“Welcome” is the watchword for LGBT people in faith spaces. As queer-affirming congregations see more marriages of people with different religions, officials want to keep them engaged.
PGN talked with a Jewish organization and a Christian church to find out what resources are available for LGBT couples who want to build a shared spiritual life across faiths.
InterfaithFamily/Philadelphia
Only 11 percent of LGBT Jews, including those who were single, had Jewish partners, according to a 2009 article in the Journal of Jewish Communal Service. Religious leaders say anecdotal evidence suggests LGBT Jews marry outside the religion more often than straight Jews.
“If you have fallen away from your faith because you don’t feel accepted, you may not be as concerned with finding a Jewish partner,” said Rabbi Robyn Frisch, director of InterfaithFamily/Philadelphia.
Her organization, part of a national nonprofit with eight community offices across the country, counsels couples in which one partner is Jewish while the other comes from a different religion. It has been an LGBT-inclusive project since its inception in 2001.
InterfaithFamily/Philadelphia offers a workshop called “Love and Religion” to provide space for couples to have conversations about their faith. The four-week course starts Sept. 6 and meets on Tuesday evenings. It costs $18 per couple. For more information, visit www.interfaithfamily.com/phillycouples. Interfaith couples interested in raising children can find additional resources at www.interfaithfamily.com/phillyparents.
Frisch said InterfaithFamily also recommends clergy for life-cycle events, primarily weddings. The organization works with couples that want to build a Jewish home and with the Jewish community to encourage acceptance of interfaith couples.
“Many of the couples say, ‘My parents were fine when I came out, but they had a hard time with me dating someone who’s not Jewish,’” Frisch said. “In the liberal Jewish community, your gender identity or sexuality should not matter in terms of what they do ritually. There are ritual boundaries for someone who is not Jewish at many synagogues.”
Metropolitan Community Church
For LGBT couples from different Christian backgrounds, Metropolitan Community Church has long been a safe haven. The Philadelphia branch opened 45 years ago.
“When we started our church there was nowhere else for LGBT people to go,” said the Rev. Jeffrey Jordan. “There was no place for fellowship. Forty-five years ago, there was no community center. Forty-five years ago, there were no sports organizations. Either you were at a bar or you were at MCC.”
Jordan said all Metropolitan Community Churches celebrate the sacrament, but they are not overly dogmatic. There is a big variety between the practices at each church’s location. Jordan said that makes it more welcoming to have individual congregations decide their spiritual paths.
Starting in the 1980s at the church in San Francisco, a statue of Mary stood alongside a statue of Buddha. Some who had died of AIDS-related complications in the area practiced Buddhism, and their friends wanted to memorialize them.
“At the beginning of the AIDS crisis, MCC was one of the only places where you could come and respectfully hold services for those who had died,” Jordan said.
He noted some interfaith LGBT couples today in Philadelphia that include Christians and Buddhists.
“As a Christian, I believe that Christ is my savior,” Jordan said. “However, I don’t necessarily believe that’s the only way. I hope that in some ways everyone would feel welcome in my church.”
For more information, visit www.whosoevermccp.com.