Kelly and Michelle Medina have gotten a lot of bad news in the last few years — the loss of a parent, a car accident and a cancer diagnosis.
But, earlier this year, the Lehigh Valley couple got some much-needed good news: They had been chosen as the beneficiaries of Wish Upon a Wedding.
The national program, with a local chapter, provides weddings for couples facing terminal illness and life-threatening conditions, regardless of sexual orientation.
Unfortunately, the Medinas fit this bill.
Last year, after a car accident, Kelly, 50, learned she had a brain tumor.
“I kept myself together,” she said about the diagnosis. “I didn’t cry or anything. It was just like, OK, this is what I have to do. This is our life from now on. It’s kind of just … ”
“Just an adjustment,” added Michelle.
Kelly ended up in intensive care for almost a week after the diagnosis, undergoing three sets of radiation treatment immediately, as well as beginning chemotherapy. During a body scan, she learned she had stage-four breast cancer that had metastasized to her brain, lung, bone and, more recently, her liver. She underwent a lumpectomy of her breast and more chemo, but learned at the beginning of this year that the tumors in her brain had spread. Her prognosis is terminal.
Together, the couple has three children — a 10-year-old daughter Michelle, 40, adopted before the couple met, and Kelly’s 15-year-old son and 27-year-old daughter, who has a 5-year-old daughter herself, their grandchild.
The couple was set up covertly by a friend in 2009.
“I was home one night and my friend Janet called and asked what I was doing and said I had to come see her. I had been falling asleep on the couch, but she said I had to come see her, so I did,” Michelle said. “I got there and 10 minutes later, she goes, ‘OK, I have to work tomorrow, this is my friend, Kelly.’ And she did the same thing to Kelly. She left us there and we’ve been together ever since.”
The blending of their families was relatively seamless, Michelle said.
“The kids were wonderful,” she said. “My daughter only knows Kelly as her other mom.”
It was largely for their children that the couple began thinking about marrying, in the midst of Kelly’s health struggles.
“At that time, it wasn’t legal in Pennsylvania, but we didn’t know what was going to happen with me and with the kids, and we wanted to make sure everything was settled,” Kelly said.
Amid trying to juggle their medical and family stress with wedding planning, Michelle happened upon the website for Wish Upon a Wedding.
“I was like, ‘Oh, that’s nice. I wish they could do that for a couple like us.’ But then I saw that they actually don’t discriminate based on sexual orientation, and I was impressed. That’s the whole reason I put in the application,” Michelle said.
They were notified two days later that they had been selected.
“I was shocked. I was like to Michelle, ‘You did what?’” Kelly said. “And I thought, Who in Pennsylvania gives a same-sex couple a wedding? I was totally dumfounded. I was like, We really matter.”
Chad Weldon, of the Philadelphia chapter of Wish Upon a Wedding, said the Medinas were a natural fit for their organization.
“We truly loved their story and unanimously all voted ‘yes’ to take on their wish and give them a wedding of their dreams,” Weldon said.
The organization works to plan all details of the wedding, and to find vendors who will donate their services to the cause. The average wedding the organization donates usually would cost about $20,000.
Wish Upon a Wedding assigned the couple a wedding planner, who helped them craft each detail of the day.
“She would ask us, ‘OK, do you want A or B?’ And I’d be like, ‘I didn’t even know A or B was an option!’” Kelly said. “She asked if we wanted a DJ or live band, and I said, ‘Sure, a live band,’ and she said, ‘We can bring in a four-string quartet if you want.’ I was on cloud nine.”
They were most excited by the selection of the event site.
Michelle explained that, as a child, her mother didn’t have much money but saved up to take her and her sister to dinner on the Moshulu, explaining to them that hard work can earn you rewards. She said it remains one of her favorite memories of her mother, who has since passed.
“I told [the planner] on the phone, ‘We’d want it in the Lehigh Valley, unless of course you can get the Moshulu, then we’d come to Philly. And I was totally joking,” Michelle said. “And she called me back and said, ‘Guess what we got?’ And it was the Moshulu. I didn’t even think that was a possibility. I told her I was joking, and she said, ‘Yeah, I know, but we did it anyway.’”
With the music, flowers, bridal party, dresses, photographer and all other details coming together, the couple looked forward to the May 28 wedding. But, knowing that their marriage wouldn’t be recognized in their home state, they traveled to Maryland to receive a legal marriage license.
Then, serendipitously, eight days before the wedding, Pennsylvania legalized marriage equality.
“I was like, you’ve got to be kidding me. It was perfect timing,” Kelly said.
On the wedding day, everything went off without a hitch, the couple said. The wedding party included Michelle’s father and sister, the couple’s three children and granddaughter and several friends, including the friend who set them up. They had 50 guests overall for the ceremony and reception aboard the Moshulu.
“It all came together,” Kelly said.
Michelle noted that the legal weight of their marriage does feel significant.
“It feels like we matter,” she said. “It meant a lot for us and our kids. No matter what anybody says now, we’re a truly united family.”
The family still has to grapple with Kelly’s illness, but Michelle said the wedding provided a respite from the worry, and a day of invaluable memories.
“With everything going on with Kelly, the wedding gave us something positive to focus on. It might be easy to say, ‘Kelly’s terminal’ and go to the negative aspects instead of trying to keep positive. It gave our kids memories for a lifetime of a good time when a lot of people would think this is a bad time. The wedding experience gave us and our children so much positive.”
For more information on Wish Upon a Wedding, visit http://wishuponawedding.org/.