This season is a big drag … as in big, fabulous drag!
The fun starts Dec. 5 with GayBINGO! and its Fabulous BINGO Verifying Divas, and ends with Brittany Lynn and her Drag Mafia leading the Mummers Parade to start the New Year. We caught up with Morrison between shows to learn about the man under the wig and his talented alter ego.
PGN: So do you and Brittany come from Philadelphia?
IM: Yes, the Northeast. I’ve been in South Philly since I was 18. I moved right into town the second I could.
PGN: A few words about the family?
IM: My mom’s Italian-Catholic and my Dad’s British-Lithuanian-Jewish, so she went from Ottaviano to Goldstein and I went to Catholic school and Hebrew school. They divorced when I was about 4 and I have one brother and a half-sister from when my mother remarried; her name is Brittany Lynn. That’s where I got the name.
PGN: What did you want to be when you grew up?
IM: I wanted to be an actor, singer, model, dancer. I started trying out for shows at school when I was in the first grade; I started singing solos when I was 6.
PGN: Do you remember your first show?
IM: In first grade, I was already about 5-feet tall so I played the bear in “The Jungle Book” and sang “The Bear Necessities.” My first paid gig was at the TLA on South Street; I played Frankenfurter in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” And I did children’s theater all through junior and high school in the Northeast.
PGN: What did the folks do?
IM: My father was a VIP for Window Wizards; he retired and told me he was going to become an actor. I was like, “OK, sure.” He was about 61 at the time and he got in with Heery Casting. He’s now been on a million TV shows and several movies, from “Blue Bloods” to “Men in Black 3.” He’s played an Indian, a pilgrim, a judge — you name it. He’s got a SAG card now and works more as an actor than I do. And we have good genes so he can play from 45-75. I see him on TV all the time. My mom’s semi-retired but she always did accounting, which is funny because I suck at math.
PGN: What was an early sign you were gay?
IM: We grew up in Parkwood in the ’70s. I remember one night my babysitter couldn’t come so she sent her boyfriend, who had long, feathered hair like Keith Partridge and I fell head over heels for him. Back then, “Happy Days” was the hot TV show and I remember thinking Anson Williams, who played Potsie, was the hottest thing. I knew as early as 4, when I was into Aquaman! Some people ask if it’s genetic or your surroundings; well, there was nothing gay surrounding me in Parkwood! It’s definitely innate. When I was 12, I was at a football party up the street with my dad. I was wearing a Sergio Valente shirt with my Jordache jeans, comb in the back pocket with feathered hair. I was 13, about to have my bar mitzvah, so I asked if I could have a beer. This woman overheard and said, “Excuse me, did you say bar mitzvah? We all thought you were a pretty girl!” Right in front of all my dad’s football friends!
PGN: Oy vey! When did you come out?
IM: I came out to my friends when I was 18. I was going to Temple and was president of the Lambda Alliance. I was scared to death to join but I needed to find some gay people. It’s funny, I was living in the Gayborhood and didn’t know it. Never noticed a single gay person or paper. So I joined the Temple group and they needed a leader so, in typical fashion for me, I stepped up even though I knew nothing about the gay community. I’m a dominant Pisces! But I felt like, if I was going to represent my people, I needed to come clean with my family. I always brought guys home for Christmas but no one ever questioned it. So when my mom picked me up from school, as we were in the car stuck in holiday traffic around City Hall, I told her that I was president of the Lambda club and told her what it meant. She just said OK. Three years later, I had to show her pictures of me in drag and that was a whole other story! I actually wrote a letter to my dad — we didn’t have cell phones at that time or I might have texted him! He was fine and a few years later, when I became Brittany Lynn, he gave me a closet in his house for all her clothes. He comes to all my shows and all the girls know him. He’s become a little celebrity in the Gayborhood; all the security and bar people know him. They have a daddy thing for my dad, which is funny.
PGN: What was the first gay club you ever went to?
IM: Hepburns. I remember there was a popcorn machine and fighting lesbians. [Laughs] Some of the kids from my student group tried to get me to go to The Bike Stop but I wasn’t ready to jump in like that. My weekends were mainly spent doing the Rocky Horror Show, and there were so many gay people there, I didn’t have the time or need to go clubbing. Then someone took me to Woody’s on a Wednesday, underage night. It was like the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog came to life! I think the kids out today aren’t the boyish jocks they were back then. Now everyone is more gender-fluid. Ha! I sound like my dad: “Back when men were men.” My hair used to be down to my shoulders but once they brought me there, I got a haircut, contacts and got myself into shape.
PGN: I read you described yourself as having a build like a linebacker with a voice like Mariah Carey.
IM: [Laughs] My voice didn’t change until I was 23 or 24 so I was able to sing a high falsetto. In high school I sang with the sopranos but then like an idiot I started smoking when I was on tour. I can still sing falsetto — I do Barbra Streisand and Julie Andrews in my show. I think it’s some genetic mutation that allows me to sing and hit all those high notes.
PGN: What was your favorite toy as a kid?
IM: I grew up at a perfect time: the ’70s into ’80s when you had Star Wars, He-Man and all the big collectible toys at the same time. He-Man came with these female characters like She-Ra and I collected them all. I also had Wonder Woman, the Bionic Man and the Bionic Woman.
PGN: Lindsay Wagner! I think she solidified the fact that I was a lesbian.
IM: Oh yeah! Love her. I think I had a crush on her too and Jodie Foster, until I found out that she was a girl! I’m a big nerd: I go to ComicCon and all those festivals.
PGN: What did you study at Temple?
IM: JPRA: journalism, PR and advertising. I interned for Patti Tihey at PGN and became the associate editor for a few years. I did a column called The Buzz, obituaries and short stories. That woman drilled me! I hated it at first but grew to love it. Though I still have nightmares about using the Quark editing system. After PGN, I got a job with Gay Live, which was a phone-sex line. Back then, there was no Internet so we used chat lines. They were looking for someone to do their PR. I was 22 and they gave me an expense account and put me in charge of seven cities. My job was to hire boy models and throw parties and they flew me from city to city to meet with top promoters. I could write several books about what I saw and got to do in my 20s. It was great fun but also a lot of responsibility and work. After a while I burned out. Brittany was still thriving and paying the bills so I decided to focus on that and also became a bartender.
PGN: Best or worst moment on stage?
IM: Best? I got to open up for Sandra Bernhard as Brittany Lynn. Worst, in 1993 I had a little crappy studio apartment that my parents paid for, $300 a month (which shows you how long ago it was). But I wanted to make my own money. I got to play Alice in drag in the live-theater version of “The Brady Bunch,” which paid $15 a show. I was in school and, in typical starving-artist fashion, I was waiting tables at TGIFriday’s. Anne B. Davis, who was the original Alice, was in town doing “Funny Girl” at the Forrest Theatre. One day I went to work and my manager said, “I have a special guest in your station” and it was her. Oh my God! She was staying at the attached hotel and ordered the same thing every day: filet medallions and a cup of merlot. The first time, I told her that I was a big fan and had studied her work. I said, “I’m almost embarrassed to tell you but I’m performing in ‘The Brady Bunch’ show right now.” She asked me who I played and I told her. I pulled out the playbook and asked if she’d autograph it. Her face just dropped and she said, all offended, “You’re playing me? In drag?” Turns out she was a born-again Christian and was not amused. She asked me, “Does [show creator] Sherwood Schwartz know you’re doing this?” I felt like, I’m just an actor getting $15 you old bag, get lost. That Sunday I went in and the cast was sitting around looking grim. It turns out we didn’t have permission and we’d received a cease-and-desist letter from Sherwood Schwartz. [Laughs] In some ways that was cool — having a personal letter from the guy who created “The Brady Bunch” — but it was a bummer because the show had just caught on and was getting full houses. I had my heart in it and she shut us down. When she showed up to eat that night, we did things to her food … I took the grossest, most disgusting, off-the-floor breadstick and shoved it down my pants. I walked around with it and it was all over the place down there. I popped it in the microwave and served it to her as the whole staff looked and laughed. Tip: Never mess with the people who serve your food! [Laughs] I also met Steve Guttenberg and told him that I jerked off while watching him in “Cocoon.” I meet a lot of B- and C-list celebrities.
PGN: One of whom was Dennis Rodman …
IM: Yes, I was asked to be his bodyguard as Brittany in a Superwoman costume and got to hang out with him and porn vixen Jenna Jameson for two days. It was insane.
PGN: Were those the drug days?
IM: It’s funny: As Ian, I don’t drink, but Brittany can party. It’s a weird dichotomy. When I first started doing drag, the older ladies like Sandy Beach, my drag mother, introduced me to liquor. I’d started doing Rocky Horror at TLA, which was owned by Electric Factory, and they had anything any rock band might want backstage in the dressing rooms. I tried everything in one summer: acid, mushrooms, pot, hash, cocaine. I can’t imagine it now! But back then, when we were working the clubs on Delaware Avenue, they’d give out pay envelopes with hits of ecstasy and other drugs in them, just because. But no matter how messed up I was, my brain wouldn’t allow me to make stupid mistakes. For all the things I could have, should have, I always played safe and was either in a monogamous relationship or celibate.
PGN: One of your hallmarks as Brittany is that you sing live.
IM: Yes, I learned from the old girls, some of the great ones. I’d go to see their shows in New York and not only were they funny, they sang live, and Philly didn’t have that. People lip-synched, so they had to wait for Whitney to make a song and then they’d fight over who got to do it. I wanted to be a comic, but they wouldn’t let me do it as Ian — but the moment I put on that dress, I was in. Singing and doing comedy was what distinguished me from the others; still does.
PGN: Last time you kissed under the mistletoe?
IM: Ha. I think I kissed my good girlfriend Jim Kenney on the cheek at Mark Segal’s Christmas party last year.
PGN: Who would you contact at a séance?
IM: When Phyllis Diller was here for Pride, I got to interview her. It was one of my greatest moments ever. She was so sweet. She told me I was great and told me if I ever had any problems to call her agent, Bert something. She’s since passed away and I’d love to speak to her again. She was a hoot.
PGN: Ever been in jail, even as a visitor?
IM: No, I really am a goody two shoes. Despite all the drugs that have passed through my hands!
PGN: Most unusual possession?
IM: Position? Oh, possession. For my 40th birthday I did a show at Pro Bar in Atlantic City. Councilman Squilla, Jim Kenney and Scott Brown got together with Jim Julia, president of the Mummers, and they surprised me with a citation from the city. I was in tears. A gay drag queen being honored by the city! If I could carry it around with me all day I would. I have it framed like wall art in my bedroom. It’s my most treasured possession.
PGN: Tell me about the Mummers Parade.
IM: In 2012, we had a big meeting to build more inclusion in the Mummers Day Parade. They wanted the community involved and approached me about having a drag brigade. I gathered 10 of my girlfriends and we represented. We got to march at the Convention Center in between the Fancy Brigades. However, they didn’t know what to do with us. In the two minutes while they were cleaning up between the huge Fancy Brigade numbers, one of us came out alone and did a short song. It was the proudest and most uncomfortable moment at once! But it was a first step. The next year they let me co-host on Channel 17 … me, the hot weather guy, Adam [Joseph], Miss Philadelphia and Tony Luke. Go figure. This year, we’re marching at the very front of the parade. [Laughs] It’s early and not many people are up but what a great feeling to have a bunch of drag queens lead the parade — which is the nation’s second-oldest tradition — and feel so welcomed. The first year, we all thought we’d get shot, but now we take pictures with babies and old ladies, policemen … other Mummers leave their areas to come take photos with us and the club houses have really taken us under their wings. I’ve formed a committee with Michael Byrne of GayBINGO! and it’s expanded. It’s pretty incredible, all these old South Philly codgers hanging out with gay and trans men and women. What a great way to start the year.
For more information about Brittany Lynn and the Drag Mafia, visit http://phillydragmafia.com/brittany-lynn/.
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