I did not know October was National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. How could this get past me? Antar Bush — psychotherapist, professor of social work and public health, social-justice columnist — how could I not be aware of this “day of unity” devoted to all the victims and survivors of LGBTQ intimate-partner violence?
If I dig deep and reflect on this, could it be that I don’t think gay men can be in domestic-violence relationships? Could it be my own male misogyny prevents me from seeing this as a real issue in our black LGBTQ community? Deep down inside, I know I may have always thought of this issue as a mainly a “straight” issue that does not occur often in LGBTQ relations.
I now know I was wrong.
When doing my own research, I was shocked to find the barriers facing LGBTQ people seeking help in domestic-violence relationships. Intimate partner violence (IPV) is as prevalent in LGBTQ communities as it is in heterosexual relationships; however, there are some unique challenges in reporting and addressing this issue. To highlight the importance of this topic within the black LGBTQ community, here are some of the distinctive and common obstacles:
• You would have to “out” yourself to report the crime, and we know there are people in our community who are not ready to make this step just yet
• Legal definitions of domestic violence that exclude same-sex couples
• The lack of, or survivors not knowing about, LGBTQ-specific or LGBTQ-friendly resources
• Potential homophobia, transphobia and racist bias from staff of service providers or from non-LGBT survivors of IPV with whom LGBTQ people may interact
• Low levels of confidence in the sensitivity and effectiveness of law-enforcement officials and courts for black LGBTQ people
Although there are limited resources for LGBTQ people who experience IPV, we as a collective must help one another understand why we don’t speak up when an issue arises. We all have to become Sophia from Alice Walker’s “The Color Purple” and say to our friend in trouble, “Girl, you betta bash Mister’s head open and think about Heaven later.”
Enough is enough!
Antar Bush is a public-health advocate, professor at West Chester University and executive producer of OUTPour LGBTQ. He is committed to advocating for health equity in all communities. Follow him on Instagram @antarbushmswmph.