When Montré Burton married his husband in the fall on the WE tv reality show “David Tutera’s CELEBrations,” he turned to Tutera, his friend and boss, to help him with the big day.
“Consistently, two words were used: journey and village,” Tutera, a celebrity wedding planner, told PGN. “When I heard journey and village, I realized that, because it was a strong component of them as a couple, I wanted the guests to feel like they were on a journey.”
Tutera created an experience that started with cocktails at a vineyard, followed by dinner and then the actual marriage ceremony. A party capped the evening.
“At the end, we surrounded them with their village [of friends and family] by candlelight,” Tutera said. “It’s really unique for any couple.”
Tutera was in Philadelphia Feb. 28 for Your Wedding Experience, a live wedding event he hosts around the country. The event was last in Philadelphia in September and will return to the Pennsylvania Convention Center Aug. 28.
Set new traditions
He sat down with PGN before the show floor opened, covering everything from fashion to vendor choices. Local wedding professionals at the event also shared tips for same-sex couples planning their ceremonies.
“Whatever I tell a straight couple or a gay couple, it’s going to be the same information,” Tutera said. “You still need the same pieces. It’s just a matter of figuring out how you feel comfortable with the formalities.”
Since the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality last year, Tutera said he hasn’t seen an influx of same-sex couples seeking out wedding-planning services. But he thinks that’s due to the fact that many same-sex couples are still figuring out what they want out of a wedding and what marriage means to them.
“They don’t really have any guidelines,” Tutera said. “They’re unsure if they should be following the traditions of what’s been done. I’m hoping they set new traditions. It’s a great moment for people to create trends and create uniqueness.”
Tutera said the wedding wardrobe is a great way for same-sex couples to make a statement, adding that soft lavenders and rose pinks are becoming popular in dresses while tuxedos feature more details and accessories.
“I think that’s the one thing where we do break all the rules,” Tutera said. “Do two women wear two dresses? Does one woman wear something of a sexy tuxedo? Do two guys wear the exact same tuxedo or different suits that have a little bit of each person’s personality in the other?
“It could be a statement that goes from same-sex couples and then becomes trend forward to heterosexual couples,” he added.
Whatever choices a couple makes, Tutera said, they should capture something specific about the relationship. He also advised couples to listen closely to each other and not to make decisions under pressure.
When it comes to vendors like cake bakers, photographers and designers, Tutera said trust is as important as the quality of the product.
“I always say, you’ve picked your significant other to walk down the aisle with,” he said. “Your vendors have to be somewhat like your relationship for a short period of time.”
On the show floor
On the show floor, about 100 vendors from the Main Line to Miami catered to over 2,000 people from engaged couples and their families to wedding planners.
Netesha Herbert from Desserts by Dana, with stores in Philadelphia and Delaware, said the shop creates custom fondant cakes and boasts 47 flavors. Many same-sex couples request “statement cakes” that have an unusual design or color scheme, she said. Herbert added Desserts by Dana has baked a number of cakes that, when sliced, reveal layers in the colors of the rainbow.
Rustic and romantic floral arrangements are popular at OffShoots, a floral design company in Manayunk, said Alnardo Albino. He said that often entails pale pinks and lavenders with wheat or lanterns to offset the flowers.
Krystyne Levey recently started working at L&H Bridal in Philadelphia. She comes armed with experience from New York, where she had worked with some same-sex couples. She remembered two men from Ireland who wore tuxes and tails with sashes that highlighted each of the regions they were from. She also worked with two women who shopped for their dresses together and helped each other choose.
“It’s best to keep an open mind, try things on that are going to complement each other and listen to your partner,” Levey said, adding the main thing for her is to listen to what the couple wants.
Another L&H location will open in Doylestown in mid-March, Levey said.
Hilary Lanzer, managing partner from Ask Me Destination Weddings in Miami, said her company can advise same-sex couples about the local laws and attitudes surrounding marriage equality in different countries before they book their wedding or honeymoon.
Ask Me specializes in trips to Mexico and the Caribbean.
“There might be countries that consider it still illegal, but specific resorts will say, ‘Yes, come on down, we’re LGBT-friendly,’” Lanzer said.
She said same-sex couples can get married without restriction in the Riviera Maya area on the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico. Symbolic ceremonies can take place in the Dominican Republic and in many northern resorts on St. Lucia, but couples should make sure to get legally married at home first.
Tutera said he hoped people would use the show to learn more about what they want for their weddings.
“This is a high-end show,” he told industry insiders at the start of the event, “but with affordable vendors and experiences that allow the consumers to leave going, ‘This was a day deserved to be here with my family, with my bridal party, with my mom or dad,’ where they walk away learning, enjoying and experiencing.”
For more information and future exhibition dates, visit www.yourweddingexperience.com.
