This world is sometimes characterized as a dog eat dog world, with people getting more angry and self involved every day, but I’m more of an optimist. I know from writing this column that there are plenty of people out there more interested in lending a hand than stepping on toes, people who want to make the world a better place. On October 16, hundreds of those good people will be out for the AIDS Walk Philly 5K to raise public awareness and funds for those living with HIV/AIDS. In addition to walking the scenic Martin Luther King Drive, there’s a reading of names at 7am, the opening ceremony at 8 am at the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, and an aerobic warm-up. There will be lots of entertainment from groups like the renowned Dukes of Destiny, guest speakers include Pierre Robert of WMMR, Mutha Knows of WDAS-FM, Loraine Ballard Morrill of IHeartMedia, and more.
There will also be 25 blocks from the AIDS Memorial Quilt on display, something I remember from its emotional beginning back in the ‘80s. The quilt is still a very powerful symbol of the many we’ve lost and continue to lose. One of the good people out there walking will be John C. Butts. John is someone who dedicates a good portion of his life and time helping others. He sits on several boards across the city but also is willing to do the ground work as well. John’s main passion and focus is Diversity and Inclusion with a focus on the LGBTQ community, older adults, anti-racism, and underserved populations. I’d name all of his affiliations, but there wouldn’t be space left to talk with him!
Are you a Philly native?
Yes, born and raised in Philadelphia. I’ve been living in Havertown for 16 years, with my husband of almost 4 weeks and our cat, Oliver. We call him our son. We just got married, but we’ve been together for 24 years.
Oh my goodness! Well, congratulations for at last tying the knot! That’s a long engagement…
[Laughing] Well, you know, you want to be sure. Actually we had several different licenses that expired, a couple because of Covid, and we finally said, let’s just get the self-uniting marriage license, where you just need two witnesses. So we got the license and decided to visit my aunt who has a home on Long Beach Island. We planned to use her as a witness along with Michael’s best friend Lynda, but she said, “No, we have to make it special!” So she threw together a wedding ceremony in 10 days and on September 3rd we were married on her dock overlooking the bay and it was beautiful. She also hired a banner plane to fly over with a banner which read, “Some things are meant to be…” and it had our names on it.
Aww, nice auntie! So tell me about the rest of the family, do you have siblings?
I do, I have an older brother and sister. They’re both local as well, my brother is married with two boys, and my sister has two girls. She and I are very close.
What would they say about you as a little brother?
Well, a quick story, I never really came out to my parents. I don’t know why, maybe I never felt the need to or just because it never surfaced. But I always felt that they knew. Shortly after my dad died I was going over to my mom’s for dinner and she called me that afternoon crying. I assumed it was because of just having lost my Dad but she said, “I just want you to know that we both loved you and that we know…” I immediately knew what she meant, but I was at my cubicle at work with people on all 4 sides of me so I just said, “Alright, it’s okay mom, we’ll talk about this tonight.” She said “Okay, I just wanted you to know that we loved you, we’ve always loved you” and I jumped in, “Yep, okay mom, got it, we’ll talk more about it later.” We hung up and 5 minutes later, she called back, “Do you think your brother and sister know?” I responded, “Uh, I think my brother knows, my sister, I’m not too sure.” So another 5 minutes goes by and I get a call from my brother, “What the heck are you doing with mom? She just called and asked if I knew that you were gay?” I said, “Well, what did you say?” and he responded, “I said, ‘Mom, he’s been decorating our Christmas tree with homemade bows since he was 5, of course he’s gay!” [Laughing] It’s always good to have family support!
And your sister?
My husband calls her “La La” because she’s the type who just goes with the flow. She’s a peacemaker.
What kinds of extracurricular things were you into?
I wasn’t as active in things as I am now. In grade school I was a safety guard, as well as an altar boy. I went to a Catholic grade school where I became close to the nuns and still have a strong Catholic faith. I was the tallest in my class, so they would always call on me to do things like decorate the bulletin board or carry their heavy briefcases and I loved it. It made me a target for the mean boys as the teacher’s pet. Then I went to a public high school where we had a quasi-diversity group. I’m 58, so there wasn’t anything really official. But I didn’t really get into volunteerism until I started to work for Independence Blue Cross.
And you made up for lost time from what I can see.
[Laughed] I guess so, I worked there for 17 years. While I was there 4 of us, one of the people being Sheila Hess who is now the city rep for Philadelphia, came up with the idea of an employee volunteer program. We launched what is called “The Blue Crew,” a program where the employees volunteer in communities where they serve and live. It’s a program that continues to this day. Through that, I started doing our annual United Way campaign. I was the president of our employee association which included an annual holiday event and smaller activities like biking, running, basketball (not that I participated in the sporty ones, can’t say I’m a sporty guy). But we also had things like the Crochet Hookers who knit things for babies in need; we had a chorus; and I was heavily involved in making them happen. I felt that I was able to be myself and the company was very supportive. When the CEO, G. Fred DiBona, died they created an award in his honor and I was selected to receive it the second year (the inaugural winner was Sheila Hess).
Now I proudly work for AmeriHealth Caritas/PerformRx. We’re in 14 states and touch over 5 million member lives. I work in the PBM business (Pharmacy Benefit Management), doing Marketing and Public Relations. I’ve been there for 11 years but when I first got there they didn’t have a similar volunteer program, so I actively came up with some opportunities for our associates. AmeriHealth now has an active and successful Community Investment Department. Under their leadership, we launched the “Care Crew,” along the same lines as the Blue Crew. My next endeavor was to create a Pride group, and I’m the lead for the events and activities that the Pride group participates in. This year I completed the national diversity training and am proud to say that I am now certified and can add those credentials, as I think it’s vital for corporations to do the much-needed work to end systemic racism and celebrate, respect and support our differences.
As someone who is obviously interested in other human beings and getting involved, where do you think you got your altruistic traits from?
I love that you asked that, I got them from my mom. She was a big, big person who used the word ‘love’ a lot. In fact, almost too much because I remember one time when we were really little, the milk man came by. My mother would make up bags of our clothes or food to give away and when he came to pick them up she was having a conversation with him and said, “Okay! I love you Bob!” which my sister and I heard. We were too young to understand the difference between love and ‘in love’ so we were horrified, “Oh no! Mommy’s in love with the milkman!” But yes, she’s the one who taught me that we have to love one another and at the end of the day we’re all humans and need each other.
Out of all you’ve done, what’s something that sticks in your mind as life changing?
I became an associate with the Sisters of Mercy, which means that you align yourself to their gospel values, social teaching and justice work. They were launching an office of anti-racism and racial equity; I went to a training program on privilege, and I was profoundly touched by one of the exercises that we did. We stood against a wall and you would move across the room if you answered yes to the question being asked. The questions were things like, “Have you ever been followed in a store?” and the people who crossed were all people of color. Then hearing people’s stories about what they went through? It was like a bell went off for me and it prompted me to get involved in anti-racism and justice work. I’m now a regional coordinator with the Sisters of Mercy covering 9 states.
How did you get involved with the AIDS Walk?
I did the walk when I was younger and had more hair. I’d just come out and thought, “great, I’m gay and now I’m going to die.” So I decided that I had to do something, and that’s how I started getting involved with a lot of things in the AIDS community. Then I stopped doing the Walk for several years and I found myself involved with other activities including an annual conference that always took place at the same time.
But last year I decided to jump back in and I reached out to Robb Reichard, the Executive Director of the AIDS Fund, who is an incredible guy and a passionate and phenomenal leader. I asked to both volunteer and to walk, and I was able to raise over $8,000. This year, AmeriHealth will have a walk team and volunteers. I have raised over $7,000 with two weeks to go! There’s just something that comes over you when you’re there and see the quilts and hear the names being read. You realize that it isn’t over and that the fight is still going on, especially with Monkeypox and the way that the community is being blamed and shamed once again. It just takes you back and you want to do something.
What’s different about the Walk now?
At the Walk and at this year’s Pride I was excited to see how many young people and families were there, which is great. Our LGBTQ youth need the community support, especially with suicide rates so high, especially in the trans community. They are facing so much hate. I just don’t understand how someone could hate anybody, much less a child, so much that they make that person want to end their life.
Me either. Okay, let’s turn to lighter things, what do you like to do in your spare time, if that exists.
I spend time with my husband, though I’m sure he wishes it was more. I like to read, mostly books on diversity and inclusion. There’s one I’m reading now, “Belonging.” I recently was able to start a campaign at work, “I Belong.” The mantra is “I don’t have to be, to belong,” with the idea being that I can belong to an LGBTQ organization without being LGBTQ, I can belong to a woman’s organization though I’m not a woman. The premise is that everyone can be an ally because what affects one, affects us all, whether you realize it or not.
What’s the most blatant homophobia you’ve faced?
My dad’s dad was old school mentality, a burly Irish Catholic guy who loved his bars. I remember visiting one time and as I walked in I kissed my grandmother and then went to kiss my grandfather and he pushed me so hard that I fell over backwards and he said, “Boys don’t kiss boys!” I was only in about 1st grade. I wish he was here now so I could say, “I kissed a boy and I liked it!”
What did you get into trouble for the most when you were young?
I was really a good kid. No, really. I do remember one time drinking the wine at church. We (me and some other altar boys) were cleaning up. I got caught by the sacristan and wasn’t on the mass schedule much after that.
What genre of TV do you like to binge watch?
I shouldn’t admit to it, but I like to unwind with brainless reality TV like the “Real Housewives” franchise. Which is a bone of contention because my husband likes programs about history and more serious things, but I just love their real world drama.
Phillies, Birds, Sixers or Flyers?
[Laughing] Who?
Okay, not a sports guy.
But always a Phan when any of our teams are winning.
Favorite photo of your hubby?
There’s a great picture of the two of us sitting outside on a bench. It has great colors in the background that show off his beautiful blue eyes, and there’s another of us at our nuptials with him behind me with his arms around me.
What fashion from another period would you love to wear?
I’d say the ‘80s. Michael says I’m still there!
A quote you live by?
It’s from the bible, “Love one another as I have loved you.” There’s so much hate in this world, but love does conquer hate. We just need to realize it and act upon it and show up for one another.
To volunteer or walk in the Aids Walk, go to www.aidswalkphilly.org or call 215-731-WALK.