What better time to talk to a man of the church than right before Christmas?
The Rev. Dr. Tom Bohache is not your run-of-the-mill pastor. Since 2009, he has been the pastor of Metropolitan Community Church of Christ the Liberator, the only LGBT church in New Jersey. He touts an impressive curriculum vitae with master’s degrees in religious studies from the University of Virginia and Georgetown University, as well as a Doctor of Ministry in feminist-liberation theologies from the Episcopal Divinity School. He has most recently completed post-doctoral research at the University of Exeter in the United Kingdom. Quite the literate fellow, the Rev. Bohache is also a published biblical scholar/theologian, having contributed to and co-edited “The Queer Bible Commentary” and authored essays in the “Journal of Theology and Sexuality,” as well as authored his own full-length book entitled “Christology from the Margins.”
His most recent book is a collection from MCC authors, which he co-edited and contributed to, entitled “Queering Christianity: Finding a Place at the Table for LGBTQI Christians.”
PGN: I understand that you’re originally a California boy.
TB: Yes, I am. From Los Angeles. I grew up in a Roman-Catholic family. We went to services every Sunday and were very active in the church. I attended a Catholic grade school and high school.
PGN: How many in the fam?
TB: I’m the youngest of three, two older sisters.
PGN: What professions were your parents in?
TB: My mom was a housewife and my dad was in the insurance business. He started in the mailroom and rose to become the number-two person in the company. He was responsible for bringing computers into the insurance industry. I like to brag on my father because he was a very thoughtful guy. One of the reasons he was able to advance was because during World War II, he was one of the few men who didn’t go off to war. The company didn’t want to promote any woman above typist and secretary levels, so he got fast-tracked. He didn’t think it was fair that he got an advantage just because he was male, so once he was in a position of power, he made it a point to promote women into management positions, which was pretty unusual for a guy in his day.
PGN: So were you a Cali beach boy or a wannabe film star?
TB: Oh, neither, I was very shy. I was not interested in sports … at all. I was very studious and what people would call a sissy. I didn’t like being made fun of, so very early on I went into my shell and became an introvert. Even with the California climate, I preferred to be inside reading a book than outside playing. I did well in school, though; I got good grades and was an honor student. Also, being in Catholic school, we were very insulated. Even though we lived in a big city, we were somewhat ghettoized because we didn’t really associate with anyone outside the church. I didn’t even know that Muslim people existed until I was an adult, and had never met a Jewish person until I went to college. My family basically associated with people who were just like us, so there weren’t a lot of opportunities for exploring diversity.
PGN: Then you grew up and went to UCLA and got a bachelor’s degree in classical languages. [Laughs] What were you planning on doing with that?
TB: I had no idea! Both of my sisters are teachers, so I thought I might do that. My favorite subject was Latin, which we studied at Catholic school, so I took that and Greek and made a classics major.
PGN: So are you a spelling-bee and crossword and “Jeopardy” champ?
TB: [Laughs] I am good at spelling bees and I’m good at some “Jeopardy” categories, but I always joke that if I went on, with my luck I’d get all the sports and opera categories.
PGN: How did you end up on this coast?
TB: I was at UCLA in the early ’70s and after graduation didn’t really know what to do. I was also in the process of coming out so I sort of drifted. At 25, I started going to the Metropolitan Community Church and it inspired me to want to help people in the LGBT community, so I went to law school. I don’t know if it’s coincidence, but I know a lot of clergy who started off in law. I didn’t actually take the bar but I was working as a paralegal and, in the mid-’80s, I decided to go into the ministry. Eventually I got a position with a church in Roanoke, Va., which was a bit of a culture shock, and that’s what brought me across the country.
PGN: How do you think growing up Catholic affected your coming-out process? And was there a period where you became disillusioned with the church?
TB: Oh, definitely. Church was always very important to me and my family. We celebrated all of the holy days of obligation and all that. But when I was at the all-boys, high school, the priests made it very clear that any homosexual activities or feelings were unacceptable. This was just as I was finding myself attracted to boys and men, so I got the feeling that it was something that you kept to yourself because it was very shameful. One of the negatives of growing up in a very-Catholic home was that my parents had instilled in me that priests and nuns were always right and spoke directly for God. So when they told me that God didn’t love people who were this way, I took it as gospel truth. I accepted that God hated me and stopped going to church. I was just a teen and it was hard because it had been such a big part of my life.
PGN: I’d guess that didn’t go over well with the family?
TB: Well, I didn’t tell them. I used to take the car out and drive around and tell them I’d been to services. Finally one day when I was about 19, my mother said, “Why don’t you just stay home and save the gas? We know you’re not going to church.” I don’t know how they knew, but their attitude was that I was grown-up enough to make my own decisions. They didn’t know about the gay thing yet. I didn’t have anything positive that told me I could be open with them. I did tell one of my sisters and she told me that our parents wouldn’t understand and that I should keep it to myself. I didn’t tell them until I was about 32, and that was a shame because they took it so well. I regretted all the years I’d hidden it from them; we could have had many more years of sharing and closeness.
PGN: How did it come out?
TB: I’d decided to go into the ministry and I knew that they wanted to come hear me give my first sermon, so I thought I’d better explain what kind of church it was. I hemmed and hawed and finally my father said, “We already know about the MCC.” Turns out they’d already investigated it. When I told them I was going into ministry and then was so evasive about it, they were afraid I was involved with some kind of cult! They checked out MCC but then kept the knowledge to themselves, figuring that when I was ready, I’d come out to them. They used to like coming to MCC and were very proud of me.
PGN: Tell me about the church in New Jersey where you are now.
TB: The Metropolitan Community Church of Christ the Liberator, I’ve been here for almost six years. They appealed to me because they were very much on the progressive end of Christianity.
PGN: I would have thought all MCC churches were liberal?
TB: Not really, each local congregation has its own flavor. It’s one thing that makes us different from other churches. We have a large diversity of theology; some are very evangelical in scope and some are more liberal. The founder of MCC was from a Pentecostal background and that influenced some of the early churches, but now there’s more of a diversity.
PGN: What’s wonderful about being a pastor?
TB: One of the things that’s the most exciting and challenging is that, now in 2014, things are much different then when I first started going in 1981. There are many more mainstream churches welcoming LGBT people, so we have to be more than just a one-issue church. One of the things I like about Christ the Liberator is that people here are willing to hear new messages and try new things. I’m a believer that our clergy should be well-educated and I’ve backed that up with my own education, studying and writing and publishing. It’s refreshing that this congregation is very open to new perspectives on spirituality and the Bible and new academic concepts.
PGN: Yeah, I’ve always found it suspect that anyone could become a mail-order pastor and suddenly everyone is supposed to heed their advice on a myriad of subjects.
TB: Precisely. I’ve always been inquisitive but when I decided to pursue this, that’s when I decided to get advanced degrees in various fields. I have two master’s degrees and then a doctorate degree from the Episcopal Divinity School.
PGN: You have quite a list of published works too. What is the “Queer Bible Commentary”?
TB: That’s an 800-page book edited by four of us, giving commentary on the Bible from a queer point of view. It did very well; SCM Press just named it as one of the 50 best books that they’ve ever published. As a result of its success, I was able to publish my own book, “Christology from the Margins.”
PGN: What were your most moving and toughest times as a pastor?
TB: It’s extremely moving to me when people get it that God loves them. I know that sounds simplistic but in my own experience, I was 25 years old before I discovered it. I mean, I thought it as a child but then I had that taken away from me. I was sitting in an MCC church just checking out the place when the female pastor said, “God really loves you,” and I heard it and believed it for the first time. I can see when that light bulb goes off in people’s heads in my church. Even after almost 27 years of service, it still affects me when I see people peeling away the layers of homophobia that they’ve gathered through the years.
PGN: Any particular person come to mind?
TB: This wasn’t as a pastor, but it’s what led me into ministry. In the mid-’80s my boyfriend died of AIDS. His mother’s priest had told him that God hated him and that he had AIDS because he’d been a prostitute and it was punishment from God. He knew I went to church and one of the last times I visited him, he asked me to pray for him. I told him, “You know you can pray too” and he said, “No I can’t. God hates me.” So I told him I’d pray for him. The last time I went to see him, he pulled his mask away and said, “I did it.” I asked what and he said, “I prayed … ” It was so moving that I thought, if I could do that for him, maybe I could help others.
PGN: And so you have …
TB: By the way, the toughest part for me of ministry at MCC is that sometimes people don’t see us as a “real” church, even in the LGBT community — that we somehow don’t have the validity of a Catholic or Episcopal church. And even though I understand where it comes from, it’s also hard to see a lot of the anti-religious sentiment in our community. Fortunately, I have a lot of colleagues in the Methodist Church and the Episcopal Church and many others that are striving to be more open and welcoming.
PGN: And the new pope seems to be making waves as well.
TB: Yes, I’m very hopeful about that.
PGN: I understand you’re a married man.
TB: Yes, we’ve been together for 13 years and got married nine years ago, when I was going to school in Cambridge, Mass. His name is Tom too, Tom Laughingwolf Simmons.
PGN: That sounds Native-American.
TB: It is, he’s Cherokee. He just completed his internship to become an MCC pastor as well. We’re hoping to do a kind of team ministry. Tom’s had a diversity of religious traditions, from Catholic to Protestant to Native traditions. He’s done a lot of seeking before deciding to join the seminary. He’s planning to be a hospital chaplain in addition to pastoral work.
PGN: And is there really only one LGBT church in New Jersey?
TB: Yes, but there are a lot of churches that are welcoming [laughs], or at least tolerating!
PGN: What was the best Christmas gift you got as a kid?
TB: I was given two ventriloquist dummies. I made up little stories and scenarios with them.
PGN: What a great present for a shy kid, you could let the characters talk for you.
TB: Exactly. It was a neat gift.
PGN: What’s a favorite word or phrase?
TB: That’s printable? Actually one of the women in our church recently made “Pay it Forward” wristbands that she sells to raise money for Tent City. I like that concept and phrase.
PGN: I still can’t believe that I once …
TB: Was a ’70s disco queen! I was coming out of the closet and out of my shell and for a bit I was very big in the disco scene in Southern California. It’s still my favorite music to listen to.
PGN: What were your tallest platform shoes?
TB: Oh goodness, well, I’m 6-feet tall to start with, and I had a pair of orange and blue platform shoes that made me about 6-foot-4.
PGN: Anything in store for Christmas?
TB: We’re having a joint service with the Methodist Church we rent space from. Our musicians are putting together a special program and my husband is doing a special Christmas message on Sunday and I’ll be doing my Christmas message on the 28th. We’re very excited for the New Year because we’re moving to Hamilton Township, N.J., and we’ll be worshiping at Grace St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. We’re excited about the partnership between the two congregations and being able to service the LGBT community in that area. There are quite a few LGBT folks in that area but not really much for them, no bars or a Pride center or anywhere for people to congregate. Hopefully we’ll fill that gap.
For more information on Metropolitan Community Church of Christ the Liberator, visit mccctl.com.
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