Republican Michigan state Reps. Todd Courser and Cindy Gamrat, two of the most right-wing and extreme members of the legislature, have been doing it for quite some time now.
Not surprisingly, Courser and Gamrat really didn’t want their affair revealed. Both are married (not to each other, duh) and both have multiple kids. But these things have a way of refusing to remain hidden.
And so, on the day his affair was revealed, Courser lamented, “It’s a crushing day for those who believe in traditional marriage and traditional morality.”
Just kidding. That’s what he said after the Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality, while Courser was defending traditional marriage with his penis.
Now, rumors about the affair had been swirling for months. Political sex scandals are a dime a dozen these days, but what makes this one interesting is that Courser and Gamrat are conservative Christians who seem to think they are holier than thou.
Oh, and the gay sex Courser paid for “behind a Lansing nightclub!”
Except that never happened. Courser just wanted people to think it had.
Back in May, an anonymous email making all sorts of colorful allegations against Courser was sent to Republicans across Lansing.
“He is a bisexual porn addicted sex deviant!” the email reads. “He is a gun-toting, Bible-thumping cock-sucking freak! His whole [personality] is a sham!”
The entire email is riddled with typos and grammar errors. It’s the kind of thing that even your most insane right-wing uncle wouldn’t forward.
Courser has now admitted to sending the email out in order to cover up the news about his affair.
“My actions in and around these events and the email that was sent to misdirect attention were my doing both in planning and execution,” he said in a statement on his website.
See, the accusations in the email are so ghastly that an affair with a female colleague seems tame by comparison. And, of course, what could be more terrible than being gay or bisexual?
Even Courser admits that it was a bad idea.
“I was running on no sleep for days and no food and was simply on auto pilot” when he released the email, he says. Sounds a lot like the “Twinkie Defense.”
Granted, Courser’s email blast might seem to many like a very immature, and totally crazy, way to avoid taking personal responsibility for his actions. And that’s exactly what it was revealed to be during a taped conversation Courser had with an aide, during which Courser spilled the beans about the plan and wanted the aide to send out the email. And the aide was all, “Bro, that’s crazy,” and Courser was like, “Just do it,” apparently unconcerned that asking his aide to take a fake sick day to send out fake incriminating spam email is spending taxpayer money for such a thing. Which is illegal.
But the aide wouldn’t. And instead he handed over the recordings he made to The Detroit News and now Courser and Gamrat are back in the spotlight, both under investigation and hopefully about to lose their jobs.
Courser has apologized and admitted to the affair, but claims the email was a very clever and calculated move to deal with some anonymous figure or figures trying to blackmail him to get him to resign. In other news, Courser is a very big fan of “Spy vs. Spy.”
To borrow from a sage’s own words, “It’s a crushing day for those who believe in Courser’s bullshit.”