A lesbian’s memoir and a gay man searching for self-worth depict queer lives of Afro-Caribbean heritage in print and on DVD this month.
Staceyann Chin’s “The Other Side of Paradise” is a beautiful memoir chronicling the Jamaican-born lesbian’s coming of age. The book’s first two-thirds describe her difficult childhood, with the last part addressing her coming to terms with her homosexuality. Although the story ends before she makes a name for herself as a performer and storyteller in New York City, what she so candidly reveals about her life is both fascinating and heart wrenching.
Chin, who was born of a Jamaican mother and a Chinese father who never acknowledged her, longs for a sense of belonging. This is the overriding theme of her hardscrabble life — abandoned by her mother, she feels unable to fit in with those around her, save her grandmother who loves her but cannot support her. As Chin is shuttled from home to home, she rarely finds happiness. Moreover, in the book’s later chapters, when she attends college, Chin navigates her sexual identity first through anxiety, and then by embracing it to such a fierce degree that she alienates even her most supportive friends.
Chin has a large personality and a big mouth, which explains why her prose is so engaging and well written. She talks about things others prefer not to discuss — even when it gets her in trouble (which it does, often). In fact, Chin often finds herself lying to classmates and the women (her grandmother, various aunts) who raise her as a way of coping with her insecurities. Eventually she lies to her friends when it comes to her sexuality, showing how her unease and need to “hide” extends throughout her young adulthood.
Despite being taught manners and raised to be religious and respect God, Chin is repeatedly told she “has the Devil in her.” While this may be an excuse for her mischievous behavior as a child, it also is a fair claim for her sexuality, as she recounts Jamaicans’ low tolerance for homosexuality.
Much of “The Other Side of Paradise” shows Chin suffering at the hands of others. But these episodes inspire her to study hard to make something of herself and, as the book shows, these moments are inspiring. Sucking up the disappointments she experiences when her Aunt June reads her private journal or ignores the sexual abuse Chin’s cousins dole out, Chin understands that education provides her only chance of escape.
Happily for Chin, her study strategy pays off. When she is asked to give a graduation speech at school, she is rousing. Her success here further prompts her to start talking openly and honestly about her life and, in college, she becomes more confident and more political, defiantly shaving her head and campaigning for LGBT rights and awareness.
Chin’s life is thorny, yet “The Other Side of Paradise” has its comic moments. When Chin discovers a dirty magazine that excites her, she gets herself into trouble trying to appreciate it. Likewise, an episode involving her first period becomes a painfully funny story that shows how much Chin can laugh at herself, but also find herself in the process.
This is a remarkable — and remarkably personal — account from a wonderful storyteller. It is one that should be read for its author’s unflinching self-examination and her infectious energy, as well as her messages of hope and self-determination.
“Finding Me” is writer/director Roger S. Omeus Jr.’s well-intentioned but slapdash film about Faybien (RayMartell Moore), a Haitian-American trying to figure out what he wants in his life. After dropping out of school and taking a low-paying job selling shoes at the mall, Faybien is lost and flailing. Uncomfortable in his own skin, he feels pressure from his disapproving father (Ron De Suze) even as he receives support from his friends Amera (J’Nara Corbin) and Greg (Eugene Turner), a bisexual.
Faybien wants to better his life but he cares, perhaps too much, what other people think about him. This inhibits his romance with the attractive Lonnie (Derrick L. Briggs) and often strains his friendships. Both Amera and Greg eventually tire of Faybien’s “woe is me” routine and tell him to stop complaining and work at fixing his situation. Viewers will likely feel the same.
Much of “Finding Me” consists of Faybien moping and complaining about his situation, without ever being proactive about it. It becomes difficult to empathize with him or find gratification in his few efforts to improve his lot in life. Furthermore, issues about the feelings toward homosexuality in the African-American and Caribbean communities are expressed mostly through Faybien’s internalized self-hatred.
Part of the problem with “Finding Me” is its amateurishness. While Omeus has affection for his characters, the film is so poorly staged (with characters in conversation facing away from each other) and broadly acted (save Briggs, who is magnetic), it never seems credible. The plotting and editing run toward the haphazard, with Faybien complaining that Lonnie is a workaholic without any real evidence of this onscreen. Likewise, while Omeus does his best with an ultra-low budget, it is distracting when the wind is more prominent than the characters’ voices.
“Finding Me” is all about Faybien’s struggles — but viewers struggle too.