And the marriage movement continues!
Just this week, a federal court judge ordered Nebraska to lift its ban on same-sex marriage, calling it “unabashedly gender-specific infringement of the equal rights of its citizens.” Nebraska state officials immediately appealed the ruling to the Eighth Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals. Unless the court issues a stay, beginning March 9, Nebraska must “treat same-sex couples the same as different-sex couples” when it comes to marriage rights! As the dominoes fall in favor of same-sex marriage, the question now seems to be, How will those who oppose LGBT equality respond?
From the looks of it over the last month, they are responding like frustrated 5-year-olds. As more states are overturning marriage bans, we are seeing several different and unique fronts in the wedding war.
The first new front on the war against marriage equality is at the ground level — civil servants who issue licenses battling the citizens in their states who want and are entitled to them under the law. Coming to the rescue of the foot soldiers battling marriage equality are their politicians. Republican state legislators in Oklahoma, South Carolina, Utah, North Carolina and Texas (and several more states shortly) have introduced bills that would actually prohibit state or local government employees from issuing marriage licenses to gay couples. The bills would also go so far as to strip the salaries of employees who follow the law and their oath as civil servants and issue the licenses. A second set of bills (in case the first doesn’t pass) would give some government employees the ability to opt out of issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples if they objected on the basis of a “sincerely held religious belief.”
That’s right, we live in a country where politicians are proposing bills stating that you could lose your job or go unpaid if you follow the law!
With that said, even in conservative-dominated statehouses, the chances of the bills actually passing are slight, given disagreements within the Republican Party on whether they should keep same-sex marriage as a priority issue. Plus, legal scholars contend that most, but potentially not all, of the state bills are unconstitutional. With that said, in my opinion, it’s a tragic foreshadowing of the kinds of fights that may continue even after (or if) the United States Supreme Court rules that bans against same-sex marriages are unconstitutional in all 50 states.
The second new front on the war against marriage equality is quite drastic: Republican lawmakers in Oklahoma are proposing bills to make marriage illegal in the state for everyone. That’s right — if they can’t win by banning same-sex marriages, they’ll ban all marriages!
Pursuant to the legislation, religious officials would sign a couple’s marriage certificate, which would then be filed with the state clerk. If a couple did not have a religious ceremony, they could file an affidavit of common-law marriage and, ultimately, the need for marriage licenses at all would become a thing of the past.
The idea was copied from a Utah county official after a federal judge invalidated that state’s same-sex marriage law. But more scarily, it mirrors tactics used in the Jim Crow South to resist desegregation in schools after Brown v. Board of Education. As part of a “massive-resistance” campaign, the Virginia legislature ordered the closure of schools subject to a desegregation order. When that tactic was invalidated by courts, one county just shut down its public-school system entirely from 1959-64. And similarly, after a federal judge invalidated Utah’s same-sex marriage ban, one county in Utah closed its clerk’s office, meaning no one could obtain a marriage license.
Lastly, and probably my favorite tactic employed thus far, is an Idaho county’s attempt to be declared a Christian state. Members of a county Republican Party are voting on a measure that would declare Idaho a Christian state and, further, the “Judeo-Christian bedrock of the founding of the United States.” The resolution to be voted on by the Kootenai County Republican Central Committee is non-binding, meaning it would not have the effect of law but, if approved, it would be submitted to the state Republican Party for a vote by its members, which if approved, would be binding.
Bjorn Handeen, a committee member who opposes the measure and describes himself as a Republican with libertarian leanings, said he is opposed to any document that puts the government in charge of defining Christianity. Shocking! It sounds like Handeen is in favor of the separation of church and state!
And so, the war wages on. There are only 12 states left to conquer before we have full marriage equality in the United States and, regardless of how it comes about, trust that it will happen. With that said, the day we win marriage equality is the day the war will take on a new form. Roe v. Wade did not end the fight against a woman’s right to choose and the Civil Rights Act did not end racism. I always caution my clients, full equality does not equal full acceptance. While the legal wars are important, the real war that needs to be won is overcoming homophobia at its roots, addressing the fears people have that lead to the hatred that fuels the behavior we’re witnessing across the United States.
In that same vein, I’ll end with one of my favorite quotes from “Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue, Vol. 1,” by Neale Donald Walsch; “[A]ll human actions are motivated at their deepest level by two emotions — fear or love. Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked. Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that we have away. Fear holds close, love holds dear. Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes. Fear attacks, love amends.”