Many individuals who struggle with substance abuse and dependence feel they can beat their addictions on their own. There can be reluctance to ask other people — partners, friends, family, coworkers — for help. Some believe it can be a sign of weakness to seek the support of others, while others feel they would be a burden on those who care about them. Active addiction can be painful and lonely. But the good news is that recovery from substance abuse can help break this cycle of isolation.
Developing a positive support network is important. A support network can be made up of any individuals (not necessarily just those in recovery) who provide positive regard, feedback and encouragement. At the same time, these people should also be willing to honestly and compassionately confront the recovering person when he or she slips up. The process of recovery can sometimes seem frustrating or not worth the time and effort. These times are exactly when the assistance of others becomes crucial. When a person feels there may be no solution, others’ experience, strength and hope can help get him or her through another day. Other recovering individuals have usually gone through similar situations and it can be very useful to gain inspiration and guidance from how they handled (or did not handle) the same problem.
So how does one go about creating a support network? Twelve-step programs, such as AA or NA, can be positive places to meet other recovering individuals. One of the benefits of 12-step programs is that there are literally hundreds of meetings every day at all times. No matter where you are, chances are you can find a meeting. Even if you are unsure whether such programs may be right for you, it could be useful to attend a few to check for yourself. You may find the support you need in those rooms. PGN lists local meetings in its Community Bulletin Board (in print and online); check it out to get more information about the locations and times of 12-step meetings in the area.
If 12-step programs don’t appeal to you, there are many other ways you can create a support network. A peer-counseling program (such as the REACH program, offered by Mazzoni Center) provides you with a “partner” in the recovery process, whose aim is to provide ongoing support. Peer counseling tends to be a flexible and individually oriented approach, focused on helping a person address present needs and concerns and set concrete goals on a path to healthier living.
For some people, simply making an effort to engage in activities that don’t revolve around alcohol is a great way to start. Many local organizations host events, social activities and volunteer opportunities that provide opportunities to meet new people. Volunteering can be an especially rewarding and fun activity. There are many sports clubs in Philadelphia that are open to all, regardless of past experience or skill, and these clubs again can be a great way to meet people outside of bars and clubs. Mazzoni Center’s recently launched “Social Sober Space” meets the third Thursday of every month and provides a safe space for everything from conversation to movies, games, karaoke, dancing and more. There are a lot of options out there for making new friends — just do some research!
It’s also important to restore the supports that we may already have in our lives. When an individual is consumed by addiction, meaningful relationships are often ignored and neglected. Recovery can be an opportunity to repair the wreckage that alcohol and other drugs can cause. Taking the time to call a friend or spending some time with family members or other loved ones can go a long way to reestablish meaningful connections.
It can be humbling to admit that we do not have all the answers and can’t do everything by ourselves. But surrounding ourselves with the support of others can live a freeer, happier life without the use of substances that can often lead to isolation and despair. Take some time today to think about how you can use the help of others in your own personal journey.
There are some great local resources for LGBT individuals in recovery, or those who wish to learn more. Both William Way LGBT Community Center, 1315 Spruce St., and Mazzoni Center offer programs and support groups specifically targeted to our community. For more information, meeting schedules, etc., call the William Way Center at 215-732-2220 or visit www.mazzonicenter.org.