Oh, Pat Robertson. He really is trying too hard to present himself as the epitome of angry and dogmatic old man determined to go to his grave on the wrong side of history. It’s almost sad, until, of course, he opens his mouth again to say something about gay people.
Like on a recent episode of “The 700 Club,” where he answered a viewer’s question about, er, Facebook etiquette. Because when looking for answers about social media, who doesn’t seek out the wizened input of an 83-year-old? After all, Robertson’s Tumblr is wicked dope.
Judging from the viewer’s question, however, it doesn’t seem like he or she is exactly social-media savvy, either.
A viewer identified as TYZA asks, “When we ‘like’ things on Facebook, if it’s something that goes against what is written in the Bible — such as pictures of same-sex couples — is that considered condoning the behavior?”
Seriously, TYZA? You get to have your question about Facebook read on air and that’s what you hit us with? Why not just ask, “If you ‘poke’ someone on Facebook and then find out they’re gay, does that make you gay, too?” Actually, I’d love to see Robertson tackle that one. Because it’s clear from his response to TYZA that he’s not exactly a Facebook expert.
“I’m not someone who switches on ‘likes’ in Facebook so it’s hard to say,” he begins with limited coherence, “but what you’re saying is, ‘Yes, I like this kind of thing.’ You’ve got a couple of same-sex guys kissing, you like that. Well, that makes me want to throw up. To me I would punch ‘vomit,’ not ‘like,’” he says, cracking himself up. “But they don’t give you that option on Facebook. But anyhow, are you condoning it? Yes, you’re condoning it.”
So much for “like” the sinner, hate the sin.
And there you have it. Robertson understands how Facebook’s “like” feature works, even if he does not understand basic human decency. If you’re gay, you make him want to puke. And punch his computer, apparently. I’d hate to be his IT person.
This whole “pansies make Pat puke” thing is no doubt difficult for his legions of gay fans.
You heard that right. Shortly after Pat’s pukey comments, he claimed that he wasn’t antigay and that homos DVR “The 700 Club” right alongside “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and “Modern Family.”
“I am very pleased that we have many, many, many, uh, homosexuals watching this program and many of them are looking for love and acceptance and help,” Robertson said. “And I just think we’re not antigay or anti-anything. I just do believe in the Bible.”
Granted, he had just said that gays make him puke, but let’s put that into perspective. Just because someone makes you feel like you’re going to lose your lunch doesn’t mean you refuse to help them. Just ask any doctor or nurse who deals with real gross people as opposed to Robertson’s fairytale gross gays.
After claiming that “a lot” of people turn gay after being sexually abused, Robertson muses, “and they’re little boys and little girls and they don’t know any better and then they somehow think, ‘Well, I must be gay.’ Well, they aren’t, they are heterosexual and they just need to come out of that. There are some others, maybe they’ve got some chromosomal damage that’s different from heterosexuals, and that’s what, of course, they claim, and then the homosexual movement they say that, ‘Hey, you can’t come out of this under any circumstances.’”
Got that? Gays need to come out of the closet. Again. As straight. And the only reason more of them don’t is because the “homosexual movement” bullies them. Almost makes you want to puke, doesn’t it?
D’Anne Witkowski has been gay for pay since 2003. She’s a freelance writer and poet (believe it!). When she’s not taking on the creeps of the world, she reviews rock ’n’ roll shows in Detroit with her twin sister.