When the queer social group BVlicious needed a place for an event, they knew who to call: Alma Romero. The longtime community activist, who is affectionately called “Miss Alma,” has worked with Puentes de Salud, an organization which links the Latinx community with health-care resources, and El Futuro, an organization that helps undocumented folks in Philadelphia. Oh, and she also owns and runs her restaurant, Alma Del Mar (translation: “Soul of the Sea”) with her husband, Marcos.
Next week, she’ll be opening her heart and her festive patio and restaurant to BVLicious, a social networking event that brings together neighbors and allies from the Bella Vista area and beyond in a relaxed atmosphere for fun and socializing.
BVLicious founder Dirk Allen says, “I was cutting through the Italian market late on a Sunday night to get takeout when I happened to look in their window. They were closed for the day but as I peered in the darkened storefront, I saw a large rainbow banner that said, ‘Everyone is Welcome Here.’ I knew then that I wanted to make sure that people knew about this place. BVLicious is about making connections. It was started with the help of Bella Vista Neighbors Association president, Eugene Desyatnik, a straight guy with three kids and an incredible wife! In addition to fostering a sense of community and a way to get to know your neighbor — something that we need more than ever as we are watching our rights be stripped away — the other mission of BVlicious is to draw people to businesses and spaces they may not be aware of. After that night, I went back and met Alma and told her how much the sign meant to me and how brave it was for her to hang it up. I get choked up just thinking about it. It didn’t take long to decide that Alma Del Mar would be the perfect place for a BVLicious event. We’re going to have music with DJ Robinette Jones. It’s BYOB but we’ll have beer and margaritas available for a small donation and of course incredible food from Alma del Mar.”
The restaurant has another claim to fame that draws people from all over the country and sometimes from abroad. Alma, the restaurant and her husband were also featured on season five of “Queer Eye”!
I met up with Miss Alma in the restaurant, which sports the following quote on the entrance: “Work hard in silence. Let success make the noise.” Her daughter, Alma, acted as translator for our conversation.
I’ll attempt some of my limited Spanish, donde naciste [translation: where were you born]?
I’m from Puebla, Mexico.
Tell me about the area where you grew up?
It was by the fields where I worked since I was very little. We had seven children in the family — three boys and four girls. I was the oldest, so my mother taught me how to cook. I was the one who would help take care of my siblings since I was young.
What’s a fond memory from your childhood?
Twice a year, we would get new clothes. That was always exciting.
What did the parents do?
They also worked in the fields picking crops.
What kinds of crops did you work with?
Parsley, spinach, cilantro and onions.
What was a favorite thing to do with your brothers and sisters?
We’d play the game Mancala a lot. It’s the game played with small stones or seeds and rows of holes in a board or [on] the ground and you have to capture the other person’s pieces. It was fun. Those were good memories.
When did you come to the states?
I came here in 1998. I arrived here at the Italian Market. When I came here, I lived in a house with 18 men and me! I was the only woman to come — the first immigrant woman from my area in Mexico. It wasn’t easy. I married my husband Marcos in Mexico in 1997. He moved to Philadelphia first and I came a few months later. He promised me I’d have a big house with a garden. I love flowers.
Was he one of the 18 men?
Yes, he was.
Did you ever get your big house and garden?
Yes, but it’s empty because we’re always here.
[Alma produces a wedding photo with a handsome husband and beautiful bride] This is me, I was married at 20 years old.
Muy bella [translation: Very beautiful]!
Thank you.
What surprised you most when you came here?
We had a very idealistic idea of what America was. So I was very surprised to see poor and homeless people here. I thought there was no poverty or crime and everyone was happy. We thought things were so magical that the sun couldn’t burn you in America!
What was the hardest part?
It was tough finding a job. When I finally got work, my first job was in a factory. Most of the people there were Vietnamese so it was hard to communicate well. I was the only Hispanic person there.
Sheesh. You found yourself in a lot of situations where you were the only one.
Actually there was a woman there from Dominica. I had asked her to help me do things like buy clothes and get my hair done, because I was new and didn’t know where to go. She took me to this place and they dyed my hair this red color that I didn’t like at all. I remember we went to North Philadelphia to buy clothes and I realized that the woman was changing the price on the tickets. I didn’t want to have anything to do with that, but then when we went to the car. She tried to charge me for helping me! She even wanted $50 for gas. I paid it and told her not to come back.
How did you end up with Alma del Mar?
My husband got a job as a manager with a fish market store. His boss invited me to come work there too. I told him only if I could work seven days a week because we wanted to save up money to go into business for ourselves. He said that he would sell us the business for $150,000. We worked hard and only spent around $30-$40 a week on food and stuff and had him keep the rest for us to go towards it. We had saved up $100,000 with him when the owner had a brain aneurysm and died. Unfortunately, we never put it in writing, and when he died, there was no record of the money being ours. We were paying for the business and the name only, not the property so we had nothing but our word. It was a hard lesson but we learned from it. We now own the building and the business and the name Alma Del Mar!
That’s a tough lesson. How long have you been open?
We started Marcos’ Fish & Crab House about 15 years ago and the restaurant has been open three years. We opened at the beginning of the pandemic after Marcos recovered from a bout of COVID. My husband thought that he was dying and when he recovered, we felt like we had a new lease on life, so we opened up our restaurant and that was our dream. We wanted something different so the restaurant is American food with a Mexican twist and a focus on light and healthy meals.
How did you get involved with doing an event for the queer community?
In my head and in my heart, we’re all children of God. We’re all the same and no one should judge anyone else. It doesn’t matter who you love. And we had a great experience with the “Queer Eye” cast! [Points to a mural of the cast behind her] It says, “a todo lo que hagas ponle corazón” (translation: “put your heart into everything you do”).
That’s so cool. I just interviewed Antoni earlier in the year.
Yes, he was so nice. All five of them are super nice people!
Were they your first contacts with the gay community?
Oh no. I have had many gay friends. In Mexico, years ago, like 20 years ago, when people saw gay people, they would throw rocks at them and say terrible things to them. So a lot of people in Mexico would hide who they were. It was really sad. I always thought that could be one of my children who loves someone of the same gender or uses different pronouns. Now we have a lot of gay people around us, including our neighbors, so it’s great.
Do you think the homophobia was because Mexico is very Catholic?
Yes. Religion plays a big part. In Mexico, we’re born into being Catholic, but we all have different ways of honoring it. And even the Pope just said himself that he loves everyone and that everyone is equal.
How did you get involved with the Fab 5?
That was my husband. He’s a lot of fun. In fact, he’s the one who named this area “Puebladelphia” because of all the Mexican restaurants in one spot. When the show came to Philly, the casting people were walking all around. They saw my husband outside yelling, “Eat fish! You’ll live longer!” He looked pretty messy with his hair going all over the place. They looked at him and were like, “Oh, we want you.” When my daughter came home from school, he asked her to look them up and see if they were legitimate. She didn’t think much of it and said she’d check later when she had a chance. None of us knew what a big deal it was, but the next day, they showed up again and said that he had been chosen. They came up to me and asked if he understood what they wanted to do and if so, were we in? We said yes, and they grabbed the cameras and started filming! And that’s how it happened.
Did they make him look a lot better?
Yes!
What has been the response?
Everyone was happy for us and for 9th Street! And my husband spoke a lot about culture clash and the difficulties of being here when your education was in another country and the kinds of things that immigrants face. It was very emotional.
Who painted the mural of the guys?
My family all helped. There was a muralist who designed and painted it with the family’s help. It wasn’t part of the show. We did it later. We did it in honor of the Fab 5!
I guess you were famous after that!
Yes! A couple of months ago, there was a lady from Hong Kong who came in because she had seen the show. People come in from all over. It’s fun.
So speaking of fun, what do you like to do when you’re not in the store or restaurant?
I don’t have too much time, but I like it when we get the whole family together. My husband likes to grill chicken, fish, whatever. I love it when he cooks! And I like acting now. I’m working later this month on my second movie.
Get out of here!
Yeah. I was in another movie not too long ago and I was in one of the “Rocky” movies too. I like the theater and movies. I’m not camera shy. I love it. I also love learning too, so I try to take different types of classes. The more you learn, the sharper you are. I go every Tuesday to Fleisher Art Memorial to take classes and I’m learning how to do social media. I never learned computing in school, ever, so this is new for me! It seems like these days, little babies and three- and four-year-olds know how to use a computer so I wanted to learn how to do it. Technology is so much a part of our lives now.
What was a favorite book as a kid?
“La Cucaracha”! I didn’t do a lot of reading, but I remember that one.
What did you enjoy as a kid?
I played soccer, and I ran track. I did hurdles and I was pretty good. I was number one in my school! [At this point, an astonished Alma (the daughter) interjects, “I never knew that!”]
What’s your favorite picture of your hubby?
This one, it’s the whole family from our 25th anniversary. My husband asked me what I wanted to do to celebrate and I said that all I wanted was a photoshoot of all of us, my three daughters and my little son.
It’s a beautiful picture. What’s your worst clothing disaster?
My closet! Because we didn’t have money to buy clothes when I was young. When we had a little money, I’d say, “Let’s go to Macy’s” and get a dress. I have clothes in my closet that still have the tags on.
Do you play any instruments?
No. My husband plays the guitar
A favorite saying?
Si, se puede. Yes, you can.
Check out BVLicious 6-8:30 p.m. Oct. 19 at Alma del Mar, 1007 S. 9th Street. For more information, visit facebook.com/BVliciousPhilly.