In the 1980s and ’90s, we talked a lot about sex. We did this partly because we were young and partly because of HIV/AIDS, but the messages were targeted at younger people throughout. For example, in 1991, Salt-n-Pepa’s “Let’s Talk About Sex” brought to the forefront the discussion of sex and of the importance of safer sex. They sang, “Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be.” The video featured a cast of 20-somethings.
In 2008, the slogan, “Sex has no age. Nor has protection,” was introduced in Brazil as part of a public-health campaign. The Brazilians were ahead of the curve in acknowledging that older people have just as active sex lives as younger people.
In the United States, the conversation about sex and older adults has barely made the radar.
In some contrast, Robin Thicke’s 2013 “Blurred Lines” pushed boundaries with its controversial lyrics about sex. Sex, however, isn’t mentioned directly anywhere in the song. Thicke talked around sex with metaphors and allusions. Salt-n-Pepa and the folks in Brazil talked about it directly.
Talking around sex is just as problematic as not talking about it at all. Talking around it gives space to misconceptions. These misconceptions can become a breeding ground for potentially unhealthy attitudes toward sex. These misconceptions do not acknowledge safety — both in the physical and emotional senses. In fact, despite decades of safer-sex education, the rates of sexually transmitted infections and of sexual and domestic violence are rising among older adults in the United States.
As a society, we are somewhat comfortable having conversations about sex and sexuality for and about young people. We are much less comfortable acknowledging the realities of the sexual health and well-being of older people. This discussion has become even more important as the aging population booms. However, barriers exist to this discussion actually occurring.
In many places around the world, sex among older people is viewed as taboo or shameful, especially in LGBT communities. Despite vast research showing that people remain sexually active into their elder years, the majority of conversations about sex and sexuality still remain focused on youth. In fact, a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine noted that in the United States, women between the ages of 57-74 showed no decline in sexual activity.
When it comes to research and information on sex and sexual health, one of the most marginalized groups are older women in the LGBT community. Currently, no guidelines exist on preventative screenings for bisexual and lesbian older women. Doctors are not always prepared to discuss these screenings with older patients. When they do discuss sex and health, they often make incorrect assumptions about their patients’ sexual orientation and activities.
Older LGBT women may feel just as uncomfortable talking about their sex lives with their health-care providers. As a result, older women are often overlooked for what could be life-saving tests — for themselves and their partners.
For transwomen, access to appropriate health care is a major concern: Many carry the scars, both physical and mental, of years of violence and discrimination. According to the LGBT Elder Initiative’s Dawn Munro, ”Discrimination and cultural incompetence leading to denial of needed screening tests for prostate and breast cancer, HIV and HEP is sadly common, as is the lack of provision of mental-health services. This is abuse by neglect and leads to anxiety and creates a climate of distrust.”
Sexual health is a basic right. The World Health Organization defines sexual health as a state of physical, mental and social well-being in the sphere of sexuality. Intrinsic to the right of sexual health is a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having sexual experiences that are pleasurable and safe, free from coercion, discrimination, violence and disease.
A change in the scope of the conversation around sex is necessary to ensure that people of all ages receive appropriate health services and the information necessary to maintain the basic standard of sexual health. On May 31, the LGBT Elder Initiative will host “LGBT Older Women’s Sexual Health.” A panel of experts will discuss the emotional, physical, spiritual and pleasure aspects of sex. For more information, contact the LGBTEI at 267-546-3448.
In the practical and timeless lyrics of Salt-n-Pepa: “Let’s tell it how it is, and how it could be/How it was, and of course, how it should be.”
Rebecca Richman is a member of the LGBT Elder Initiative and is a paralegal with the AIDS Law Project of Pennsylvania. The LGBTEI fosters and advocates for services, resources and institutions that are culturally competent, inclusive and responsive to the needs of LGBT older adults. To comment on this article, suggest topics for future articles or for more information, visit www.lgbtei.org or call 267-546-3448 and watch for “Gettin’ On” each month in PGN.