Every day at 5:30 p.m. — as Gayborhood bars and restaurants fill with the post-work, happy-hour crowds — the second-floor meeting room at Washington West Project at 12th and Locust streets fills with its own crowd.
Some visit the space every day, others are in Philly on business and still others are taking their first steps into this community — one that shares a goal of sobriety.
Early Night Out provides a safe space for LGBTs and allies seeking recovery 365 days a year. The Alcoholics Anonymous-affiliated group has been operating for 25 years this month.
Early Night Out traces its origins to the Recovery Clubhouse, which was situated at the Camac Center at 12th Street Gym.
“There was a whole series of 12-step meetings held at Recovery Clubhouse, and each meeting took on a name,” explained Rick, who has been sober for 27 years. “Early Night Out began its gestation within Recovery Clubhouse, which ended up at William Way and eventually dissolved as more and broader resources for recovery for LGBT people and other communities became available. But the meeting continues to this day.”
The name, time and location with the Gayborhood were all significant, Rick said.
“The people who started this knew, ‘Boy, we need an after-work meeting.’ It was always at 5 or 5:30 to provide a gateway to the evenings, which in the LGBT community is bartime for a lot of people. This was a way to go to AA instead of Woody’s.”
Early Night Out is an “open” meeting, meaning participants do not need to identify as an alcoholic to attend; “closed” meetings are reserved for those who self-identify as such.
The meeting is membership-driven; once a year, the members elect a new general chair, who oversees the monthly business meetings where each month’s meeting chair is selected.
Tom said he was attracted to the role of general chair as a way to give back to the meeting that he said has changed his life.
“It was about the service aspect,” he said. “Service kept me sober, so every chance I could give back to this group that has kept me sober for the last two-and-a-half years, I’ve wanted to take.”
Service is also important for Marie, sober for 24 years.
She serves as a sponsor for many people in recovery, more than half of whom are gay men. As a straight ally, Marie said she was attracted to Early Night Out because of the safe environment it offered.
“I’ve always been very close with the gay community; even in high school — and you didn’t come out back in those days — my gay friends came out to me first,” she said. “For me, and a lot of straight women in recovery, there’s a dynamic that goes on with straight guys at other meetings, especially when you may be telling some lurid stories about your history. Early Night Out was always safe.”
Though the environment for LGBT people has drastically changed in Early Night Out’s 25 years, Rick said an LGBT-affirming space for people in recovery is still needed.
“Times have certainly changed but even now there is some timidness around walking into a place where your sexuality could be an issue. And you’ve already got this big monkey on your back called addiction,” he said. “When you come into a room and you see people like yourself who understand the struggles you may have with your family, in your neighborhood, at the workplace, there’s just a shorthand that occurs between people. The comfort level is so much higher [here] and you’re freer emotionally to deal with the addiction.”
Having such a tight-knit group to rely on is also important, Rick noted, as sobriety tends to change one’s social life. Group members often go out for coffee after meetings and meet up for other social occasions.
“It’s difficult to find a place that’s safe for everybody,” Tom said. “Early Night Out includes everyone: straight, gay, transgender, people still trying to figure out whether or not they are an alcoholic. It’s a safe place for people of all walks of life.”
The journey to sobriety is different for all Early Night Out members.
Rick started his process when his partner, who was dying of AIDS, staged an intervention, giving him an ultimatum to take action or he would leave him. He stopped drinking about two weeks later and made his first trip to the Recovery Clubhouse. When Rick’s partner later died, he sought out the only recovery meeting at the hospital — which was a women’s meeting, whose members welcomed him.
Tom was also prompted by an ultimatum from a partner, his now-husband. The two used to be drinking buddies, lost touch and reconnected in the Gayborhood.
“After that, I found out he was sober. He was attending Early Night Out on a regular basis and it came to light that I too had a drinking problem,” Tom said. “He basically told me that I needed to get help or that’s it, he was leaving. So he introduced me to Early Night Out.”
Marie said she was forced to take a closer look at her life after a presentation at her workplace about alcoholism.
“They laid out the profile of what an alcoholic looked like. It looked just like me,” she said, adding she went to lunch with the presenter to learn more. “I said, ‘I have a great relationship, I have a kid, I volunteer, I work out all the time, I’ve never lost a job. But I drink every day and have for 17 years.’”
Marie went to 90 meetings in her first 90 days of recovery, got a sponsor and a home group.
The support of Mazzoni Center, which operates Washington West Project, has been integral to Early Night Out, the members said. The organization charges the group a modest rent and Rick said it has been great to work with on facility and other issues.
“Our presence in that facility is a great example of an organization working well with a resource group in the community,” he said. “Despite its sometimes-fractious nature, the LGBT community can do remarkable things.”
Early Night Out meets every day at 5:30 p.m. at Washington West Project, 1201 Locust St.