Philadelphia Gay News office manager Don Pignolet and his partner, Mike Petty, have a serendipitously spilled beer to thank for the start of their relationship, now almost in its fourth decade.
Pignolet, 62, and Petty, 69, married Dec. 29 in Cape May, N.J. Both hail from New Jersey and currently live in South Philadelphia with their nine cats. The couple met at the former Cartwheel Bar and Nightclub in New Hope on Halloween 1975. “It is possible to meet somebody at a bar and have it last,” Pignolet said. “It isn’t that common, but it is possible.” Pignolet said the pair bonded over a spilled beer from another patron. “We were standing opposite of each other and we met over a bottle of spilled beer. Somebody dropped their bottle and we looked at each other and then looked at the beer and made a comment,” he said. Pignolet joked that his first impression of Petty was, “Is he Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now? “Well, it turns out that Mr. Right Now turned out to be Mr. Right,” he added. Although Petty lived 15 miles in the opposite direction, Pignolet said he followed him home that night — and they’ve been together since. “We’ve always been together after that and never looked at anybody else,” he said, noting that they were both were each others’ first, and last, partner. “It was the first time for both of us. There were no exes. He was just coming out and I had been out for two years. I was 24 and he was 31.” Pignolet has been working at PGN since its inception, in 1976, and was a member of the team that helped get the publication off the ground. Petty has worked as a hair stylist for more than 40 years and currently works at Dino’s Casa of Beauty in Rittenhouse Square. Pignolet said in their 38 years together, the pair learned that being domestically compatible has been a key to keeping their relationship on track. “Lovin’ don’t last, cookin’ do,” Pignolet joked, noting that he does most of the cooking and Petty the baking. “It is not romance or hot sex; they help but they both wear out. You have to be able to live together and not kill each other.” The pair also shares a mutual love of kite-flying and owns a 25-foot cat kite, and belongs to both a national and local kite club. “We were on the beach in Wildwood flying kites one day and we were having a little tiff about something and two members of the club, they were a married couple, said to us, ‘You act just like a married couple.’ That was the best compliment I ever got,” Pignolet said. Pignolet had never been adamant about marriage but said that was because he never thought it was possible. “Since marriage was out of reach, it was never an option,” he said. “If something is not an option, you tend to put it down.” But, once the U.S. Supreme Court struck down a key portion of the federal ban on same-sex marriage, they began talking about taking the plunge. When New Jersey legalized marriage equality in October, they solidified their plan. “If you asked me 20 years ago, I would have said I had more of a chance of walking on Mars,” Pignolet said about marriage equality becoming a reality. “I never thought it would happen, and I’ve been fighting for gay rights when I first came out and I never thought it would come to this.” Pignolet and Petty picked Cape May because it is one of their favorite vacation spots. “Cape May is the place we’ve always gone to as a getaway, usually after the holidays,” Pignolet said. “We already had a reservation down there before any of this happened. Our anniversary is Halloween and we tried to do it that day, but because the law just went into affect, there wasn’t enough lead time to get it done and get the license and there is a waiting period.” The couple headed to the Cape May Courthouse Nov. 25 to apply for their license. The next month, Pignolet and Petty were married in front of the Christmas tree at the Dormer House, a favorite spot of theirs. “We had the innkeeper and his daughter as witnesses. This was our fourth trip back to the Dormer House. We like it there, we like the people and we like the rooms.” Pignolet said the response from friends and family has been tremendous. “It had been a long time coming. People pointed out that we’ve been together longer than we’ve been apart,” he said. “People were saying it is about time or congratulating us. What I wasn’t expecting was wedding presents. I did not expect that. That came out of left field. Everything was beyond my expectations.”
