As the son of the general manager of Canadian hockey team the Toronto Maple Leafs, Brendan Burke, a hockey player himself, made inroads against homophobia in sports when he came out publicly in 2009 — but a few months later, he was killed in a car accident. His family, however, has spent the last year making sure his message was not lost with him.
Brendan’s brother, Patrick, is a recruiter for the Philadelphia Flyers and, along with his father Brian and other family members, has been meeting with young people and athletes around the country and beyond to discuss the importance of LGBT acceptance.
Patrick Burke said his LGBT activism is a direct result of his brother’s coming out.
Brendan came out to his family during Christmastime of 2007, when he was 19.
“I was coming back from a scouting trip and asked him to help me get my bags from the car and while we were out there, he said, ‘There’s something important I have to tell you,’ and then he said, ‘I’m gay,’” Patrick recalled. “I didn’t know if he was joking or serious at first and when he said he was serious, I just told him it was OK with me and didn’t change anything and he gave me a big hug. When we went back in, I yelled to my mom that she owed me 20 bucks because I had told her he was gay. But he was the first person in my life who I knew who was openly gay and it really crystallized the issue for me. I realized that when someone close to you is gay it doesn’t change a thing. I love my brother very much and am very proud of him and that didn’t change at all just because of who he was.”
When he was in high school, Brendan quit his hockey team for fear that his teammates would discover he was gay but began playing again when he started college.
Patrick said his brother, like countless other gay athletes, was faced with “casual homophobia” in the locker rooms — that which may not be motivated by malice, but ignorance.
Since his brother’s death, Burke has been working with GForce, which spearheads LGBT-advocacy initiatives in the sports world and, through that partnership, has gotten to meet with many aspiring athletes.
“A lot of athletes throw around these slurs on a regular basis and it’s not OK and it’s not excusable but I think they’re using those slurs to mean something else. They’re not necessarily trying to say someone is homosexual but rather are using those words to tell someone they’re being an asshole. But that’s not acceptable,” Burke said.
“What I’ve found since I’ve started doing this outreach is that when you inform athletes that their words really have this meaning and that they’re making their LGBT teammates feel unsafe, they want to start changing the way they talk and act in the locker rooms. They want their teammates to be in a safe environment. Coaches, players, management, agents don’t know much about the issues and I’ve found that they’re excited and happy to have people come in and help educate them who are familiar with the issues — and with my family, we have a foot in both camps because we’re in the sports world but we also are very well-versed on gay issues.”
The issue of homophobia in the sports world has made many headlines this past year, as several high-profile professional sports players dropped antigay slurs.
Flyers player Wayne Simmonds was criticized for allegedly using a slur during a game that was caught on camera, although, because there was no sound on the video, he did not face a fine or other repercussions, as some other professional sports players have.
Burke noted that he has never spoken with Simmonds — or most other Flyers players, as he is based in Boston and his role as a scout keeps him on the road most of the season.
He said he could not comment on the specific incident because of legalities but did say that the NHL’s follow-up is an important, yet often overlooked, addition to the story.
“The NHL released a statement in the aftermath where they announced that going forward the league would treat gay slurs in the same way they do racist comments. They took a firm stance that gay slurs are not acceptable,” Burke said. “That got lost in everything else that was going on, but I think it was a very important statement and one that other leagues are now starting to follow up with. But I think the NHL is well ahead of some other leagues in encouraging diversity and a safe atmosphere for gay athletes.”
Burke noted that a 2006 Sports Illustrated survey that found that nearly 80 percent of NHL players said they would support an openly gay teammate.
Burke added that if a professional American sports figure were to come out, he suspected it likely would make waves more for its historic nature than for the actual impact it would have on the team.
“I think people would be surprised what a non-story it would be for the teammates and the organization,” he said. “I believe fans are ready and, in my talking with management and coaches, none of them would care. When gay athletes start coming forward, I think people will realize that we need good athletes, gay or straight, and I think they would have the full support of their teams.”
Getting young athletes to the point where they’re comfortable enough to come out will be a process, Burke said, one that can be furthered by efforts like the recent “It Gets Better” videos that numerous professional sports teams have produced.
“Any time athletes do any outreach to the gay community, I think it has a lot of value,” he said. “The gay community still has to deal with the unfortunate stereotype that gay men are less masculine, so I think having a masculine role model like a professional athlete standing up and saying that he’s on board with the community can give a lot of hope to young gay people.”
To date, the Flyers have not recorded an “It Gets Better” video.
While the outreach work Burke and his family have done is also meant to change hearts and minds, Burke said it also has been instrumental in helping them come to terms with the loss of his brother.
“For me, it’s been a nice way to have an outlet for my grief and my sadness,” he said. “It’s very important to me that the courage Brendan showed by being the first person associated with the NHL to come out as openly gay should be remembered and his words should be carried on. It’s important to make sure people know what he stood for and what the rest of the Burkes also stand for.”