Call me overly sensitive, but I always thought it was an insult to black people when Bill Clinton was called America’s “first black president. ”
For one thing, it was as if folks were saying that Bill Clinton was as close as we’d ever get to pigmentation in the White House. But it also set a ridiculously low standard for what it meant to be a friend to minority groups beleaguered by oppression. All he had to do, it seemed, was acknowledge that black people existed and throw some sunshine their way and all of a sudden Clinton’s got a brand-new bag.
Using this same ass-backward standard, Tom McClusky from the Family Research Council is claiming that Barack Obama is America’s first gay president.
“[I]t was argued during his two terms in office that Bill Clinton was ‘our first black president’ because of his supposed liberal policies that would benefit African Americans,” McClusky writes on the FRC’s ominously named Cloakroom blog. “With that argument, shouldn’t Barack Obama already be our ‘first gay president’ due to his liberal policies pushing the homosexual agenda?”
Super-genius logic, Tom. Super-genius. Can we get a Presidential Medal of Freedom pinned to this guy’s nose, please?
It should be noted that McClusky isn’t the first person to pair the “first gay president” label with Obama’s name. Shaun Jacob Halper did that via the Huffington Post back in early 2008. But that was before Obama was even elected. Halper’s column was a litany of what-ifs, wondering if Obama would really be the gay-friendliest president of them all.
Today, anyone who has spent even the time it takes to watch an episode of “Elimidate” in reality knows that Obama is hardly the great presidential savior of gays. All you need for proof is the fact that gay and lesbian members of the military are still getting the boot on his watch.
But apparently anything other than overt abject scorn for gays and lesbians makes you a total fag-hag of a president.
“During the campaign President Obama made it clear he would be a strong advocate for the homosexual agenda when elected, however the bumbling of the health-care debate by his party has been a roadblock for him on two big issues, allowing gays to serve in the military and passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which would allow for special protections for homosexuals, transgendered and transvestites,” writes McClusky.
Now, wait just a minute. That’s a misrepresentation of ENDA. The act does not include transvestites, only “Sweet Transvestites from Transsexual, Transylvania.” There’s a difference, Tom. A difference.
“Since taking office the president and his administration has done all they could to chip away at the protections to the states and the institution of marriage provided by the Defense of Marriage Act,” continues McClusky.
For proof, McClusky offers the fact that gay U.S. diplomats have been granted domestic-partner benefits under Obama. Well gosh, I guess all the homos in America have to do to achieve some semblance of recognition and fairness is become a diplomat. Easy-peasy.
But you know, even if Obama did do away with “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” got federal recognition for same-sex marriage and gave all of the country’s homos a pony, a Nintendo Wii and a lifetime supply of 5-Hour Energy drinks, he still wouldn’t be America’s first gay president. Have you seen Michelle Obama? That lady ain’t no beard.
D’Anne Witkowski is a freelance writer and poet.