qFLIX just ended and one of the things I enjoy most about it is the opportunity to meet new friends at the various events and parties that happen in conjunction with the LGBT film festival.
One of the gents I met at last year’s qFLIX was the lovely Sheldon Crooks. The dapper fellow, his partner Graham and I had some great conversations about the state of the world and how films can create change. We ran into each other again this year and took up right where we left off. I thought it would be fun to get to know him better.
PGN: Where were you born?
SC: I was born in Brandon, which is a small town and civil parish in the English county of Suffolk, and I grew up in Leytonstone, which is an area of East London. I spent most of my life there with intermittent times living in Venezuela, Trinidad/Tobago, Paris, Barcelona and Madrid. I had quite an illustrious childhood.
PGN: Why so much travel?
SC: My mom was a diplomat and my dad was a captain with British Airways; he flew the Concord. Growing up, we moved quite a bit. As I got older, I vowed that I wouldn’t travel much and then ended up in a profession — fashion — that afforded me the luxury of travel and I too got bitten by the bug.
PGN: Tell me more about mom.
SC: She was a lawyer who worked with the UN and their legal-services department; she dealt specifically with fundraising to prosecute war crimes. She did that for 22 years and then she was offered a position in the Margaret Thatcher administration, then with Tony Blair. Both parents have passed on but they left quite a nice legacy.
PGN: You said “we” moved a lot.
SC: Yes, I have a younger sister. She’s also a lawyer in London. We had a small immediate family but a huge extended one. My mother had 14 siblings.
PGN: What?!
SC: My grandmother had four naturally born and adopted the rest.
PGN: Phew! Her name wasn’t Mother Theresa, was it?
SC: [Laughs] Yes, Sylvia Theresa! She was from a Portuguese/French background. She never worked a day in her life and loved to entertain. She enjoyed cooking and caring for people. Her house was open to everyone; she took kids in, people and families in need. She traveled a lot with us when we were kids and everywhere we went she’d meet people who would at some point come to her in London. She had a magnetism and a personality that I hope has rubbed off on me. I love people.
PGN: So did grandmother come from money since she didn’t work?
SC: She came from money and she also married into money. My grandfather was one of the … well, they weren’t saying “colored” at that point, but he was one of the first persons of color to be a Station Master in London. That was at a time when train travel was revered. He had a very large house and would throw big society parties. One of my aunts was a journalist for the Guardian. In those days a journalist was a very respected position and …
PGN: [Laughs] Hey! What are you trying to say? “Not like you scrubs nowadays”?
SC: No, no, no! [Laughs] Not at all, they were just in the papers all the time because of his position and for the great society events that my grandmother used to throw. With nine girls in the house, everyone wanted to report on who was wearing what at the parties.
PGN: Were you always a fashionista?
SC: Um, yes. There is a picture that I possess from when I was 4 years old in a corduroy moss-green jumper with an orange espresso-brown-and-gold-striped sweater, coordinated with a matching hat. When I was 13, I had the opportunity to go to Paris with my mother and see the first-ever Chanel show. I didn’t know why I liked what I liked, but I loved the drama behind the art — because fashion to me was art and my mother was a person who perpetuated art in and around the house. I don’t think I’d ever seen her without makeup or not coordinated or pulled together. So it was in my DNA.
PGN: Was it ever a problem going into grade school? Boys who dress fashionably are often teased.
SC: I was able to camouflage some of it because I went to boarding school and we wore a uniform of blazers and ties or ascots, but of course I still wanted my own style so I’d tweak things ever so slightly, and wear a hat and a lapel pin, which were not parts of the uniform. I’d wear bowties that had color instead of the standard burgundy and gold.
PGN: You rebel!
SC: Yes! I remember one day one of my schoolmates asked me why was I so different. I was about 6, but I began to realize that I was a little different from the others, though I didn’t quite know why yet.
PGN: And when did you start to understand?
SC: Well, from the age of 4 I always loved to be with my grandmother. I enjoyed going on holiday with her and preferred her company over that of my male cousins. I think she knew and her home was a bit of a safe haven for me.
PGN: Describe her home.
SC: Oh wow, my paternal great-grandfather was Indian and he was an antiques dealer. He was from Madras. His name was originally Mohandas but he changed it to Crooks to assimilate. Anyway, he sold several pieces to my grandmother from India and Morocco, etc., so she had a very curated house. And both Mom and Dad traveled extensively so they would bring back pieces for her as well. So every six months she’d change the house into a whole new theme. She also traveled and brought souvenirs home. I remember the first time she went to Greece: When she came home she put mosaic blue in the bathrooms. I thought it was too bright, but then she showed me pictures, and from then on, I always felt like I was in Greece with the blue and white and turquoise. The house was tangible; you could feel it and sense it walking in, and it was very global.
PGN: Do you find much connection to your Indian heritage?
SC: You know, I’m starting to find it more through my cooking. I’m discovering a connection to my Indian culture through my taste buds. As I’m doing research into the family tree, I’m finding things that my grandparents prepared a certain way or traditions that were incorporated. I just found out that my mother had two weddings: an Indian-style wedding where she dressed in a sari and an Anglo wedding. It’s quite interesting.
PGN: Early signs you were gay?
SC: I always loved sports, but never the traditional ones. I did not like football.
PGN: And by football you mean soccer …
SC: [Laughs] Yes, if you insist. I liked tennis and I think I liked it because of the uniform, the outfits — and the boys wearing them. It’s a sport that requires attention to details and I’m a very detail-oriented person. I got involved with the game and did quite well. My parents got me a coach who had been a seeded Wimbledon player and former military coach. We spent almost 40 hours a week together practicing and he was my first crush.
PGN: Can I ask his name?
SC: Carlos Taylor. Oh my, he’ll probably kill me if he ever sees this. He’s a tough military guy on the outside but a teddy bear on the inside. And he was very paternal, which was great as a player, having someone who was tough but fair and nurturing. I started at 6 through circuit play; that’s a lot of time with someone and he became like a second father.
PGN: First boy kiss?
SC: We had a house here in the states in West Chester, N.Y., and we’d come here in the summer. There was a pool and my godfather’s son would visit us; he was studying acting at Fordham University. Uncle Lawrence, my godfather, mentioned that Chris had come out but I didn’t know what that meant. But it was very aspirational because Chris was very open and exuberant. There were things about his personality that were akin to mine. And I loved when he came here on holiday. He played tennis and swam like I did. One day we were playing Marco Polo and he leaned over and he said he was going to swim over and kiss me. I thought, That’s rubbish, I’m not doing that! But before I had time to say anything, he’d already kissed me. It was the first intimate contact I’d had and it felt comfortable. That was my first lip smack!
PGN: What did you end up going to school for?
SC: My first degree was for economics with marketing and finance. I wanted to eventually work in fashion marketing. In Europe it’s a little bit different: You start building your résumé from year one, so I worked at the Central Bank in London and decided that wasn’t for me. I took a year off and moved to Paris where I got a second degree in the culinary arts at L’Univers Lenôtre, which is one of the top schools in the world for pastry. I love cooking and creating pastries still.
PGN: Guess who’s coming to breakfast?
SC: Yes! You must! So fast-forward, I then decided to get a master’s degree in art history so I started to apply to schools in the U.S. I’d begun to realize that I was a young gay man and wanted to be slightly liberated from Mom and Dad. I wanted to create a life independent of them. I got accepted to Cornell University and that’s how I came to the U.S. While I was pursuing my degree, one of my good friends got married and I was his best man. His father was the chancellor of the Central Bank in Switzerland and asked me what we wanted as groomsman gifts. I suggested that all young men coming of age needed to have a good tuxedo and he agreed. I found out that Calvin Klein had opened a wonderful store on Madison Avenue and could make us custom tuxedos. The store was designed by Philippe Starck and was this huge, industrial structure that I was dying to see. Ten of us went down for our fitting and before we left I was recruited by Calvin Klein and offered a position in the company! That began my career in fashion and how I was able to convert my student visa into citizenship.
PGN: Talk a little about that career.
SC: I have been very, very fortunate and privileged to launch and head the home-furnishing division for Calvin Klein. It was a great learning experience that I’m still humbled by. I pretty much went from that fitting with only a business degree and a large personality to serve me. I met so many people, from designers to photographers to executives, who all helped along the way as I went from home furnishings to menswear to women’s wear, all the way up the ladder from retail to production, from graphics to visual to design.
PGN: Give me two memorable moments.
SC: The first that comes to mind was having the opportunity to meet Oscar de la Renta. I went to the D&D, which is the design building on Lexington, and had been there for breakfast to see the home-design collection launch. As fate would have it, I was walking past the elevators just as the doors opened and out walked Mr. de la Renta … with me dressed head to toe in Calvin Klein! He walked out and said, “Good morning. You look very handsome.” I turned to see who he was talking to and he said, “I mean you” and he pointed at me. He asked my name and said, “I want to know more about you,” so I introduced myself and told him my story and when the conversation ended, he took my contact information and told me that he was going to send me some samples. I didn’t think anything of it, figuring a man as famous as him had better things to do, but four days later a messenger arrived with original samples of his work and the most amazing gilded envelope with an invitation to come to dinner. It was beyond a dream come true. It was a chance to share his world because at dinner I got to meet his wife, Anette, and his daughter and go to his showroom. It was magical. The other moment was meeting André Leon Talley at a Giorgio Armani event and him toasting me, “What’s your story?”
PGN: So that’s my question to you!
SC: What is my story? I’ve been very blessed. I’m so fortunate to have the experiences and life that I’ve had, very lucky. I’m a lover of all things creative, whether it’s art or food or people. I can find art in anything.
PGN: Name three things you have in common with your partner Graham.
SC: Graham says shoe size, a love for travel and a very simpatico approach to people.
PGN: You’re so affable. When do you lose your temper?
SC: It’s very rare. But when it happens, it’s when I see someone being disrespectful to another human being.
PGN: What are you doing now?
SC: Right now, I’m concentrating on doing volunteer work. My former partner, Vinny, died of cancer a little over a year ago. The company I was working for was not compassionate in the least so I left. His death gave me a whole new perspective and helped me to reset and focus on what’s important.
PGN: Tell me about Vinny.
SC: I’ve never seen anyone with knowledge of their fate like he did, who accepted it with such grace and humor and bravery. He enjoyed every last moment and did what he could to support me while I was taking care of him. He knew I felt helpless and he went out of his way to give me the comfort of knowing I did everything I could.
PGN: And what were some things he inspired you to do?
SC: I worked on a few cancer fundraising events. I’ve been helping a friend with a book-publishing company. I also volunteer for a meal-delivery service and have done fundraising for them as well, and soon I hope to join the board of Philadelphia FIGHT. So much to do!
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