Every single day in the United States, two to five LGBTQ youth commit suicide. That’s around 1,000 youth per year. If you think that’s too much, so does this week’s Portrait, Pandora Scooter.
Scooter is a nationally known performer whose talents include everything from stand-up comedy to hip-hop to folk poetry to performance art. The spoken-word rock star has toured all over the country and annually hosts and curates a show at New Jersey Performing Arts Center called “Out, Loud and Proud.” Hailed by nytheatre.com as a “masterful entertainer” and by Out in Jersey as “a force of nature,” Scooter uses her powers and words for good, spreading her message of peace and compassion with a sprinkle of whimsy and a cup of truth.
PGN: OK, you know I have to start with the name. Explain.
PS: It’s been my name my whole life. My parents were very creative. The story goes that they felt the name Pandora was very meaningful because it stands for “all gifted” and “all giver.” It also forced me to be a feminist because I had to take back all of the bad thoughts people have about Pandora for opening the box and destroying the world.
PGN: Oh, that little thing, destroying the world. Some people just want to hold a grudge.
PS: [Laughs] Yes, that little thing. And Scooter, I’m a triple air sign so I have all air in my charts and when I was little they always saw me scooting around from this place to that, so they thought that Scooter would be a good last name for me. They didn’t want to give down their names to me so Scooter just kind of happened. They wouldn’t admit it but they created a whole identity for me that was unique to me.
PGN: They sound like an interesting pair. Tell me about them.
PS: My father is a historian of contemporary astronomy and my mother was a manager at the Washington Post for a long while. He’s also a guitar player and she’s a violinist. Her other passion is playing with Legos. She’s very passionate about it and goes to the conventions and everything. She organizes a lot of the ones that happen in the D.C. area.
PGN: You just mentioned that you were a feminist, but I read somewhere that you considered yourself more of a humanist than a feminist.
PS: Yeah, in this time of my life I do think of myself more as a humanist, but as I was growing up in my 20s into my 30s I definitely felt like more of a feminist. I was the producer of an all-women’s playwriting series and was very active in different women’s-rights causes, defending the right to choose, etc., and was very vocal about things like that. Now I think I’ve moved into a phase where I’m concerned with everybody’s equality and everybody’s place in our society and in and among each other. It’s more of a humanistic view than what I used to have.
PGN: I heard you use the term “compassion literacy.” Is that where it comes in?
PS: Yes, compassion literacy. I’m a huge proponent of emotional literacy in our culture, which is something I think we really lack in this capitalist culture. One of the real outcomes of that is that we lack compassion on a daily basis. We have compassion for people when we think it is acceptable; they have to be in need or weakened in some way, they have to have been wronged, certain aspects have to be in play in order for someone to deserve compassion. In my show “Outwardly Fabulous,” which is about stopping bullying and homophobia, I embrace not bullying but the bully: to see the bully and treat the bully with compassion, taking a cue from the civil-rights movement and the spirit of nonviolent demonstrations, where no matter what comes towards you, you don’t retaliate with cruelty or anger or violence; you combat an aggressive, hostile approach with compassion. It’s not something that comes naturally or easily; it takes a lot of work. A lot of the youth tell me, “You’re crazy, that’s not how it works in our school,” but it opens up conversation and I ask them, “What would happen if you sincerely told a bully, ‘I’m so sorry that you’re in so much pain that you have to take it out on me’?” Even if it’s not something they do, at least the awareness is opened to new tools that they can employ. My current show, “I AM ENOUGH,” has everything to do with having self-compassion, which is also something I find lacking, particularly among LGBTQ kids. I feel very strongly that they need to feel compassion from others on the outside but they also need to learn to be compassionate to themselves.
PGN: Your mother is Japanese and your father is Jewish, and I believe I read Russian and Polish. Do you think being from different heritages helps you to be more open and compassionate? I think it helps me see things from different perspectives. I sometimes joke that it would be hard for me to be bigoted because I’m a mix of so many, I’d end up hating some part of me!
PS: Right? I’m half-Asian, female, I’m a big person, I’m a single mom, I’m an artist, I’m a lesbian and I identify as a dyke. It’s like, what don’t I have? So yeah, it would be difficult to come down on any group of people when you yourself represent so many different types of people.
PGN: Tell me a little more about the work you do.
PS: I’m a spoken-word artist, I write and perform poetry. I consider myself a performer first and a writer second. I’ve written about 12 solo shows that I often perform at high schools and universities that are comprehensive explorations of certain subjects. “HOMO-Sapienism” is a humorous piece that’s about what it is to live out, loud and proud. “OUTwordlyFabulous” is a solo show with 12 characters who are dealing with many aspects of bullying — from the bully’s point of view and the bullied’s point of view and the bystander/upstander’s point of view. And I’ve written individual spoken-word pieces that I’ve performed at various venues around the country. I’ve been writing since I was 6 and performing since I was 9. I got my master’s in theater from Mason Grove School of the Arts, which is part of Rutgers.
PGN: As a spoken-word artist, you’re known for delving into any subject. Your regular stage banter may revolve around anything from sex in an airplane lavatory to “labia-licking” ladies. What’s the furthest you’ve pushed in a high-school presentation?
PS: I have a poem called “Alphabet” and it’s about turning GLBTQAAIP into A-Z. We already have half the alphabet in there so I think we should just cover A-Z. In that poem I talk about everything from BDSM to being a top or bottom and ….
PGN: That’s the poem with the labia licking?
PS: [Laughs] Yes, that’s the one. I do take that part out for high-school presentations. But there’s quite enough left to impart. I reference polyamory and a lot of things that most young people don’t usually get to hear, much less discuss. It definitely opens their minds in the way that they didn’t think about all of those labels with the understanding that people actually use them and identify as them. So that piece is pretty edgy. The advisors are aware of what I’m going to be discussing and they give me the green light if they think their kids can handle it.
PGN: By the way, I know LGBT but explain the rest of the acronyms.
PS: GLBTIQCPA? It includes queers, intersex, cis gender, pansexual and allies. The A can also be for asexual. [Laughs] It can go on and on. That’s why I feel we might as well just do the whole alphabet. As a humanist, I feel we need more unity and that we should all just have each other’s backs.
PGN: I loved the piece where you spoke about gay people taking over everyday things.
PS: Yeah, we’ve co-opted a lot of things. Rainbows are ours now, and the word “pride.” You can’t be proud anymore unless you’re gay.
PGN: You must hear a lot of heartfelt stories from the kids.
PS: Oh yeah. I was performing in South Jersey once and a student came up to me — she’d been struggling with her mother — and she asked me what should she do if she got kicked out of the house. She was 13. I was trying to get her to invest in the guidance counselors who I thought were the best able to handle the situation but in the midst of our conversation, she revealed to me that she was contemplating killing herself. I immediately took her by the hand and told her that we were going to get her some help and that it was going to be OK. Eventually she was able to move in with a family member and last I heard she was feeling much more stable. That kind of story is much more frequent than I’d care to admit. Another kid came up to me after I’d done a piece called “Dyke” and said to me, “I want you to know that while you were reading that poem, I realized that I’m gay. Thank you so much, I never realized it about myself.” I congratulated her and told her that it was a big step and that she had good times and hard times ahead but to just always believe in herself. She ended up coming to a gig of mine years later and had tattooed part of that poem onto her arm. At her request, I recited it again that night. That was really lovely.
PGN: The statistics are staggering. One might think in this day and age, where we have GSAs in most schools, a president who regularly references our community and openly gay role models like Ellen and Sam Smith and Michael Sam, that it wouldn’t be as hard for kids to be gay today, but it’s obviously still a big struggle for many.
PS: Well, as far as the country has come, especially in media and awareness of the existence of LGBTQ people, we’ve made strides. But the primary people that many of these kids deal with — their peers and their parents and school officials — are straight and oftentimes ignorant. So often I talk to kids who will say, “My mom was really great,” and then when I ask about the dad they say that they’ve cut off communication. So contributing factors are often the immediate family. There’s also a lot of internal pressure to fit in, to be straight, especially for the kids who don’t “read” gay, who aren’t super-butch or super-twink and could pass as straight if they wanted. They just want to fit in but feel guilt too. And there’s still a ton of homophobia in schools in sports and around the subject of gender. The kids hear a crap load of antigay stuff on a daily basis. And of course there’s the influence of their religious upbringing, which has inculcated them into a kind of self-hatred. I know adults who still struggle with what is approved by God and how to reconcile that with being queer. There’s a swath of America that’s become more accepting and I think it’s awesome but there are so many kids still dealing with homophobic parents and religious intolerance and bias in the school that makes it hard to deal on a daily basis.
PGN: Even though you talk about heavy stuff, your persona on stage seems to be very humorous and quirky. I especially enjoyed your outfits. What’s one of your favorite pieces of clothing?
PS: There is a designer in New York, Tom Sohung of Sohung Designs, and he makes all these clothes out of zippers and ties. One of my favorite pieces is a hat that’s made out of zippers and zippers and zippers, all intertwined in this crazy concoction. I come out with this wild thing on my head and then I go, “Ugh, it’s really cold in here” and I take the hat and transform it into a jacket/vest thing. It’s so much fun, I love that thing! What’s funny is that I didn’t even realize the sexual connotation of his name until a friend pointed it out!
PGN: Speaking of sexual connotations, I read you describe yourself as a tottom.
PS: People often like to be identified as a top or a bottom but I’ve always been switchy; I’m good either way so I jokingly called myself a tottom. I’m a switchy human-mama-dyke-tottom-diva!
PGN: OK human mama, tell me about your child.
PS: I have a daughter who’s about to be 16 and she’s an actor and a writer, a prolific writer. She sings and is very musical, definitely following in the creative track. She’s a blast to be around, I love hanging out with her.
PGN: What’s a best mommy moment?
PS: Last year, I was getting ready for a gig and she turned to me and gave me a big hug and kissed me on the cheek and said, “You’re the best, Mom.” I said, “Yeah? Really?” and she shrugged, “Well, you’re the best mom I have.” We laughed but then she said, “No, seriously, I listen to other kids and how they talk to their moms and you’re nothing like that. You’re a real person with me and I really love you.” It was very gratifying because I’ve spent her entire life giving as much respect, compassion and knowledge as I could in the hopes that she would be able to get through her teen years in a stable way and it seems to be working.
PGN: Nice. Now for some random questions: What’s the hardest part of being gay, queer, etc.?
PS: Having an ex-husband.
PGN: Is it easier or harder to be a girl today than when you were young?
PS: Not sure, I’m not a girl today. If I had to guess, I think it’s harder now to be female-bodied than in the ’70s. Sexism was out in full force then, not insidious like it is now. We tell young girls and women that they can be anything/one they want and then society shackles them with Taylor Swift, size 00 jeans and Victoria’s Secret. Who can thrive in that kind of environment?
PGN: If you could do something dangerous just once with no risk, what would you do?
PS: Go to Syria and save all the people from ISIS.
PGN: Other than being a good mom, what else are you working on?
PS: My one-woman show, “I AM ENOUGH,” which is about suicide prevention and self-confidence-building for LGBTQ youth. The show is inspired by the thousands of LGBTQ youth (ages 10-24) who kill themselves every year. I’ll be touring approximately 45 cities in 17 states with the aim of helping bring that number down to zero. We’re still looking for corporate sponsors and individual supporters for the tour and I hope the community will really get behind it. This epidemic has to stop. Donors can go to www.pandorascooter.com to donate to the cause.
To suggest a community member for Family Portrait, email [email protected].