This is Pride weekend and there will be plenty of it displayed at the annual Philly Pride parade and festival. The festival is sure to be great fun — I’m definitely looking forward to hearing Deborah Cox perform. I can (barely) recall many a time in my youth belting out her hit “Nobody’s Supposed to Be Here” with a slightly inebriated group of friends.
There’s also another event this week for friends to gather and celebrate our pride: the volunteer-driven annual Philly Dyke March — PDM if you’re hip like me. Although celebratory in nature, this is not just a chance to break out your rainbow fedora and dance; the Dyke March is not a parade, but a grassroots march, unsanctioned and free, that starts and ends at Kahn Park (11th and Pine streets). This week we spoke to PDM organizer Arielle Catron.
PGN: You’ve been with the Philly Dyke March for five years. Are you from here?
AC: Nearby. I grew up in Collingswood, N.J., but have lived in Philly for about 10 years. I went to Temple undergrad and I’ve been here since then. Right now I live in South Philly with my partner, Mary McMullen.
PGN: Collingswood is such a quaint little town. Was it like that when you were growing up?
AC: No, it’s transitioned from a basically middle-class, working-class town to the boutique town that it is now. I have to say Haddon Avenue is really cute now.
PGN: Did you grow up as an only child or with siblings?
AC: I have two little brothers, half-brothers. They’re both 10 years younger than me and graduating high school this year. One of them, Zack, has come out; in fact, he’s going to be with me over Pride weekend. It’s also his birthday weekend so we’re going to have a lot of fun. My other little brother, Tim, is straight. He has a girlfriend but he’s a great LGBT ally. They’ve both always been really supportive of all my activism and feminism and that kind of stuff.
PGN: I have a nephew who came out to me when he was in high school. I was/am the only out person in the family so I got to be a bit of a role model for him.
AC: Yeah, I was very lucky that I got to grow up with a lot of gay role models. My favorite aunt has been with her partner for 35 years and I went to an Episcopal church that was really gay-friendly so a lot of the priests and other church figures that I grew up with were out. There was a lot of support around me.
PGN: How and when did your little brother come out to you?
AC: He came out when he was about 10. Our family has always been very supportive of both of us.
PGN: Did you have any inkling?
AC: [Laughs] Yeah, I knew. I think the whole family did. He used to ice skate when he was little. At the time, they gave the boys a choice between ice hockey and figure skating and he was the only boy who chose figure skating! We were like, “OK, we get it.”
PGN: What do the folks do?
AC: My mom worked at TD Bank in New Jersey and my dad’s been retired for a while. He’s an artist and theater director in North Jersey. They’ve been divorced for, like, 25 years.
PGN: Artist as in painter?
AC: Yes.
PGN: What was a favorite TV show as a kid?
AC: Probably “Clarissa Explains It All.” Do you remember that show?
PGN: No, though I’ve heard of it. I was more the “Scholastic Rock” era. Did Clarissa explain it all?
AC: Yes! She did. She was so cool to me because she was a teenage girl who had her head on straight, she knew and did what she wanted and she wasn’t obsessed with boys. She liked to learn things and was kind of a feminist figure for me growing up.
PGN: Did that pave the way for your activism?
AC: Yes, I think so.
PGN: So segueing into that, what activist-type work have you done?
AC: As an undergrad at Temple, I was in the Queer Student Union and after that I worked with Women Against Abuse for two-and-a-half years. I did domestic-violence counseling and coordinated with the police to help work with police response to domestic violence. It was a great project that I was excited to work on. From there, I went to the Women’s Law Project while I was in school for my master’s in social work. I worked on campus safety and campus response to sexual assault. So I’ve done a mix of women’s activist and LGBT activism.
PGN: What was the most surprising thing you learned working with the police and what was the most egregious thing?
AC: One of the most surprising things was that the police, at least the leadership, were more open to collaboration than I’d anticipated. It was clear that they wanted things to get better. The most egregious thing was just being aware of how serious domestic violence still is today. The cases that I would read and the victims I would talk to and the stories I would hear make it clear. I think people sometimes feel like domestic violence is something that’s slowly gone away over time and in some ways it has, as women have more support and choices, but it’s still very much a part of our society in all walks of life. Some of the stories I heard were worse than I’d ever imagined.
PGN: I imagine that it’s frustrating when the knee-jerk response from a lot of people is, “Why doesn’t he or she or they just leave?”
AC: People think that domestic violence is just one partner hitting another partner so why doesn’t that person just leave, like you said. But it’s so much more than that. It’s a grooming process that involves cutting the other person off from their resources, cutting them off from their families and friends, sometimes even impregnating them so they have to rely on the abuser for financial support. It’s truly a calculated plan of “How can I make this person depend on me so that they can’t leave me?” It’s not just about hitting someone, it’s much more planned and deliberate than people realize.
PGN: And there’s the psychological-dependence and games as well. When I was a kid, my favorite aunt married an outwardly charming but abusive man. After years of abuse, she finally divorced him and was granted custody of their two kids and the car. When she went to pick up the car he kidnapped her, dragged her into the attic and ended up in a five-hour standoff with the police. It ended when he murdered her and killed himself, so I’m well aware that it’s no joke.
AC: Oh my God, that’s awful.
PGN: Yeah, it had a big impact on the whole family, especially the kids left behind. I was young so I don’t remember much. But back to you, what do you do now?
AC: I’m the admissions coordinator for the Center for Social Work Education at Widener University. I have a master’s in social work and I’m a licensed social worker but my focus in school was in macro social work and organizing so my job is perfect because I get to organize the next wave. I get to meet a lot of people who are interested in the field and help them navigate the process of getting into the program and beyond.
PGN: [Laughs] OK, why are so many lesbians drawn to social work? It seems half the women I know are either social workers or photographers/filmmakers!
AC: I know! Good question. I think we’re very empathetic and many of us have dealt with social issues ourselves so we want to make an impact on social justice. I guess that’s why we’re attracted to it.
PGN: Speaking of impact, the Dyke March has grown exponentially each year. How long has it been around?
AC: I think this is the 19th year. It’s my second as an organizer and I love it. But I’m going to have to step down after this year because I’m starting to work for my Ph.D. and something’s got to give. I’m going to miss it because it’s a great group of women — make that a great group of dykes — to work with. It’s frustrating and stressful and totally worth it. It’s a great event. Every year we say, in the words of Gloria Casarez, “This is the best one yet.”
PGN: Give me the Dyke March 101 for someone who’s never been.
AC: OK, in 1993 the Lesbian Avengers decided to sponsor a Dyke March the night before the national March on Washington for Gay and Lesbian Rights. More than 20,000 lesbians marched in that first Dyke March and soon after people started organizing marches in places like San Francisco and New York. Philadelphia was hit-and-miss until a local college student organized an annual march in 1998 and it’s been going strong ever since. It’s always the day before Pride. We found that often Pride weekend is a male-dominated space so this is our way of making ourselves visible, making ourselves heard and giving ourselves a physical space to exist. We literally take the streets of Philadelphia as we purposely do it without a permit. We want to make the point that we’re here and we’re going to take over and we don’t need anybody’s permission. You don’t have to identify as a dyke to march with us; everyone is welcome to march. Bring a drum, join the Dykes on Bikes or the Radical Cheerleaders, be a part of the movement!
PGN: In addition to the march, you will also have a number of performers on stage at the rally after the march. Can you tell me some of the people participating this year?
AC: Yes, though the march is open to all, the stage is reserved for dyke-identified people. We have singer-songwriters, spoken-word artists, dancers, we have some burlesque performers, there’s a lot going on!
PGN: I heard that Crystal Cheatham and Ashley Phillips will be performing. Woo hoo!
AC: Yes, there will be a nice variety of different people performing: Mr. Philly Drag King, who this year is Mo’ Betta, along with some of the other contestants from PDK, Chix Without Stix, DJ Kash, Lyfe dancers and a whole lot more.
PGN: What’s a favorite Dyke March moment for you?
AC: It’s when I see someone brand-new who’s never been at a march before. I love seeing the baby gays there, when it’s someone’s first time and you can tell they’re so excited to be there, to find a community that embraces them, a place where they can be themselves. Their excitement makes me happy.
PGN: It always gives me a chuckle that most of the people I know affiliated with the march are not folks I would think of when I hear the word “dyke.” You, Samantha Guisti, Kim Gana, Amber Hikes …
AC: I know, we get that a lot. For a lot of people, the word “dyke” typically has a butch or masculine-of-center image but for us we see it as an umbrella term for queer women, trans women, trans men who still consider themselves dykes … We welcome anyone who would claim the word for themselves and, for those who don’t identify with the term, we welcome you to come be a dyke for a day.
PGN: Cool. So, tell me a little about your partner and how you met.
AC: Her name is Mary and one of my favorite things about our relationship is that we met at Sisters. I’ll always have a place in my heart for Sisters because of it. It was on a Quizzo night and we ended up playing and talking and laughing for six hours. And now we’re getting married in October. The bartender on that first date, Ashley, is now our wedding planner and she’s even going to officiate the wedding!
PGN: Full circle! And now you’re going to have a blended family: the two of you, a cat, a dog and a snake. Who brought the snake into it?
AC: The snake, Indy, is Mary’s and it was almost a deal breaker for me, but now I’ve come to love him. He’s a Ball Python and he’s about 4- to 5-feet long.
PGN: What’s a fun fact about a family member?
AC: Well, I feel like my gay roots run deep because my parents’ first date was to see “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”
PGN: What movie could you watch over and over?
AC: Can I pick a TV show? It would be “The Office.” I must have watched it from beginning to end at least 10 times or more. I often have it on in the background when I’m writing or working. I love the dry comedy and social commentary. It’s my favorite show of all time.
PGN: My go-to karaoke song …
AC: It’s not so much my song, but my go-to karaoke partner is my best friend, Steve. We always have to do R&B duets, preferably from the ’90s or early 2000s, and we are absolutely horrible.
PGN: Oh, there’s no such thing as horrible karaoke if you’re having fun! If you could be a professional at any sport, what would it be? Why?
AC: Ha! As my friends know, I’m the least-athletic person on the planet, but I absolutely love games, and would love to be a professional poker player. I’m trying to have regular poker nights at my house, but everyone’s so busy!
PGN: Deal me in. I used to play with my grandparents when I was a kid. What’s the oldest piece of clothing you still own and wear?
AC: I still have a T-shirt from my church that I got when I was probably 13 that I still wear and love. Even though now I’m an atheist, I’m so appreciative of the community and support I had growing up in the Episcopal Church.
PGN: Describe the feeling you had when you attended your first Dyke March.
AC: The first time I attended Dyke March, I was blown away by the power I felt from all the women in the crowd. It felt like a space where we could be loud and unapologetic and radical, and I loved that so much. Still do.
The Dyke March begins at 3 p.m. June 11 at Kahn Park, 11th and Pine streets. For more information, visit www.phillydykemarch.com.
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