Danny Tolan’s family says he lived more in his 23 years than most people do in a lifetime.
“There was never a moment he wasn’t cracking jokes,” said his sister, Shannon Tolan. “Anyone around him was constantly laughing.”
Tolan, a native and resident of Mayfair in Northeast Philadelphia, died March 10. He attended St. Matthew’s for grade school and Father Judge High School and went on to study fashion merchandising at Philadelphia University.
Tolan had recently re-enrolled in online classes and was a few credits away from earning his associate’s degree. Shannon said he planned to pursue training as a physical-therapist assistant.
He worked full-time as the activities coordinator at Holy Redeemer St. Joseph Manor, a personal-care and long-term facility for older adults.
“I was actually working there as an activities assistant, and he was looking for a job and I told him about an open position. He applied and started working on the same unit as me,” Shannon said. “We worked together for a couple of years and then I graduated school for recreation therapy and he got promoted and stayed. He thought it was a fun job and it matched his personality. He got to go to work and have fun and make people happy. That was perfect for him.”
Shannon said her brother’s good nature followed him out of work.
“He never took life too seriously. He was always being sarcastic or ridiculous,” Shannon said. “There was never a dull moment.”
When they were kids, Tolan said she and her brother, the youngest of three, would play dress-up, an early indicator of his interest in fashion.
“He just loved fashion,” Shannon said. “He would get the nicest sunglasses, scarves, clothing. He always looked put together, no matter where he was going. The sidewalk was his runway.”
Music was another primary passion. He attended music festivals throughout the area, posting a photo from an Arcade Fire concert on his Facebook page just a few days before his passing.
Shannon said her brother wasn’t much into sports, but ran track and field as a child and also spent time as a cheerleader. He later helped coach a kids’ cheerleading squad.
She said his coming-out was a relatively easy process.
“We always kind of knew, from the time he could walk and talk,” she laughed. “It was just a matter of him coming to us, and he felt very comfortable doing that. We were very supportive and open.”
At his all-boys’ high school, however, he did encounter bullying.
“School was hard for him,” Shannon said. “He got picked on and teased. But we all loved him for exactly who he was and always had his back. And he knew that.”
Recently, Tolan had struggled with drug addiction, and died of an overdose.
In his eulogy, Shannon and brother Eddie urged others experiencing similar challenges to seek help.
“Danny struggled with a disease, a disease that eventually took his life way too soon. Addiction is an evil thing, blind to race, gender or age,” they said. “It can destroy lives, regardless of how much the person is loved or how many people are there willing to offer support. I like to think that Danny didn’t lose the battle, he died fighting. If one good thing can come out of this horrible tragedy, I hope that people who may be struggling can use Danny’s story to find the help that they need.”
Tolan is survived by Shannon and her fiancée, Greg; brother Eddie and wife Jennifer; mother Eileen; father Edward; grandmother Frances; niece Makenna; and a wide circle of family members and friends.
A funeral Mass was held March 14. Contributions can be made in Tolan’s name to the Joey F. Casey Memorial Foundation, 8121 Cresco Ave., Philadelphia, Pa. 19136.
