Philadelphia Black Gay Pride is always a highly anticipated event here in the City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection. Now in its 13th year, PBGP has grown from a weekend of parties to an eight-day festival with everything from poetry slams, speed dating, fashion shows, a town-hall meeting, bowling, myriad workshops on topics ranging from estate planning to zumba and, my personal favorite, movies at midnight. And of course there still are plenty of parties and pageants. We tore executive director Chris Alston away from his planning for just a moment to chat with us.
PGN: I know about Pride — tell me a little about yourself. CA: I was born in the West Oak Lane section of Philadelphia. My father was a construction worker and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. I have an older sister who’s 12 years older than me.
PGN: What was life like for little Chris Alston? CA: Pretty normal, I went to private school all of my life except for my senior year. I’d decided that I wanted to see what public school was like. Mostly because my school was so small, I wanted to experience a big school. My homeroom was almost as big as my whole private-school class.
PGN: What was your favorite class? CA: Math, believe it or not. I went on to work in accounting for some years.
PGN: Were you a mathlete? CA: No, I didn’t like contests. I was a good speller too and did one spelling contest and that was it for me.
PGN: Do you remember what word you got stumped on? CA: I didn’t — I won the contest. But the competitions weren’t something that I enjoyed, so my mother thankfully didn’t force me to do any of them.
PGN: What did you do for fun? CA: I liked to play outside with my friends, but my parents were really strict so while my friends were still out playing, I had to come in the house. I felt a little slighted there but I also had music. In junior high, I started playing the piano and that took up a lot of my time.
PGN: Were you a mama’s boy? CA: Um, there’s no “were” — I still am!
PGN: Any pets? CA: Not growing up. But as an adult, a former partner and I had a Jack Russell. When we broke up we had shared custody. Two weeks with me, two weeks with him. It got crazy because we both traveled a lot so we eventually agreed to give the dog to his mother, who still has him. I had another dog recently but as things got busy, I realized that I wasn’t being fair to him. He’d be in a crate for hours during the day and that was too much. So I got him a new home as well.
PGN: Did you go for higher learning? CA: I did but I didn’t finish. I fell into the trap that a lot of kids do. When you first get to college they give you credit card, credit card, credit card and I was taking, taking, taking … spending, spending, spending. My father was like, “I’m not paying your tuition and your bills.” So I had to leave school and get a job to pay off my debts. But by the grace of God, I was always able to have a good job.
PGN: What was your first job? CA: For my first job, I did the payroll for a manufacturing company called Electro-Nite. I was the payroll coordinator for the entire factory.
PGN: That’s a pretty impressive first job. CA: It was because of my math skills. And my uncle was the president of the union so he knew people at the factory and got me an introduction.
PGN: What is it about numbers that you like? CA: My mother got me into it. Even before I started school, she taught me math and I loved it. I’m the type of person who doesn’t like to be stumped. Math was a mystery and I was always determined to figure it out.
PGN: Are you good with puzzles? CA: I was. I don’t have time to do them anymore. But I will say I am pretty good at the game Words with Friends.
PGN: What book would I find on your nightstand? CA: I enjoy reading E. Lynn Harris books, so it would have to be one of his books. Not sure which one ’cause I can’t pick a favorite, but I have all of his work.
PGN: And what are you doing now? CA: I am currently seeking employment in human resources. After Electro-Nite, I did two more payroll jobs and then I got out of that. I switched and I’ve been working until recently as a human resources manager but they downsized and laid off a number of people at my company.
PGN: What got you from numbers to people? CA: Believe it or not, every job I’ve ever had has been through a connection. God has blessed me like that. My boss in the payroll department transferred over to human resources and she took me with her. She was like, “You’re coming with me.” And I said, “Oh, OK.” She actually went on to a different company and asked me to join her again, but this time she gave me a choice. [Laughs.] I guess since I stayed and got downsized, I probably should have taken her up on it! But I think everything happens for a reason. When I lost my job, my family was upset for me. I wasn’t as fazed by it and then I found out two months later that my best friend was dying of cancer, so I was able to care for him until he passed. If I’d been working, I wouldn’t have been able to be there for him and take him to the doctor’s, etc.
PGN: How did you become an activist? CA: I started out way back when before they organized Philadelphia Black Gay Pride. I am one of the founders of the PHIRM, an organization that hosted parties during the Penn Relay Weekend about two years prior to the organizing of PBGP. When PBGP was organized, the PHIRM became a part of the greater organization. I joined the board of PBGP and, in 2006, I became the president. The organization has really grown over the years — it’s obviously not just parties anymore. We do programs and workshops to make sure the community is involved and educated and trying to make a difference in the world. We also do a lot of youth programming and outreach; after all, they are our future. We recently started a scholarship fund. PGN: I know things get pretty wild around Penn Relay time. What was the wildest party? CA: Our first couple parties for the PHIRM were at the African American Museum in Philadelphia. If you know that building, you know how special that was and we had the whole thing — auditorium, first floor, second floor and the third floor — filled with people. It was our first party and it was huge! It went all night long and we were the buzz of the community after that. And we were known for having nice events, never any fighting or problems like that. But once I got active with the Pride work, I kind of fizzled out of the party stuff. We’re all in our 40s now so I think everyone was tired of that part. One by one people dropped out and moved on to other things.
PGN: As the executive director of PBGP, what are some of the concerns of the black community that you don’t find addressed in the mainstream LGBT community? CA: I think everything is addressed but perhaps with not as much focus as there needs to be. The rate of AIDS in the black community is growing tremendously and it’s not necessarily in the forefront of everyone’s mind. It’s there, but just not addressed as strongly as it needs to be. Marriage equality is another thing. We have a board member and she and her partner just had a lovely ceremony but it’s not recognized by the state of Pennsylvania and it’s just not right. They should have the same rights as everyone else. We all should. Hey, maybe one day when I find someone, I might want to get married.
PGN: Are you a romantic? And if so, what’s the most romantic thing you’ve done? CA: Hmmn, that’s a hard question because I think everything I do is romantic. [Laughs.] No, I’m just playing. But I do like to surprise people. I guess it would be for the last person I was dating. For his 40th birthday I gave him 40 presents and went on four trips. I couldn’t afford 40, but I did one for each decade. I did two trips back to back, came home for a week and then went for two more. I tried to do everything within a 30-day radius of his birthday.
PGN: Tell me about your culinary triumphs. CA: Well, people tell me I cook well, but I’m not a big fan of cooking. I do like to bake, though. People will ask me to make things for them and I do. Even my mother — who is the one who taught me — calls me for things. I’m like, “Mom, I got the recipe from you!” And she’ll say, “Yeah, but yours come out better … ” There may be some reverse psychology involved there.
PGN: Any hobbies? CA: Well, it’s not a hobby but I’m a church organist. It’s a second job for me: I’ve been playing in the church for about 28 years.
PGN: And what’s your connection to flea markets? CA: Well, as you may have figured out from my running up the credit cards in college, I’m a shopoholic. It’s calmed down a lot but I still love shopping. But now, when I’m finished with something, I turn it over by selling it at flea markets. I sell a lot of things: I’ve got tables and racks and a whole set-up. I also do some interior design so I buy and sell a lot of stuff for that.
PGN: Back to PBGP, tell me how it’s grown. CA: When I first became president, it was only Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I got a little ambitious and now it’s an eight-day affair, Sunday to Sunday. PGN: A moment that moved you? CA: I got an anonymous message from someone saying that the changes that I made to Pride were really great and that he’d stopped coming out because it was all parties but now he enjoys going. I don’t know who the person was, but it was nice to know that someone took notice and responded to what we were trying to do.
PGN: How do you answer people who ask, Why do we need Black Gay Pride? Doesn’t it segregate the LGBT community even more? CA: Even though we’re part of Pride, we’re not as visible during Pride, though in Philadelphia it has changed. Fran Price is a good friend of mine and she called me last night to let me know which of our events she’s coming to. But there’s still a need for a space of our own — a space where people who identify culturally with each other can be together. And though it says Black Gay Pride, it’s for all people of color. And we’ll still be at Pride in June and OutFest and all other LGBT events.
PGN: To me, it’s the same as having a Women’s History Month or even a women’s bar. We participate in mainstream events, but sometimes want a time or place where the focus is on our concerns. CA: Exactly. PGN: And PBGP is welcoming to all people. CA: Oh yes, we used to have an event called Sing Out Strong and the last winner was Josh Middleton and he’s white. And our past pageant winner was Alexis Cartier who is Latino.
PGN: How was your coming out? CA: It wasn’t accepted at first. My mother would say, “You need to stop hanging around such and such.” I’d ask her why and she’d say, “You know why.” Then as I got older and she got more accepting, she got to the point that if she hadn’t seen someone around for a bit she’d say, “Did y’all break up?” So we never had an official conversation about it, she kind of just let me know she knew.
PGN: And the rest of the family? CA: My sister has been to a number of our events, but my mother’s not there yet. With the rest of my family I don’t even go down that road. If they travel it, I’ll go there with them: If they ask, I’ll tell, but generally we just leave it alone.
PGN: How did you first know you were gay? CA: A friend and I were “experimenting” and I realized that I enjoyed it more than expected. I still fought it and had girlfriends until I was in college and finally decided, Let me stop playing. I’d always, always had a girlfriend up until then. PGN: Are you in touch with any of them? CA: The last one. In fact, she’s been to some of our events. She and her husband just had dinner at my house a few months ago.
PGN: I’m happiest when … CA: This is going to sound so bad. When I’m shopping.
PGN: And finally, what are some of the things that people can look forward to this weekend? CA: Friday night we’re honoring Patrick Murphy at our opening reception with our first LGBT-Friendly Politician of the Year award. He was the lead sponsor behind the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Saturday, we have a great party, Caribbean Heat at the Crown Plaza. This is our fifth year for the pageant. And on Sunday at 11 a.m. there’s a worship service with Pastor Donte Jones. We’ve already chosen the new Mr. and Miss Black Gay Philadelphia. Congratulations to [Mr.] Barron George and [Miss] Joy Marnier!
For more information, go to www.phillyblackpride.org.
To suggest a community member for “Family Portrait,” write to [email protected].