Creep of the Week: Harry Jackson

If Washington, D. C., starts letting gays and lesbians get married, then we as a nation are doomed. Even more specifically, the National Cathedral is doomed. In fact, true Christians ought to set fire to it right now lest the gays start marrying in it and/or turn it into a combination bathhouse/dance club/24-hour gym/Asian-fusion bistro.

Or such is the fear/fantasy (it’s so hard to tell the difference sometimes) of Bishop Harry Jackson, a man who has devoted his life to making sure gays are not treated equally in our nation’s capital, lest that send some kind of ungodly message to the rest of the country. Ever since the D.C. Council voted to let gays wed there, Jackson has been in No Homo mode.

Jackson was a recent guest on “Washington Watch Radio,” a program hosted by the Family Research Council’s Tony “I love black people so long as they hate like me” Perkins.

During the show, Perkins lamented the fact that Jackson’s fight to get an antigay, one-man-one-woman proposal passed in D.C. wasn’t netting the same levels of national media coverage as the Tiger Woods sex scandal.

“Now this has not gotten much attention outside of Washington, D.C., with the exception of some groups focused on marriage who talk about it,” Perkins said. “But as far as the press, the media, they have not paid any attention to the battle that is raging here in the nation’s capital over same-sex marriage. This is more than a symbolic issue, this has significance for the whole marriage debate going forward.”

One reason for the lack of national attention could be because there really isn’t a “battle” over same-sex marriage “raging” in D.C. unless you’re one of the key players in the debate. Maybe for everyone else, the D.C. marriage debate is largely a non-issue. They obviously didn’t read the part in the Bible that says two dudes marrying or two ladies feeding each other cake is a sign of the Rapture.

And that’s why folks like Jackson want to make sure that gays don’t get the same rights as everyone else.

“It is a national issue,” Jackson said during the program. “Imagine, Tony, two men coming out of the National Cathedral, rice coming down, them embracing and kissing, on the front page of USA Today. That will lift the spirits of pro-same-sex-marriage advocates around the country.”

Will it? Really? I think that it will depend largely on what the grooms are wearing. Also, throwing rice is so passé. I expect one of those simultaneous releasings of live butterflies or even doves.

In any case, making sure that gay spirits aren’t lifted is part of Jackson’s job as a bishop, apparently. I’m pretty sure that’s what Christians are all about. Jesus, after all, pretty much hated everybody and would throw a fit if he even so much as saw one of his apostles talking to a leper or a prostitute. He’d be all, “Paul, OMG! WTF? WWJD?”

WWJD standing for “What would Jackson do?” That’s Harry Jackson, if you’re nasty.

D’Anne Witkowski has been gay for pay since 2003. She’s a freelance writer and poet (believe it!). When she’s not taking on the creeps of the world, she reviews rock ’n’ roll shows in Detroit with her twin sister and teaches writing at the University of Michigan.

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