You don’t have to be a political scientist to recognize that Texas Gov. Rick Perry is an ignorant prick. But I’ve got to hand it to him: He knows how to get people talking. Granted, they’re talking about what an ignorant prick he is, but still.
So congratulations, Mr. Perry, for having what is apparently the most “disliked” video in YouTube history. With over 4,700,000 views, his antigay campaign ad, creatively titled “Strong,” has over 652,300 “dislikes” compared to only a little over 20,460 “likes.”
The ad begins with Perry, clad in a tan jacket, navy blue button-down shirt, black jeans and giant belt buckle, sauntering up a small hill covered in impossibly green grass, a babbling brook in the background. He’s walking in this kind of sideways, awkward way so that he can traverse the manly landscape while still facing the camera. In other words, he isn’t watching where he’s going. It’s an apt metaphor and actually makes a lot of sense.
What doesn’t make sense are the words that come out of his mouth.
“I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian,” he begins, as if that’s something people in America are reluctant to disclose. Now, if he’d said, “I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a vegetarian,” or “I’m not ashamed to admit that I have erectile dysfunction,” I think we’d all be like, “Dude, that took some courage.” But admitting you’re Christian in America? That’s like admitting that you watch TV or that you eat too much processed food.
After his shocking admission he continues, “[B]ut you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.”
Yes, gays can serve openly in the military now. Glad to know Perry got that memo. Though Perry is apparently confused and thinks that what gays are in the military to do is to wage the so-called War on Christmas. This is, of course, a pretend war. No one is fighting against Christmas. It’s just a scheme cooked up by right-wing Christians who enjoy themselves a good ol’ persecution complex.
But Perry’s making it sound like gays are slapping the Christmas out of the mouths of children nationwide. Last time I checked, Christmas is pretty openly celebrated in this country by kids and adults. The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal isn’t preventing any hall-decking or even gay apparel.
“As president, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion,” Perry continues. “And I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage.”
Like the war on Christmas, the war on religion in America also doesn’t exist. And Lord knows Obama isn’t waging one. Of course, Perry wants viewers to associate Obama with radical Muslims hell bent on destroying America.
“Liberal attacks on our religious heritage” is code for “separation of church and state.” So basically Perry and so-called Christians like him want to dismantle a principle that actually helps to protect their religious freedoms.
But that’s the thing. The “freedom” thing. These folks won’t be happy until Christians are afforded special rights and are the only truly free Americans left.
As George Michael says, “You gotta have faith,” and as Rick Perry says, “Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.”
In other words, gays have weakened America and have stolen Christmas. But even more surprisingly, people are still talking about Rick Perry at all.
D’Anne Witkowski has been gay for pay since 2003. She’s a freelance writer and poet (believe it!). When she’s not taking on the creeps of the world, she reviews rock ’n’ roll shows in Detroit with her twin sister.