Creep of the Week: Ann Coulter

Perhaps it was Ann Coulter’s very public referral to former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards as a “faggot” that nabbed her an invitation to address a conservative gay group, or maybe it was her recent essay extolling the virtues of Ronald Reagan and his battle against “government endorsement of homosexuality.

Whatever the reason, Coulter, everybody’s favorite anti-gay fag hag, appeared Sept. 21 at her long-awaited Homocon gig: a fundraiser for GOProud, a group of gay conservatives. Anti-gay right-wingers were aghast that Coulter would speak to such a depraved group and some lamented that she’d gone over to the dark side. But they needn’t have worried. Even when talking to a group of homos, she has no problem not being very nice to homos.

“Marriage is not a civil right. You’re not black,” Coulter told the group. “Blacks must be looking at the gays saying, ‘Why can’t we be oppressed like that?’”

Ha, ha, ha. Get it? Because gays are all rich and can afford to hire high-profile guest speakers for their big, fat, gay parties in New York City. Silly gays, always pretending to have problems bigger than where their next martini is coming from. Oh, and also there are no black gays. LOL. WTF.

It was “one of a series of racially insensitive remarks that pervaded her speech,” reported Talking Points Memo. This should come as no surprise since Coulter is widely perceived to be a racist bitch (and yes, I realize that “racist bitch” is not a strong enough term, but I’m trying to be politically correct here).

So, wait — is Ann Coulter saying that civil rights only apply to black people? Apparently so. According to TPM, she told “the crowd that the 14th Amendment only applies to African Americans and that it does not, in fact, apply to women, LGBT people or other minorities.”

Kind of makes me wonder if she’s actually read the 14th Amendment.

Keep in mind that Coulter was made part of the event to lighten things up with her, um, humor.

“The gay left has done their best to take all the fun out of politics, with their endless list of boycotts and protests. Homocon is going to be our annual effort to counter the ‘no fun police’ on the left,” said GOProud Chairman of the Board Christopher Barron. “I can’t think of any conservative more fun to headline our inaugural party than the self-professed ‘right-wing Judy Garland,’ Ann Coulter.”

Really? You can’t think of a conservative who’s “more fun” than Ann Coulter? Maybe that means there really aren’t any “fun” conservatives.

But what do I know? I’m a humorless member of the gay left doing my best to take all the fun out of politics, because of how the gay left doesn’t appreciate how hilarious it is that gays can’t get married. And don’t forget the sidesplitting debate around “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” And the laughs about hate-crimes legislation, or the fact that in many states it’s OK to fire someone for being gay, or deny them hospital visitation rights or a place to live. Stop, my sides. No, seriously. Stop.

But hey, at least we’re not black, right? Am I right? [Crickets chirping.] Guys? What’s the matter? Was it something I said?

Sigh. I guess I just don’t have Ann Coulter’s silver-tongued wit.

D’Anne Witkowski has been gay for pay since 2003. She’s a freelance writer and poet (believe it!). When she’s not taking on the creeps of the world, she reviews rock ’n’ roll shows in Detroit with her twin sister.