Among the unique elements at Heidi Schifferli and Dora Ficher’s wedding this spring will be what they’ve termed the “Sisterhood of the Traveling Huppah” — a handmade, tie-dyed huppah made by a friend that has been passed among their lesbian friends who have married in the past few months.
“I can’t remember who came up with the phrase,” laughed Schifferli. “But it’s going to be perfect for our fun, funky wedding.”
The four posts of the huppah will be held by Schifferli’s daughter and her husband and Ficher’s son and his wife. Their 19-month-old grandson will serve as ringbearer for the April 26 ceremony at Material Culture in East Falls.
The Center City couple has been together 23 years. They met when Schifferli was teaching at Plymouth Meeting Friends School and Ficher’s son was assigned to her class.
“We became friends when my son was in her class, and we began doing things together and with other teachers, going to the shore on the weekends and going on trips,” Ficher said. “We just became very good friends and it turned into more than friendship. We were both married to men before, and I always told my son, ‘You don’t fall in love with a man or woman, you fall in love with the person.’ And we fell in love.’”
Schifferli, 67, hails from Buffalo, N.Y., and moved to the area in the early 1980s. Ficher, 63, is originally from Argentina and moved to Philadelphia with her family in the 1960s before leaving for St. Louis and returning here in 1977.
Ficher’s son was 8 and Schifferli’s daughter 10 when they became a couple.
“Our children got along beautifully,” Schifferli said. “There were the inevitable conflicts of course, but it was pretty smooth sailing.”
Ficher also later became a teacher at the school. The couple retired from teaching several years ago and now share an art studio, and Ficher runs a summer camp for children.
While they share many interests, Schifferli said their differences complement one another.
“She’s very outgoing, sort of willing to try everything, be part of the action all the time,” she said. “That’s the antithesis of my behavior; I’m more introspective and like to sort of stand back more. She brought me out. I’d probably be a recluse without her!”
“She’s not as crazy as I am,” laughed Ficher. “She’s a lot calmer. But she’s incredibly creative and talented. She works with yarn and fabric and we share the studio and have a lot of fun. She’s very supportive of any crazy thing I want to do. She’s always willing to do new things — maybe not try a lot of new foods — but she goes along with things most of the time. We just have fun together.”
The women said that, once Pennsylvania legalized same-sex marriage, they decided it would be natural for them to tie the knot.
“It just sort of seemed like the next step, inevitable,” said Schifferli. “One by one, our friends have been getting married so we decided, Hey, let’s do this.”
The couple said the space is perfect for them.
“Material Culture is one of our favorite, favorite places. The minute we heard they opened a café that could be used for a venue, I said to Dora, ‘We have to do it there,’” Schifferli said. “They have oriental rugs, Asian antiques, and you have no idea what furniture will be there depending on what they sell; it’s just a visual paradise.”
The couple will leave the day after the wedding for a Viking River Cruise of Paris, Germany and Prague.
While LGBT acceptance is quickly evolving, Ficher said the best way to find happiness as a couple is to first attain it as individuals.
“You have to be who you are, don’t worry about what people think,” she said. “You have to think with your heart, feel with your heart and do what you feel is right for you.”