If you don’t know about the William Way LGBT Community Center, then bah humbug to you!
The center is the hub of all things gay in Philadelphia: Fourteen community-based organizations call the center home and atleast 85 more use the venue on a regular basis.
The building is open seven days a week and is currently visited by more than 2,500 people each month. Wandering inside, you can find a library, a rotating art gallery, a Cyber Center with computers available for public use and free WiFi. At Way Gay University, you can learn to dance, speak Spanish, build a relationship or defend yourself, a skill we all might need considering the recent violence in the Gayborhood. If you’re a gamer, you can join the chess club or perhaps the Mahjong club, expand your literary world with the book club or the Queer Writers’ Collective. Stressed out? Join the Rainbow Buddhist Meditation group or take a class in Tai Chi. Did you miss one of my columns (heaven forbid)? Find a back issue of PGN in the LGBT archives.
And if you’re looking for something to do this holiday season, the center is the place to be. You just missed the Holiday Extravaganza with Latin carols led by center executive director Chris Bartlett, but there’s still time to join old friends or meet new ones at the 10th annual Holiday Potluck Dinner, 2-4 p.m. Dec. 25, or the LGBT Kwanzaa Celebration, 6-9 p.m. Dec. 28.
Helping to make the yuletide gay is the center’s Avis Albaladejo. With a hearty laugh that would rival Santa’s, Albaladejo took a moment out of his holiday preparations to speak to us.
AA: This is my first interview ever, so sorry if I’m a little nervous. PGN: Aww, I’m your first? [Laughs.] I’ll try to be gentle. AA: Mmmhmm. I’ve heard that before!
PGN: Sassy! You must be from Philly. AA: Yup, born and raised in the Olney section of the city. I’ve been in South Philly now for about 10 years.
PGN: Small family? Big family? AA: Pretty big, six kids: four girls, two boys. And now 15 nephews and nieces.
PGN: You had your own “Eight is Enough.” AA: For sure. And my mother pretty much raised us by herself. How she managed that, I don’t know. She’s a wonderful woman.
PGN: Did your parents split when you were young? AA: Fairly young, I guess in my teens. They never actually got divorced, though — that old-school Puerto Rican anti-divorce mindset. They just separated instead.
PGN: Well, we’re not Puerto Rican, but my family’s done the same thing. The folks haven’t been together for years but are still technically married. So tell me about growing up in your big family. AA: It was fun. I was born in North Philly so moving to Olney was a step up. The school system was better, the neighborhood was better. Not saying there was anything wrong with North Philly, but for us it was a great move. We got to meet different people and it was a great experience.
PGN: With that many kids, did you form a band or rugby team? AA: [Laughs.] No, we weren’t quite “The Brady Bunch.” With a single parent, I think family can get on your nerves quicker. There were times when you wanted to be an only child but then you start to appreciate having siblings and never, never being alone.
PGN: Whom did you share a room with? AA: I had my own room until I was 7 and my younger brother was born.
PGN: That brat! AA: [Laughs.] Exactly!
PGN: Who was the troublemaker in the family? AA: That would have been my sister Maggie. She would say exactly what she felt. We’re both middle children and very forthright.
PGN: What’s the best part of being an uncle? AA: Being able to give them back! Just joking. The best part is watching them grow into the amazing individuals they are. I have a nephew who’s training to be a Navy fighter pilot, a niece who’s in college on a volleyball scholarship, a nephew whose soccer team won the Catholic League championship this year, a nephew who’s being recruited by college scouts for baseball and another nephew in the robotics club at Central High School, which is pretty cool. They’re all gifted and I’m proud of all of them.
PGN: So what do you do at William Way? AA: I’m the facilities director. It’s an old building so me and my staff try to keep it running as smoothly as possible. With a building like this, there are always going to be issues here and there, but we try and keep up with everything and this old building is going strong.
PGN: Were you handy as a kid? AA: Not really! When my dad was around, he’d show me a couple of things, but handy, no. I was always into physical things, work-wise, and not so much into office work, even though that’s a good part of what I do now! I just think that the jobs that I’ve taken have made me handier than I started out being.
PGN: What were some other jobs you’ve held? What was the worst? AA: They’ve all been pretty good. Wait, that’s not true, I’ve had a few crappy ones. I was the bar manager at Key West. That wasn’t one of the crappy ones, that was pretty good. I was there for 12 years. [Laughs.] I seem to usually start at the bottom and somehow hoist my way up. I started at Key West as the cleaner and worked my way up to manager, which is pretty much exactly how I started at William Way. I’d been out of work for about a year after Key West closed and my ex told me that they were looking for maintenance help here, so I went over and got the job. Then my supervisor quit and they put me in as an interim and I’ve been the permanent facilities manager ever since.
PGN: I remember years ago hanging out in the lobby waiting for a meeting to start when a young girl came in and started talking to me. She was about 18 and had never been to a club or any kind of gay facility or organization but had somehow found William Way. She asked me what she should do and how to deal with being gay. It was a touching moment (and hopefully I gave her some good advice and resources). It was a singular moment for me but you must have plenty of those moments. AA: Oh yes. This place is great for stories like that. We get kids but we also get people my age, in their 40s and older too, who are just coming out and need some direction or help with certain aspects of their lives. Coming out is hard for anybody, obviously, but here they feel the sense of community when they walk through the doors of William Way. There’s always a front-desk staff person to talk to people and let them know what we’re about and direct them to resources. We have peer-counseling services available Monday-Friday 6-9 p.m., which seems to help a lot of people. But I think it’s the overall welcoming nature of the place that appeals to people most.
PGN: What’s your favorite story? AA: Well, I do the rentals here. We rent out the ballroom and various spaces for people to use. We’ve had everything from baby showers to memorial services. I don’t discriminate, I’ll rent to anyone, so often we get straight people renting. For a lot of their guests, it’s the first time they’ve ever been to an LGBT place or met — to their knowledge — LGBT people. I kind of dig the fact that they come in and often have their misconceptions about gay people totally turned around. They suddenly realize that we’re just like everybody else. I really like being able to open our doors to anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, and having the potential to change hearts and minds.
PGN: So speaking of coming out, how did you tell the family? AA: That’s a funny story. I didn’t “come out” come out. My siblings kept sending me Facebook friend requests and I ignored them for the longest time. Finally, my dad passed away [laughs] — wait, not finally! About six months after my dad passed, I still was ignoring everyone on Facebook. Finally, my sister Lisa messaged me and wrote, “If the reason why you won’t accept any friend requests from any of us is because you’re gay, well, we already know!” I was like, “Oh wow!”
PGN: [Laughs.] No she didn’t! AA: Yes, she did! So after that it was fine. All my siblings and my mom knew. It was a lot easier than I thought. I think a lot of people find it’s not nearly as difficult as you anticipate. Growing up in the Northeast can be a little tough. I think there’s a different mindset there, but I was very lucky and didn’t lose any family or friends over it.
PGN: And do you have a partner? AA: Yes, his name is John and he’s a good guy. I’ve been fortunate to always have good partners. I’m still friends with most of my exes. I’ve been lucky in love.
PGN: I’m excited that William Way is having a big Christmas dinner. Have you gone before? AA: Yes, for the last three years. It’s a fantastic time. It’s a good way to gather with old friends and meet some new ones. We get 60-90 people for a big sit-down dinner from 2-4 p.m. It’s a potluck so most people bring things but, if not, people are still more than welcome to stop by and share in the food and festivities. People really love it. I hear a ton of compliments and praises for it each year.
PGN: How did you get involved? AA: The center is open 365 days a year and each staff member has to volunteer to work a different holiday. I chose Christmas. It was a great decision, as I’m sure you know most nonprofits rely heavily on volunteers and William Way is no exception. So we have volunteers who come in and help out for the potluck. People bring in appetizers or desserts and soda, etc., and we provide the big stuff like the hams and turkeys.
PGN: Sounds festive. AA: Yeah, there’s a really nice mix of young and old, men and women, people of all gender expressions and folks from all different backgrounds.
PGN: That’s great. I think a misconception people might have is of it being a lonely-hearts dinner for people with nowhere to go. AA: No, that’s not the case at all. There are some people who may be in that boat, but it’s not the tone of the night. Even if you’re not with your biological family, you’re here with chosen family and community. We’ve got music playing and good food and good company. It’s a great time.
PGN: And your big Puerto Rican family doesn’t mind you missing Christmas? AA: Our big day is Christmas Eve. That’s when the whole family gets together. [Laughs.] It can be a little much, but that’s fun too. Then I come back to the center on Christmas for more merriment! It’s perfect.
PGN: So what do you do for fun when you’re away from the center? AA: I’m a big comic-book geek. I’m old school, “X-Men.”
PGN: Are you a big-enough geek that you’ve been to the conventions? AA: [Hesitantly] Yeees … I’ll admit I have been. Not regularly, but I have been.
PGN: In costume? AA: No! I’m not quite that big a geek.
PGN: Aww, you just lost some points. What does John do? AA: He works as a project manager in the international division of the National Board of Medical Exams, so he travels quite a bit and I get to tag along! We’ve been to Rome, Prague, Lisbon, you name it. It’s a nice perk to being with him!
PGN: What was your craziest travel adventure? AA: It was actually before John. I went to Spain by myself and caught one of those gypsy cabs. He charged me 80 Euros to go about 15 minutes. I told him, “I think there’s a little mistake here,” but he insisted the fare was correct. I knew I was getting screwed but I realized that all my bags were in the trunk and I was afraid if I refused to pay him, as soon as I got out of the cab, he’d drive off with all my belongings. So I paid him and he gave me my bags. As he drove off, I realized that I was nowhere near my destination. So I was wandering around with my bags, not knowing which way to go. Finally, after walking around for about two hours, this little gypsy kid came up and asked me for change. I said that I didn’t have any and next thing I knew I was surrounded by 12-13 kids. It was like a scene from “Children of the Corn.” I was shouting “Get back!” as they drew closer and closer. They were some frightening little kids! Then a really nice lady walking by helped me out. She happened to have a place to stay so I spent the night there and the next day she helped me find my hotel. Also on that trip, I was sightseeing and this older woman grabbed my hand and started reading my palm! She told me I was going to marry a big woman and then tried to charge me about 80 Euros for telling my future.
PGN: A big woman! You should have told her that her crystal ball needed a little polishing! AA: I know! When I refused to pay her, she gave me the evil eye and put a curse on me.
PGN: Wow, that was an adventure. OK, random questions. Worst pickup line ever used on you? AA: When I first came out, I was trying to make friends by going to the bars. I met this one guy and we started talking about some movie. I mentioned that I’d always wanted to see it, so he invited me to his place to watch it. As naïve as I was, I really just wanted to see the movie, but next thing you know he was all over me wrestling me to the ground and I ended up with a broken nose. [Laughs.] I’m so sorry, this is not exactly a funny pickup-line story! More like a near date-rape!
PGN: That’s more of a cautionary tale! Yeesh, glad you’re OK! What’s your go-to karaoke song? AA: It’s Elvis Presley’s “Don’t Be Cruel.” I do pretty good with that.
PGN: Any pets? AA: I share custody of a cute little Boston terrier that I adopted with my ex. He lives with him but I get to see him pretty often. A big reason that we are still friends is our mutual love of Tank.
PGN: I often crave … AA: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. It’s the go-to present for me. If you can’t figure out what to get me for my birthday or Christmas, a package of Peanut Butter Cups is always a good choice.
PGN: Now I know what to bring to the potluck!
For more information about William Way LGBT Community Center, visit www.waygay.org or call 215-732-2220.