Yes! Summer is almost over. Soon we will see the tapering off of school-age children running amok and untethered through the city (at least during daylight hours), people with unattractive feet wearing flip-flops, scorching-hot weather, really awfully bad reality television and horrendous traffic going in the direction of any place with a beach.
Plus we get to look forward to our favorite holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, whatever end-of-year religious blowout you subscribe to and New Year’s Eve. There’s also tons of entertainment to be had between now and the end of the holiday season, so we’ve compiled a massive list of events competing for your attention until the dawn of 2012.
THEATER The Arsonists Walnut Street Theatre presents the story of an unemployed circus wrestler and his pyromaniac partner, Aug. 31-Sept. 18 at Studio 5, 825 Walnut St.; 215-574-3550.
How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found Luna Theater Company presents the story of a young executive who reaches his breaking point and decides to disappear, Sept. 1-18 at Adrienne Theater’s Main Stage, 2030 Sansom St.; 215-568-8079.
Aspects of Love Walnut Street Theatre presents the romantic musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber, Sept. 6-Oct. 23, 825 Walnut St.; 215-574-3550.
The Aliens Theatre Exile presents the humorous slacker story Sept. 7-18 at Studio X, 1340 S. 13th St.; 215-218-4022.
Burt & Me Society Hill Playhouse presents the romantic musical comedy featuring the music of Burt Bacharach, Sept. 7-18, 507 S. Eighth St.; 215-923-0211.
Tongue & Groove The comedic troupe performs Sept. 9-16 at The Adrienne Theater Main Stage, 2030 Sansom St.; 215-413-1318.
Traces by 7 Fingers The Montreal-based acrobatic circus-arts company performs Sept. 15-18 at Merriam Theatre, 250 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
Chita Rivera: My Broadway Bristol Riverside Theatre presents the Tony Award-winning singer and actress performing songs from her Broadway career, Sept. 23-25, 120 Radcliffe St., Bristol; 215-785-0100.
Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boyz The gospel musical runs Sept. 27-Oct. 2 at Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
Chicago Media Theater presents the popular musical set in the prohibition era, Sept. 28-Nov. 6, 104 E. State St., Media; 610-891-0100.
August: Osage County Arden Theatre Company presents the Tony Award-winning comedy Sept. 29-Oct.30 at F. Otto Hass Stage, 40 N. Second St.; 215-922-1122.
Carmen The Opera Company of Philadelphia performs the classic Sept. 30-Oct. 14 at Kimmel’s Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
Our Class The Wilma Theater presents the U.S. premiere of the play chronicling the lives of 10 classmates from their childhood in the 1920s to the beginning of the new millennium, Oct. 12-Nov. 13, 265 S. Broad St.; 215-546-7824.
Red Philadelphia Theatre Company presents the 2010 Tony Award winner Oct. 14-Nov. 6 at Suzanne Roberts Theatre, 480 S. Broad St.; 215-985-0420.
Rock of Ages The Tony Award-winning rock musical runs Oct. 18-23 at Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
Drumline Live The percussive musical hits town Oct. 25-26 at Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
The Whipping Man Arden Theatre Company presents the post-Civil War drama Sept. 29-Oct.30 at Arcadia Stage, 40 N. Second St.; 215-922-1122.
Motherhood: The Musical Society Hill Playhouse presents the musical comedy from the creators of “Menopause: The Musical,” Oct. 6-Nov. 13, 507 S. Eighth St.; 215-923-0211.
The King and I Walnut Street Theatre presents the musical by Rodgers & Hammerstein, Nov. 8-Jan. 8, 825 Walnut St.; 215-574-3550.
Cirque Du Soleil: Quidam The newest show from the colorful and acrobatic performance company comes to town Nov. 10-13 at The Liacouras Center, 1776 N. Broad St.; 215-204-2400.
Gruesome Playground Injuries Theatre Exile presents a different kind of love story Nov. 10-Dec. 4 at Philadelphia Shakespeare Theater, 2111 Sansom St.; 215-218-4022.
Billy Elliot: The Musical The musical about a small-town boy who wants to buck tradition to be a dancer, Nov. 16-27 at Kimmel’s Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
Sound of Music Media Theater presents the musical Nov. 22-Jan. 15, 104 E. State St., Media; 610-891-0100.
Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins The award-winning children’s book comes to life Dec. 20-31 at Painted Bride Art Center, 230 Vine St.; 215-925-9914.
Wizard of Oz The classic story hits the stage Dec. 27-28 at Kimmel’s Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
MUSIC Journey The rock band performs 8 p.m. Sept. 3 at the Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa Event Center, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J.; 609-317-1000.
Erasure The synthpop group performs 8 p.m. Sept. 8 at TLA, 334 South St.; 215-922-1011.
Antigone Rising The all-female rock band performs 7:30 p.m. Sept. 9 at Tin Angel, 20 N. Second St.; 215-928-0770.
Rick Springfield The rock guitarist performs 9 p.m. Sept. 9 at the Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa Music Box, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J.; 609-317-1000.
Melissa Ferrick The out singer-songwriter performs 7:30 p.m. Sept. 11 at World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.; 215-222-1400.
Blondie The new-wave group performs 9 p.m. Sept. 16 at the Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa Music Box, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J.; 609-317-1000.
Erin McKeown The out singer-songwriter performs 9 p.m. Sept. 16 at World Cafe Live at the Queen, 500 N. Market St., Wilmington, Del.; 215-222-1400.
Blink-182 and My Chemical Romance The rock bands perform 7 p.m. Sept. 17 at Susquehanna Bank Center, 1 Harbour Blvd., Camden, N.J.; 856-365-1300.
Roger Daltry The singer performs “Tommy” and other Who classics 7:30 p.m. Sept. 21 at The Mann Center for the Performing Arts, 5201 Parkside Ave.; 215-546-7900.
The Human League and Men Without Hats The new-wave groups perform 8 p.m. Sept 21 at Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside; 215-572-7650.
O.M.D. The 1980s synth-pop group performs 8 p.m. Sept. 22 at TLA, 334 South St.; 215-922-1011.
Enrique Iglesias The Latin pop superstar performs 8 p.m. Sept. 23 at Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St.; 215-336-3600.
Deadmau5 The techno artist performs 10 p.m. Sept. 24 at the Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa Event Center, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J.; 609-317-1000.
k.d. lang and The Siss Boom Bang The out country singer performs 8 p.m. Sept. 29 at Kimmel’s Verizon Hall, 260 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5847.
Michael Monroe of Hanoi Rocks The gram-rock singer performs 9 p.m. Sept. 30 at the Trocadero Theatre, 1003 Arch St.; 215-922-6888.
Spin Doctors The alt-rock band performs 8 p.m. Oct. 14 at World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.; 215-222-1400.
Duran Duran The pop group performs 8 p.m. Oct. 17 at Tower Theatre, 19 S. 69th St., Upper Darby; 610-352-2887.
Hanson The pop-rock group performs 8 p.m. Oct. 20 at TLA, 334 South St.; 215-922-1011.
Howard Jones The new-wave singer performs 8 p.m. Oct. 20 at Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside; 215-572-7650.
Cyndi Lauper The pop star sings the blues 8 p.m. Oct. 21 at Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside; 215-572-7650.
The Black Cat Cabaret featuring Karen Gross The singer performs 7:30 p.m. Oct. 28 at Tin Angel, 20 N. Second St.; 215-928-0770.
Duran Duran The pop-rock band performs 8 p.m. Oct. 29 at the Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa Event Center, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J.; 609-317-1000.
Girlyman The folk group featuring out members performs 7:30 p.m. Nov. 2 at World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.; 215-222-1400.
Jay-Z and Kayne West The hip-hop superstars perform 8 p.m. Nov. 2 at Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St.; 215-336-3600.
Rasputina The cello-driven band performs 8 p.m. Nov. 2 at World Cafe Live at the Queen, 500 N. Market St., Wilmington, Del.; 215-222-1400.
Tony Bennett The singer performs 8 p.m. Nov. 4 at Kimmel’s Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
Shelby Lynne The country singer performs 7:30 p.m. Nov. 5-6 at Tin Angel, 20 N. Second St.; 215-928-0770.
Chris Brown, Kelly Rowland and T-Pain The R&B and hip-hop artists perform 7:30 p.m. Nov. 10 at Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St.; 215-336-3600.
Foo Fighters The rock band performs 8 p.m. Nov. 10 at Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St.; 215-336-3600.
Joan Baez The folk singer performs 8 p.m. Nov. 12 at Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside; 215-572-7650.
Catie Curtis The out singer-songwriter performs at 8 p.m. Nov. 19 at World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.; 215-222-1400.
Trans-Siberian Orchestra The holiday-themed hard-rock band performs 8 p.m. Nov. 19 at Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St.; 215-336-3600.
Still Black, Still Proud: An African Tribute to James Brown International talent celebrates the lasting legacy of the “Godfather of Soul,” 7 p.m. Nov. 20 at Zellerbach Theatre, 3680 Walnut St.; 215-898-3900.
Tori Amos The singer and pianist performs 7:30 p.m. Dec. 1 at Kimmel’s Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
VNV Nation The electronic group performs 7:30 p.m. Dec. 10 at the Trocadero Theatre, 1003 Arch St.; 215-922-6888.
DANCE Russian Suite The Pennsylvania Ballet performs the North American premiere of “Jeu de Cartes” by Alexei Ratmansky, Oct. 20-23 at Kimmel’s Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
PHILADANCO The celebrated dance troupe performs Nov. 4-6 at Kimmel’s Perelman Theater, 260 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5847.
Chunky Move The Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts presents the Australian dance company that thrives on theatrical invention and high-tech special effects, Nov. 17-19 at Zellerbach Theatre, 3680 Walnut St.; 215-898-3900.
National Acrobats of the People’s Republic of China Witness mind-boggling acts of contortion 3 p.m. Nov. 20 at Kimmel’s Verizon Hall, 260 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
Compagnie Marie Chouinard The Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts presents the acclaimed dance company Dec. 8-10 at Zellerbach Theatre, 3680 Walnut St.; 215-898-3900.
Champions of Dance The Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts presents world-renowned dancers from “Dancing with the Stars” Dec. 15-18 at Zellerbach Theatre, 3680 Walnut St.; 215-898-3900.
CABARET Darren Williams in a Tribute to Peter Allen The singer performs 8:30 p.m. Sept. 16-17 at Bob Egan’s New Hope, Ramada Inn, 6426 Lower York Road, New Hope; 215-862-5225.
Peek-A-Boo Revue Philadelphia’s neo-burlesque troupe performs 8 p.m. Sept. 23 at World Cafe Live at the Queen, 500 N. Market St., Wilmington, Del.; 215-222-1400.
Salsa Caliente! 2.0 The cabaret dance-party series featuring Latin big bands makes it hot 8 p.m. Oct. 8 at The Painted Bride Art Center, 230 Vine St.; 215-925-9914.
BOOKS Justin Vivian Bond The author of “Tango: My Childhood, Backwards and in High Heels” hosts a reading 5:30 p.m. Sept. 10 at Giovanni’s Room, 345 S. 12th St.; 215-923-2960.
Justin Torres The author of “We the Animals” hosts a reading 5:30 p.m. Sept. 20 at Giovanni’s Room, 345 S. 12th St.; 215-923-2960.
Hanne Blank The author of “Big Big Love: A Sex and Relationship Guide for People of Size” hosts a reading 5:30 p.m. Oct. 10 at Giovanni’s Room, 345 S. 12th St.; 215-923-2960.
Jim Leher The author of “Tension City: Inside the Presidential Debates, from Kennedy-Nixon to Obama-McCain,” hosts a reading at 7:30 p.m. Oct. 12 at Central Library, 1901 Vine St.; 215-567-4341.
Tom Mendicino, Frank Anthony Polito and Michael Salvatore The authors of the three novellas that comprise “Remembering Christmas” host a reading at 7:30 p.m. Oct. 12 at Central Library, 1901 Vine St.; 215-567-4341.
John Lithgow The actor and author of “Drama: An Actor’s Education” hosts a reading at 7:30 p.m. Oct. 13 at Central Library, 1901 Vine St.; 215-567-4341.
Chuck Palahniuk The out author hosts a reading of his new book “The Damned,” 2 p.m. Oct. 29 at Central Library, 1901 Vine St.; 215-567-4341.
Anita Hill The author of “Reimagining Equality: Stories of Gender, Race and Finding Home” hosts a reading at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 7 at Central Library, 1901 Vine St.; 215-567-4341.
Tom Brokaw The TV-news personality and author of “The Time of Our Lives: Past, Present, Promise” hosts a reading at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 8 at Central Library, 1901 Vine St.; 215-567-4341.
EXHIBITIONS Rembrandt and the Face of Jesus Philadelphia Museum of Art presents the U.S. debut of an exhibition of works by the great painter, draftsman and printmaker of the Dutch Golden Age, through Oct. 30, 26th Street and the Parkway; 215-763-8100.
Blowing on a Hairy Shoulder/Grief Hunters The Institute of Contemporary Art at the University of Pennsylvania presents an exhibition of works by 20 artists from Israel, Greece, Germany, Belgium, Britain and America that examines the relationships between originality and origin with video, photography, drawing and sculpture, Sept. 7-Dec. 4, 118 S. 36th St.; 215-898-7108.
Men Unwrapped An exhibition of photographer Joe Bowman’s work is on display Sept. 8-Oct. 28 at The William Way LGBT Community Center, 1315 Spruce St.; 215-732-2220.
Here and Now: Prints, Drawings and Photographs by 10 Philadelphia Artists Philadelphia Museum of Art presents the exhibition Sept. 10-Dec. 4, 26th Street and the Parkway; 215-763-8100.
Tristin Lowe: Under the Influence Philadelphia Museum of Art presents an exhibition debuting works from the Philadelphia artist, Oct. 22-Jan. 29, 26th Street and the Parkway; 215-763-8100.
Molly Landreth/Aiden Simon The William Way LGBT Community Center hosts an exhibition of the photographers’ work Nov. 7-Dec. 31 at the center, 1315 Spruce St.; 215-732-2220.
ETC. Chris Tucker The actor and comedian performs at 8 p.m. Sept. 2 at the Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa Event Center, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J.; 609-317-1000.
Lewis Black The comedian performs 9 p.m. Sept. 3-4 at the Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa Music Box, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J.; 609-317-1000.
Gender Reel Festival The East Coast’s only multi-media festival dedicated to enhancing the visibility of gender nonconforming, gender-variant, transgender and transsexual experiences and identities is held Sept. 9-10 at University of the Arts Dorrance Hamilton Hall, 320 S. Broad St.; 267-974-4259.
The Philadelphia Collection The fashion and style event runs Sept. 12-22; www.thephiladelphiacollection.org.
Sinbad The comedian performs 8 p.m. Sept. 24 at Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside; 215-572-7650.
The 2011 Philly Zombie Prom The dead rise and dance, 8 p.m. Sept. 24 at the Trocadero Theatre, 1003 Arch St.; 215-922-6888.
Wanda Sykes The out comedian performs 7:30 p.m. Oct. 9 at Keswick Theater, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside; 215-572-7650.
David Sedaris The out humorist performs Oct. 15 at Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
Brian Posehn The comedian performs 8 p.m. Oct. 20 at the Trocadero Theatre, 1003 Arch St.; 215-922-6888.
David Sedaris The out humorist performs Oct. 15 at Merriam Theater 250 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
Anthony Bourdain and Eric Ripert The two culinary stars dish on the food industry 8 p.m. Nov. 2 at Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St.; 215-790-5800.
Bill O’Reilly and Dennis Miller Want to see a room full of conservatives who have no idea what fun is? Join in 8 p.m. Nov. 26 at the Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa Event Center, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J.; 609-317-1000.