Patrick Crofton and Robert Sampson’s love story has gone from South Africa to New York City to New Hope and, now, to Philadelphia.
The couple, together for more than 33 years, was married Jan. 16 at City Hall by Mayor Michael Nutter.
They met in 1981, after both went to the movies with separate groups of friends, saw each other across the lobby and struck up conversation outside the theater.
At the time, Crofton, a native of South Africa who grew up in Cape Town, was on vacation in America. Upon his return home, the two maintained a long-distance relationship before Crofton could move to the United States in 1982.
“That was back in days where you had to write letters, and long-distance phone calls were too expensive, pre-Skype,” he said. “So we have a nice bundle of letters from that period that we saved.”
Crofton, 64, worked as a makeup artist and Sampson, 71, a native of the Bronx, as an accountant and later a comptroller.
While the world was very different in terms of LGBT acceptance three decades ago, the couple said they never faced much homophobia. But, they began their relationship as the HIV/AIDS crisis began to take shape, to which they lost many of their friends.
“I’m glad we met before the AIDS crisis really peaked because it was a comfort to have someone to go home to when the world around us was changing. It was pretty scary,” said Crofton, who used to volunteer at the Gay Men’s Health Crisis in New York, teaching makeup lessons to help men cover the lesions that were associated with the disease. “I saw a lot of it, fairly up close.”
After many years in New York, the couple bought a home in New Hope and often commuted to the city but, in 2007, decided to follow their joint passion for painting and move to Philadelphia to both study at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Art.
They live in Academy House, right near the epicenter of Philadelphia’s arts and cultural scene.
“If we want to see an opera, a ballet, we don’t even need to cross the street,” Crofton said. “We could find our way there in a blizzard.”
The couple said their shared interests in art, history, travel and archeology have been able to blossom since they moved to Philadelphia.
“When we lived in New York, there was no time for theater; I worked late hours and Patrick was often traveling,” Sampson said. “Now that we’re in Philadelphia, we can do so much more.”
The couple shares a studio on Spring Garden Street where they paint, and exhibit their work in an Old City gallery.
They said that, when the opportunity to marry became available in the state last spring, they knew, as they approach their later years, they wanted to take advantage.
“We realized that at this point in our lives we needed that security,” Crofton said. “I’m sure there are tons of totally romantic stories but, the reality is, at our age that you do need to make plans.”
While their approach was pragmatic, the emotion of the wedding itself surprised them.
“I was unexpectedly moved,” Crofton said. The couple knows Nutter through friends and he offered to officiate when his schedule allowed; they said they didn’t have a specific date in mind, so they waited until the timing worked for the mayor. “His office called and said, ‘Come on down,’ and we had some friends who were ready and waiting. It was small and intimate and terrific. It was the standard ceremony but was tweaked to be made much more personal; I was choking up a bit.”
Sampson said the response has also been overwhelming.
He recently found cousins of his in Ireland that he and Crofton have become close with, and received a wedding card from a cousin in her 80s.
“I was very moved by that, especially from someone of that generation,” he said. “It does feel different now to be married, in very subtle ways. It feels legitimate.”