Dear LGBT community,
This is a cease-and-desist letter regarding the accusation that Ben Carson is a homophobe. Stop such hurtful name-calling at once. Carson declared himself Officially Not Homophobic during the Oct. 28 Republican Bitchfest Debate.
When asked about his views about LGBT people, he declared, “I believe our Constitution protects everybody regardless of their sexual orientation or any other aspect. I also believe marriage is between one man and one woman. There is no reason you can’t be perfectly fair to the gay community.”
See? His views are “perfectly fair”! He said so himself.
Now, you might point out that denying lesbians and gays the right to marry isn’t exactly “fair” and has been declared unconstitutional by the United States Supreme Court. You also might ask, if the Constitution supposedly “protects everybody,” why there are so many states where you can be fired for being LGBT or even if you are just perceived to be LGBT.
To that I say: He was a neurosurgeon, you guys. Have you ever successfully separated conjoined twins? I didn’t think so. So stop it with your judging.
Carson continued, “They shouldn’t automatically assume that, because you believe that marriage is between one man and one woman, you are a homophobe.”
Yeah. “They” (aka “you”) shouldn’t be calling names and making assumptions.
“This is one of the myths that the left perpetrates on our society and this is how they frighten people and get people to shut up,” Carson continued. “That’s what the PC culture is all about and it’s destroying this nation.”
OMG! Quit destroying the nation, you guys! And stop being so scary with your demand for equality. And stop telling people to shut up, because that’s not nice. And get a Mac. Enough with this PC bullshit. Windows is the worst. Remember Clippy from Microsoft Office? Yeah, well, so does Ben Carson. Never forget.
In order to clear Carson’s name, we need to ask ourselves just what is a homophobe anyway? So let’s look at some hypothetical things a homophobe would do:
A homophobe would claim that being gay is a choice, and a bad one at that.
A homophobe would claim that people become gay after being in prison because of rape and stuff.
A homophobe would compare lesbians and gays to pedophiles and people who are into bestiality.
A homophobe would happily align himself with the desperately clinging-to-hate group National Organization for Marriage. A homophobe would even sign their pledge “to take several specific actions as president to restore marriage to the law and protect people of faith from discrimination because of their support for traditional marriage.” In other words, to support a federal amendment to the Constitution stripping gays and lesbians of their right to marry.
A homophobe would look at Kentucky clerk Kim Davis and be all, “You go, girl. Rock on with your Judeo-Christian self.”
A homophobe would say that any federal judge who rules in favor of marriage equality should be forcibly removed by Congress.
A homophobe would declare that Congress should try to find some workaround to get out of having to follow the Supreme Court’s decision that antigay-marriage laws are unconstitutional.
See? These are totally homophobe moves and if we look at Carson’s record, we see … Wait a minute…
Well, I’ll be. Those supposed hypotheticals are all things that Carson himself has said and done.
Conclusion: Carson is a homophobe after all. Feel free to continue calling him one loudly and often.