My 6-year-old son has two moms. For Mothers’ Day (and, yes, that’s where we put the apostrophe), he gave both my wife (a.k.a. “Mommy”) and me cards with “coupons” for things like “let the dogs owt” and “serv dinr.” At school, he drew both of our portraits and wrote a little essay about each of us. He wrote that I was “good at writing poetry” and that my wife’s favorite hobby is “worcing owt.”
In the morning, he made my wife breakfast (a cheese omelet, with a little help) and then in the evening he and my wife gave me a hot-stone calf and foot massage. He was disappointed that we ran out of time to paint Mommy’s nails.
This Mothers’ Day was especially meaningful because it’s the first one I’ve been able to celebrate as a legal parent. Antigay marriage and adoption discrimination made me a legal stranger to my son for more than five years of his life. Now my name is on his birth certificate and he has the protection of having two legal parents.
So when President Obama mentioned the existence of lesbian mothers — and even thanked us! — in his 2016 Mother’s Day Presidential Proclamation, that felt really good.
“Performing the most important work there is, mothers — biological, foster or adoptive — are our first role models and earliest motivators,” Obama wrote. “Regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or marital status, mothers have always moved our nation forward and remained steadfast in their pursuit of a better and brighter future for their children.”
Not everybody was pleased, however.
Dr. Michael Brown, right-wing radio host and author of books like “Outlasting the Gay Revolution,” wrote an opinion piece on BarbWire in which he lamented, “It’s a real shame that our president, rather than just making a positive statement about the importance of our mothers, chose to politicize the moment, putting his radical social agenda above the sacredness of motherhood.”
Yes, what a shame that Obama should acknowledge people like me as real mothers. As you can see by the examples at the beginning of this column, my wife and I are obviously raising our son to be an evil creep.
But as far as Brown sees it, we are terrible parents because neither one of us has a penis.
Mind you, he does say, “Without a doubt, there are single moms, adoptive moms and lesbian moms who are deeply devoted to their kids and are doing their utmost to be the best parents they can be.”
BUT … He goes on to say that these women are basically selfish bitches who never should have brought a child into this world without a man. Specifically without being married to a man.
He writes that it’s “sad” that “kids raised in a lesbian home will not be able to celebrate Father’s Day, and this by the choice of the moms.” Nope. That’s not sad. Kids who have abusive parents or who spend their lives tossed around in the foster-care system? That’s sad. Having two moms who love you is not sad.
He then goes on to give some anecdotes about some girls becoming man-hating lesbians just like their moms! And how kids raised by trans mothers are likely to be trans, too. He doesn’t provide any evidence, because he doesn’t have to. It’s what his audience wants to hear, after all. Never mind that the majority of LGBT people were raised by heterosexual parents.
Not all mothers live up to Obama’s proclamation. Some mothers are terrible. Raising kids is a really hard job that demands everything of you. I am proud to be my son’s mom, and I don’t need Brown’s approval to celebrate Mothers’ Day, damn it.