FINALLY!
For the longest time we have been trying to land an interview with outspoken comedian, TV star, Emmy-winner, author, activist, trash-talker, spitfire and all-around gay ally Kathy Griffin. We’ve landed interviews with pretty much all the gay and gay-friendly superstars of comedy (Suzanne Westenhoefer, Margaret Cho, Kate Clinton, Wanda Sykes, etc., etc., etc.) but Miss Griffin has eluded us for years.
“So, I’m your Streisand?” Griffin said when we told her this.
Not really, because we actually want to see you in concert.
Did we say that out loud?
Anyway …
We wore her and her seemingly impenetrable crack team of publicists down on the heels of the latest of her many comedy specials on Bravo, “Whores on Crutches,” just in time for her Nov. 6 performance at the Academy of Music. And the conversation we had was well worth the wait.
Kathy Griffin: I think you should know the guy from The Inquirer is upset that I was talking to you because he feels that he should have gay-ed it up more. And then he fucking confessed he’s a straight and I was like, look, don’t play games with me. You stay in your lane and I’ll stay in mine.
PGN Cool! Is it our imagination or do you have a new hour of material every six months? KG: Yes, I do. I might sound really snobby and like a tool but I find it amusing when I talk to other comedians who work for two years to write 25 minutes. Luckily, my material is not un-similar to Nancy Grace’s breaking news. I enjoy doing a lot of new material because there is so much going on. Let me just tell you about the stuff we’ll be talking about in Philly. Obviously, we’ll be talking about every Lohan from Michael on down. That is a breaking-news type of story. That’s a story that changes daily. So who knows how many press conferences Michael will have had by then or how many time he will have said he is not going to have any more press conferences. Also you should know that [Oct. 29] I’m actually invited to Paris and Nicky Hilton’s Halloween party. So I’ve come a long way, baby, if I’m sitting here telling this to you. You should also know that I’m in fear that the invite is an elaborate punk that Paris has put together for me because I’ve been a little bit tough on Paris over the years. And yet I’m still willing to go because who can fucking resist that shit.
PGN When you walk into a room full of celebrities and they see you, what happens? KG: It’s like a bomb went off, or if you can imagine Judith what’s-her-face from The Times that day that she opened the envelope that she thought was anthrax. It would be like someone in the office getting a powdery envelope and then screaming, “Oh my God! It’s anthrax!” I’m used to it. I’m used to that reaction when I go to “The View.” I’m used to having that reaction with my own family at Thanksgiving. So there are very few places that I go where I walk in and there are cheers. The reaction is usually an uncomfortable shuffling.
PGN Being at the height of your popularity, why are you still getting banned from certain networks or TV shows? KG: You’d have to ask them that. I don’t know why it was OK for Elizabeth Hasselbeck to call me scum on “The View.” When I was there, there was a guest one time that had thrown battery acid at his wife’s face and blinded her and she had nothing to say to him. So I make jokes about Hollywood and politicians and pop culture. But it’s interesting to me that the guy who threw battery acid in his wife’s face didn’t get called shit. But I’m scum. I don’t know. I’ll continue to do it regardless of what I’m banned from. I have to say my favorite standing ban — you might think it’s “Oprah” but that’s too obvious — is “Regis and Kelly.” I have no idea what’s at the bottom of that one. I do like Regis and I know him very well. I don’t know her very well. I think it’s the idea that I might say something inappropriate. I certainly know what I can get away with and what I can’t on TV and I probably know the First Amendment better than any talk-show host. And my lawyers are very busy bees. On the other hand, I enjoy pushing the envelope and at the live show in particular, all bets are off in a big way. If you watch my special “Whores on Crutches” on Bravo, if you buy my New York Times number-one best-seller, if you follow my “Twats on Twitter,” if you watch “My Life on the D-List,” if you pay to come see me in Philly, you deserve to see the stuff you’re not going to see any place else. I promise to bring the heat in ways that I absolutely cannot do on television.
PGN Do you think comedians are the last line of public figures who can say whatever they want? KG: It’s more than that. When you look at how Fox News has indoctrinated people like my 90-year-old alcoholic mother who doesn’t know any better, I believe comedians are the last bastion. I don’t mean to sound artsy, but I think the research showing that more young people get their news from “The Daily Show” than the news is a good thing. “The Daily Show” is more fair and balanced than Fox News. They’re also more fearless than any other news channel. Comedians are more in trouble than we’ve ever been. I’m friends with Don Rickels and he’s not banned from anything. We’ve had many conversations about this so obviously a big part of it is sexism, period. I do so many shows and charity functions where, if there’s a lineup of comedians, I’m the only girl. So the sexism is alive and well. Also, I think there’s a precedent that has been set in the last 10 years in the politically correct movement that is antithetical to comedy. That’s why it just makes me want to fight harder because I feel like in this time people need to come to a live show and blow off steam. I know that people that are coming that night — the gays, the housewives, the straights that were dragged there with their girlfriends and the straights that accidentally like me for “My Life on the D-List” — that’s what that night is for. It’s a night to come and hear very inappropriate material, be a little bit shocked and leave the kids and the Bible at home.
PGN Have you participated in the “It Gets Better” campaign? KG: Not only did I participate, I re-twatted the video. Besides having been kicked of Capitol Hill for DADT, besides marching in Prop. 8 rallies, besides decades of work with the LGBT community … You know what’s funny? I make fun of LGBTQIA. With the A, I’m so happy. It’s like I finally got a letter. As an A, I absolutely did one of those videos. I had one of my friends from CNN help me write it because I wanted to sound like I know what I’m talking about. I’m doing a benefit performance for the Trevor Project and I feel that the hotline truly saves lives. The reason I chose Trevor over so many wonderful organizations like it is that I have a friend who, when he got laid off from his job, said, “I don’t know what to do with myself so I called Trevor and I asked if I could be trained to be someone who works the phone banks for the suicidal gay teens.” And he did and he worked his way up so he could take the calls. I really believe a call like that can save a life. And I’ve actually cold-called them to make sure they’re legit. So on Dec. 16 in Los Angeles, I’m doing a big ol’ benefit for them and giving them a big fat check. In addition to that, I have a dream that it will not be about a check and people will volunteer at places like Trevor and train and learn how to work the phone banks. I’ve toured around the country and you’d be amazed that there are so many places where there are gay teens that think they are the only gay person in their neighborhood or their church, and they’re told you may as well go kill yourself. So I think that it is essential to combine coming out and having a laugh at the craziest darkest shit there is, and then in addition that with my more serious work, the activism, working toward a time when I don’t do a show and someone comes up to me and says, “Ms. Griffin, I think you’re so funny, but before I came to your show here in Knoxville, I don’t think I’ve ever met a gay person.” People still say that to me and then I say to them, “Oh, they’re in church,” and then they kind of turn and walk away. Anyway, that’s the goal. We’re getting there. It’s just taking a little bit longer than we want it to.
PGN Are there any plateaus you haven’t reached with your career yet? KG: Oh, of course. I’ve enjoyed doing the D-List so much and I’m so proud of it. I love my Emmys. But I really would love to do a hybrid show kind of like Larry David’s show or even Jerry Seinfeld’s show, where I still get to play myself but there are so many crazy things that happen to me off-season or when the cameras aren’t there that I don’t get to capture. I can talk about it in my act to a degree but that’s the next show that I’d really like to do. I’m not saying I’m on the A-List, but the D-List isn’t 100-percent truthful anymore and it is a reality show and I believe it should be truthful. So I would love to morph into a hybrid show that’s half-real and half-scripted and still based on all the crazy trouble. Like when I got kicked off “The View,” I can’t do that on “My Life on the D-List” because they would never clear it. But I can reenact it and I could have someone play Elizabeth Hasselbeck and show the stuff that happened during the commercial break that I could never show on a reality show. For me, that is taking it to the next level, being able to go there with no restrictions.
PGN Seeing as you are all over the Bravo network, can you please see what you can do about killing the “Real Housewives’” phenomenon? KG: Look, in my next special called “Whores on Crutches” (aired Nov. 2) I go after the New Jersey Housewives in a way that makes me have to have 24-hour security. So not only am I doing my part, I am literally risking my life because of course I watch them and think they’re ridiculous. But what is amusing to me is occasionally I meet them and they actually have serious conversations with me about the burdens of their fame and they all kind of talk like they’re Meryl Streep. After 25 years of being in television, I find that amusing. But don’t worry. In my special, the New Jersey Housewives go down so hard that I will literally have armed security in Philly.
Kathy Griffin performs at 8 p.m. Nov. 6 at Kimmel’s Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St. For more information, visit www.kathygriffin.net or call (215) 893-1999.
Larry Nichols can be reached at [email protected].