for discussion is “What does finding a cure mean for the community?” There will be a chat and chew in the lounge and it will be a chance for people to talk to him and ask questions. He originally was only identified as “The London Patient,” but he stepped out of the shadows because he wanted to be “an ambassador of hope.” Unfortunately, his cure is not something that can be really duplicated, but he’s an advocate for research. After the meet and greet, there’s a private event at Cockatoo.
Cool! OK, random question time! What book would you want to enter into if you could explore its land?
My first thought is the “Twilight” series, but scratch that. I’d go into “The Gilda Stories,” by Jewelle Gomez. It’s kind of like “Twilight” but Black and more dope and much better. It’s about a Black female vampire and it goes from, I think it’s the 1800s all the way to about the ’80s. She has male lovers and female lovers and there’s trauma and drama and fights and all sorts on things. I’d love to go into that book and be a vampire with her!
Do I read that you used to play in an orchestra?
Yes, I was in the Play On Philly Symphony Orchestra. I started playing an upright bass when I was in ninth grade. I fell in love with it. My favorite piece was playing Beethoven’s Coriolan overture, it was such a hard piece that we were terrible at first but then we got really good and we got to perform it all over the city.
Let’s wrap up with a favorite line or quote.
[Laughing] I have one in mind but it has an expletive in it, so I’m going to use a different choice and go with a line from a poem that I like by Lucille Clifton. The poem is “won’t you celebrate with me” and the line that resonates with me is, “what did i see to be except myself?” It’s something that’s true to me, especially at this point in my life when I’m trying to be my truest self.
Where is COLOURS located?
We’re at 1211 Chestnut Street, Suite 910. We’re open Tuesday through Friday to the public between 10 and 4 or 5, depending on the day.