If the Mayans were correct, then nobody’s reading this right now because the world ended sometime on Dec. 21. Cheery thought, right?
But what are the chances of that happening? From Y2K to the Rapture, we’ve all lived through way more than our share of crazy predictions about the end of days, especially in the last decade. It seemed like every time you turned around, someone was screaming that the end was upon us.
Screw that — let’s party! Whether it’s the end of the year or the end of the world, it’s the perfect time to celebrate life and the loved ones around us. You have to remember how important this is. As the song goes, life is so brief and time is a thief, so take a few extra moments to give people a hug and tell them that you love them. You never really know how much time you have with the people in your life.
Wherever you are, to everyone reading this, I hope you and yours have a peaceful, happy and wonderful holiday.
Comedy Apocalypse
If the threat of impending doom makes you sad, then girl, you need to lighten things up at the apocalyptic comedy show from 8-11 p.m. Dec. 21 at Tabu, 200 S. 12th St.
A $15 cover gets you in the door and access to some great drink specials, plus the comedy show featuring Christine Meehan and Rich Shultis, along with headliner Thomas Dale, who has appeared on VH1 and “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.”
End of the World Party
If you want to go out with a real bang, then be there from 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Dec. 21 at Sisters, 1320 Chancellor St. A $5 cover gets you in the door, with drink specials and a free door pass you can use on a future date. See? They’re so confident the world’s not going to end, they’re giving you a two-for-one deal! Either that or they’re convinced it is going to end and they know they’ve got nothing to lose. Hmmm … Is it too late to start hoarding Pop-Tarts and other nonperishable essentials?
The Night Before the Night Before Christmas
If we do make it past the 21st, then you’ve got to be there from 10 p.m.-1 a.m. Dec. 23 at Venture Inn, 255 S. Camac St., for its annual holiday party and staff drag show. It’s a Gayborhood tradition and a highlight of the season! Drag Boylesque and Burly-Q
Extend your holiday season with a great show starting 9 p.m. Dec. 28 at Sisters, 1320 Chancellor St. A $6 cover gets you a night of sexy shenanigans, dancing, partying and hysterical hi-jinks from Tammy Famous, Nino, Brettzo, Melissa Bang Bang, Timaree and everybody’s favorite, the Notorious OMG. Doors open at 9 and the show starts at 11.
Mummers Day Parade
Don’t miss your chance to watch history in the making when a troupe of gorgeous drag queens joins the Mummers Parade in the march up Broad Street for the first time ever. While the Mummers have always featured men in drag over their more-than 100-year history, this is the first time the organization extended an invitation to a group of full-time drag queens from the LGBT community to perform in featured roles with them. This is epic!
None other than Brittany Lynn and her Drag Mafia will escort the string bands during the parade. Later in the afternoon, they’ll perform at the Convention Center in between the Fancy Brigade acts.
The parade starts at Oregon Avenue and Washington Avenue at 10 a.m. and runs until the early evening. Meanwhile, the Fancy Brigade finales are ticketed events held at the Convention Center with two performances, at noon and 5 p.m.
The girls performing with Brittany include Crystal Electra, Alexis Cartier, Mrs. P., Porcelain, Bridgette Jones, Stella D’Oro, Mary D’Knight, Navaya Shay and Cherry Pop. For more information, go to www.visitphilly.com.
PINK Pub Crawl — New Year’s Day Edition
Make sure you wear pink to the parade so you can shift gears later and join in on the first Pink Pub Crawl of 2013.
It starts at 2 p.m. at Tabu, 200 S. 12th St., then crawls around the Gayborhood according to the following schedule: 3:15 p.m. at Tavern, 243 S. Camac St.; 4:30 p.m. at ICandy, 254 S. 12th St.; and wrapping things up at 5:30 p.m. at Woody’s, 202 S. 13th St.
Tickets for the crawl are $25 if you’re dressed in pink or $30 if not, which includes one drink ticket at the first three venues and dance-floor admission at both ICandy and Woody’s. For more information and tickets, see www.nightlifegay.com.
This column is dedicated to the memory of my dad, Jack Zufelt, who came further than any other conservative Midwestern man of his generation when it came to accepting his big gay son. Dad, you helped make me the man I am today and I’ll always love you!
Questions? Comments? Contact Jim at [email protected] or follow him on Facebook for links to back articles and bitchin’ old pop-music videos!