For those of you unfamiliar, the seven principles of Kwanzaa are as follows:
1) Umoja (unity): To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.
2) Kujichagulia (self-determination): To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.
3) Ujima (collective work and responsibility): To build and maintain our community together and to make our brother’s and sister’s problems, our problems and to solve them together.
4) Ujamaa (collective economics): To build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them.
5) Nia (purpose): To make as our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness. To be responsible to those who came before and to those who will follow.
6) Kuumba (creativity): Using creativity and imagination to make our communities better than what we inherited.
7) Imani (faith): Believing in our people, our families, our educators, our leaders and the righteousness of the African-American struggle.
Though founded for the African-American community, we could all stand to embrace the seven principles. In the spirit of Kwanzaa and community, Colours, Elements and a number of LGBT groups are partnering for a communal celebration. The free Dec. 28 event will be held at 3801 Market St. Last year we spoke to Robert K. Burns, the inspiring executive director of Colours who died earlier this month. For this year’s event, we spoke to another inspiring community leader, Roberta Gallaway, one of the organizers of the event.
PGN: Tell me a little about yourself. RG: I was born in Philadelphia but was raised in a little town in Virginia called Tappahannock, which was on the banks of the Rappahannock River.
PGN: What was life like on the river? RG: Very rural country living. In the summer I helped pick and can vegetables, I was a tomboy and climbed trees and played outdoors. We did a lot of crabbing too. It was interesting. I was a foster child but didn’t know it.
PGN: [Laughs.] I went crabbing once and was so afraid the crabs were going to grab my ankles, I wore shoes and socks into the water. RG: That sounds like my daughter! But when I was a kid, we used to put chicken into a net and throw it in the water. We’d go play for a while and then, when we came back, we’d pull up the net and it would be full of crabs that got stuck in the net trying to get to the chicken. We’d build a fire and cook them right there and eat them by the river. [Laughs.] As I said … country life.
PGN: That sounds delicious. How did you find out you were a foster child? RG: My foster mother passed away when I was about 7. Being 7 you know, you always want to touch the things they tell you expressly not to. I was exploring and found a paper that had my name on it but instead of saying Roberta Gary, which was my name, it said Roberta Fredericks. I was like, “Who is that?” It turned out it was me and that my birth mom had given me up when I was about 4 months old. After my foster mother died, I stayed with my [foster] father for a while, but I was being sexually abused by him during that time. When I was 12 they took me away and I ended up back in the system. I was transferred from place to place and ended up with a family in Richmond, Va.
PGN: Who helped you get through it? RG: I had two foster families that had a big impact on my life. The first was a foster mother I went with when I was 13. She really helped teach me what a good mother should be. She was my mom and taught me how a young lady was supposed to behave and act and — just as important — what we were not supposed to do. She gave heartfelt motherly advice and chastisement. Unfortunately, when I was 16, she passed away unexpectedly. I was really distraught and tried to commit suicide and spent my 17th birthday in a hospital. But then I was placed with another family and my new foster mother became the backbone of my life. She also taught me things about being a young lady. She made sure I went to school and acted right. I got a sense of what a real family should be like. Those two women had a big impact on making me the woman I am today.
PGN: What was your favorite class in school? RG: Biology. I took an honors class and we did nothing but dissecting — frogs, pigs, everything. I loved it, until they decided to do a snake. I was not a fan of that move, and I had to say, “Noooooo, no, no.” It was not going to happen. But one person volunteered to do it and the rest of us watched.
PGN: So, what did you want to be when you grew up? RG: Oh wow, I’m still growing up. But when I was very young I wanted to be a nurse or something in the medical field. [Laughs.] That changed quickly.
PGN: And what do you want now? RG: Well, when I do grow up, I want to be a motivational speaker. I’d like to be the female version of Les Brown. I was working in administration but am currently looking for employment. I keep busy though. Right now I’m working as a rape counselor with Women Organized Against Rape as well as volunteering with Colours, where I’m on the advisory board and facilitate the Tuesday’s Drop In, sit in as an ally for Sisters United, which is a trans-woman group, and facilitate the Sistah 2 Sistah group, which is a youth lesbian group. I’m also a part of Fire Island Black Out and of course I work with Elements, currently helping to coordinate Kwanzaa night. All the things I want to do when I grow up!
PGN: The Elements mission states, “Our mission is to create and to sustain a safe space for LGBTQ womyn to connect and dialogue while increasing visibility, promoting holistic healing, and addressing key issues within our communities that will move us towards a more just society.” What are some of the key issues facing LGBTQ women of color? RG: Being a woman is a struggle, being African American is a struggle and being LGBTQ is a struggle, so when you combine all three, it’s a lot for one to handle. It’s the same for any woman of color — African American, Latino, Asian. One of the hardest things is getting our voices heard, so we have to speak louder and that sometimes gets mistaken for aggression. Another challenge is that we tend to congregate amongst ourselves: It can be a little frightening to go into the unfamiliar. We want to try to find ways to bring us all together as a community. For instance, the Kwanzaa event is open to anyone and it’s free of charge.
PGN: I know that a lot of times, the concerns of the larger LGBT community don’t always match the concerns of other groups. For instance, gay marriage is not necessarily a big issue for parts of the community that are more concerned with health care and other issues. RG: True. Not that we don’t want that, but if you ask a group of LGBT women of color, that’s probably not their top priority: We would be more concerned about being heard and respected in the community [and] finding a way to make the LGBTQ community more inclusive and acting as a unit.
PGN: You’re a motivational speaker. Describe someone who’s motivated you. RG: Andrea LaMour Harrington. She’s had a difficult life and yet always come through with a positive outlook. She’s a transwoman who was ostracized by her birth family and given a hard time and yet she survived and become a pillar of not just the trans community, but the community at large. Knowing her story, I’m amazed by her. I remember you did her Portrait a while back.
PGN: Yes, I did her Portrait in 2006 and my ex used to sing with her. RG: For real? Small world. Andrea has such a beautiful voice and so much talent.
PGN: Who was your first love? RG: Warren Smith. I was 17 and he was 25. It was a summer love because I was getting ready to start school and I didn’t think boys and school mixed.
PGN: Where did you go to school? RG: VCU, Virginia Commonwealth University.
PGN: OK, some random questions. You’ve lived in the North and the South — would you rather be hot or cold? RG: Cold!
PGN: What’s the worst advice you ever gave? RG: [Laughs.] You should stay with him.
PGN: What is the best gift you have ever received? RG: A spa day when my kids were young. Being a mommy, it was fantastic to have four hours of nothing but pampering and peace and quiet.
PGN: Tell me about your kids. RG: I have a son named Toyre, he’s 21 and the most awesome young man I could wish for. He’s the man of my life, my rock. He’s at home right now because he’s switching schools and when I’m sad I can cry on his shoulder; when I need a laugh, he’ll pick me up. I’ve never had a day of trouble with him. My daughter is Alesheya and, oh my goodness: She’s a sophomore at Lincoln University with a double major in early childhood education and performance. She sings like a songbird. God has blessed me with two phenomenal gifts.
PGN: Do you collect anything? RG: [Laughs.] OK, I’m obsessed with Hello Kitty. I’m a fanatic — fanatic! I have a room with Hello Kitty everywhere: It’s on my computer, I use it as my screen saver. I even have a Hello Kitty tattoo.
PGN: Coming out? RG: Well, I’m what people call a newbie. I’ve only been out three years. I was previously married and had been in a long-term relationship for 13 years. We separated and, for the first time in my life, I was just over men in general. It was like, uh, really? I think I’d grown and wasn’t going to take things that I might have put up with in the past. I met a woman online and we decided to meet. [Laughs.] I was a lesbian from that day forward. I told my children a few months later. My son took it well: He was just glad I was happy. My daughter took it a little harder. She was like, “My mom is gay and I’m going to an all-girls’ school!” And when I say I came out, I came out with a bang. Everyone knew … young men who I befriended who were extremely flamboyant told me I was “extra” gay! I hit the ground running and wanted to be a part of everything gay I could find.
PGN: What can we look forward to at Kwanzaa? RG: The program is going to be a little different this year. We are going to focus more on the principles of Kwanzaa. We will have entertainment, but it will fit into the categories of the seven principles. Well, as much as possible: It’s hard to have a drag show on, say, Ujamaa. We are going to focus on the elders and what the celebration really means. We want you to feel it in your heart.
PGN: My family had a Kwanzaa celebration where we wrote the names of each person who we’d lost on Christmas balls. We passed them around and each person took a ball and shared a personal memory about the person they picked. RG: In that vein, we will be doing a tribute to Robert Burns, the executive director of Colours, who we lost this month. They are the founding group for the event. The night will also include a tribute through the pouring of libations to celebrate our ancestors, in addition to a full night of live entertainment that will include spoken word, live vocal performance and dance.
PGN: Where is it going to be held? RG: This year we’re in a new spot at 3801 Market. There’s an open reception with food and vendors at 6 p.m. and then we will have a drum circle that will set the tone for the night. The celebration runs until 9 p.m.
To suggest a community member for “Family Portrait,” write to [email protected].