This summer, Provence Catering enlisted the help of PGN in finding two local committed LGBT couples deserving of free commitment ceremonies. PGN launched an essay-writing contest in July and asked readers to send in personal stories about why they wanted to take the leap with their partners. Provence pledged to treat the two selected couples to all-expenses-paid ceremonies, with 50-60 guests each, held at the new Chestnut Club in Center City on Valentine’s Day, with the company providing all the food, flowers, photography and décor for the events. The essays from the two winning couples are featured below.
Jeffrey G. Alexander and Greg Diteodoro, Philadelphia
After too many years of searching, it happened.
And it was in the least likely of places — at a volunteer meeting for ActionAIDS of Philadelphia.
I’ve been a volunteer for them for nearly six years as a buddy and a board member. I’m their treasurer.
It was time to introduce yourself to other buddies in the program who were sitting closest to your seat. It just so happened that he was sitting right behind me, close enough to shake my hand during the seven-minute introduction period.
I’d like to say that we both knew at that moment that a match was made. It was instant chemistry, love at first sight.
But I can’t, and I don’t think so!
It wasn’t until our annual volunteer appreciation party that we really got to talk, and I thought, “This one is different. I want to take him out; I think he may be it!”
I work as a bank manager in Center City and I live in Doylestown.
Greg works as a massage therapist, personal trainer, a cantor for several Center City churches and a singer in a band. He lives in Center City.
I read your article in PGN and my heart raced; I didn’t hesitate. I knew this was a sign. It’s something we both want to do, tie the knot, but financially, ouch. I work for the bank — unfortunately, I don’t own it!
So, why get married?
Why now?
Well, I’m 44 and Greg is 45.
I have never been married and never felt the need to.
Not until now.
All that has changed.
I’m ready and excited, and so is he.
I know this guy is it and I know that he feels the same way; that’s the best thing about it all … he feels exactly the same way that I do.
After so many years of sharing my life with my dog Farly, Greg Diteodoro shows up and instantly changes our lives.
I wasn’t looking.
I actually stopped and sorta gave up.
For years, my three sisters kept nagging me to find someone, settle down and get married. My parents agree, Mom said I found my soulmate; after 48 years with Dad, she says we deserve to be miserable in marriage too. They all love him.
Who knew that Greg would have four sisters who say the same thing to him? They all feel just as strong about it and drive him just as crazy.
Greg has 12 nieces and nephews. The oldest one, Stephen, is getting married this April, he is the first to tie the knot and I am certain he wants to see Uncle Greg do the same.
I am hoping that one of us catches the garter.
As you see, we definitely have the support of our family and friends.
We’re just looking for your support now.
We would both love to get married and we would both love to have a ceremony with our family and friends to witness that day.
I have this clear picture in my mind of us at the ceremony; Greg walking down the aisle to me, waiting for him. Grabbing his hand, taking our vows, through the smiles and tears, in front of all of those who love and support us.
I can see us at the reception too, dancing to our first song and holding him as tight as possible. I want everyone to see us dance together, just so they can see how crazy I am about this guy, how much I love him.
We would like nothing more than to experience that. I hope you can help bring these images to life.
I really want to spend the rest of my life with him, to continue our journey as man and man, Jeff and Greg.
And yes, we already have the singer, and seven bridesmaids too!
Sue Krisanda and Lisa Brown, Philadelphia
Lisa and I met on Oct. 7, 2007, which you may remember as the day Outfest was held that year. I had just transferred to Temple University and decided that volunteering at said event would be a good way to make friends in the LGBT community here, and Lisa was looking for a good way to spend a day off work and decided to volunteer herself. I arrived at 8 a.m. and was given the task of taking vendor requests for tables and chairs and assigning people to carry them to the proper location. Lisa was selected to work under me and carry tables and chairs where I told her to. Also assigned to me were several young teenage girls, who decided that spending hours at the nearest Starbucks was a better use of their time, and a drag queen whose unfortunate choice of footwear (4-inch stiletto heels, to be exact) rendered her essentially useless, thereby making Lisa one of the best workers I had, and I certainly took advantage of that (later, she tells me that she was trying to impress me with her work effort).
With our duties complete, Lisa and I decided to explore Outfest together and get to know each other. By the end of the day, she had asked me out (twice, because she was so nervous) and given me an impromptu kiss as I said goodbye. I was a bundle of nerves before our first date a week later, and turns out I had reason to be, as it was a complete disaster. Rather than spending time alone together, we ended up driving all around Philadelphia attempting to locate my roommate whose car had broken down. Despite all that, and having been through hell and back with each other, Lisa proposed to me a year into our relationship. We moved in together and here we are, looking forward to celebrating our two-year anniversary at this year’s Outfest.
So why do I think we deserve this wonderful opportunity being offered by this contest? Well, we’re young. And because we’re young, we are broke and impatient. I will (hopefully) be graduating this coming May, and I have recently sent out my applications to medical schools all over the Northeast. While I am busy with school, Lisa is working full-time in Rio Grande, N.J., and is sacrificing working five days of the week two hours away to keep a roof over my head and food on the table while she works on obtaining a scholarship for flight school. In short, it’s a feat unto itself being able to pay rent on time (somewhat), and the truth is that we have no idea what school I will get into and where we will be a year from now. So we were given a choice: Wait another few years until I am done with school completely to tie the knot, or do it after graduation with a limited amount of time and a budget of $0. We both decided that we would rather not wait that long. Truth be told, the how and when and where part doesn’t matter so much to me. All I need is me and her and it will be perfect. But I know Lisa feels differently. She may smile and say, “Baby, we can have a City Hall ceremony with just my mom there, it doesn’t matter,” but I know she wants the ceremony with all the trimmings. She wants the cake and the catering and she wants her huge, crazy family to be present. So maybe the biggest reason I think we deserve this opportunity, dear reader, is a selfish one. The reason is this: the greatest gift to me would be the ability to give her this opportunity. Since the day I met her, I have been telling her that she is deserving and worthy of the best things that life has to offer, and if it is within my power to give her these things, then I have to try. I have to take this chance and hope for the best.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my story and for providing the lucky winners in the gay community with such a wonderful gift.