Jeffrey C. Sotland must have a heck of a time deciding what to wear each day. As a first baseman and commissioner of the City of Brotherly Love Softball League, does he pull out his baseball cap? Or does he don an apron as the co-owner of new University City restaurant Mikey’s American Grill & Sports Bar? Does he pull out a cowboy hat from his former days as a member of the Liberty Gay Rodeo Association, or is it a three-piece suit for his duties as a partner at the law firm of Mintzer, Sarowitz, Zeris, Ledva & Meyers, LLP? Or perhaps something historical for his job as a board member of the Philadelphia Gay Tourism Caucus? When PGN spoke with Sotland, it was just a simple button-down shirt.
PGN: Among other things, you are the tourist guy. Where are you from? JS: Newburgh, N.Y., until I went away to college when I was 18. I went to a small liberal-arts school in southern Illinois, Blackburn College. I majored in political science and minored in economics. We only had about 450 students, so it was very intimate. I was one of only three Jewish students at school my first year and, when I graduated, I was the only Jewish student. I lived with students who had relatives who were members of the KKK and to them, it was a badge of honor, something to be proud of. But for me, it was one of the reasons I left New York — to be around people who lived and thought differently. It was funny: I didn’t face any outright discrimination, but people would make comments that they didn’t realize were derogatory. They were just terms that they were used to using and, in their ignorance of the world, didn’t know any better. They had more issues with black students coming in from Chicago and there were some interesting dynamics that came out of those clashes. I was the co-editor of the school newspaper and we wrote some articles about the events — it could be intense. Then I came back east to go to Dickinson School of law in Carlisle, Pa. For some reason, I thought Harrisburg would be an exciting place to be. It was not! I did a year of general practice at a firm there and then I got a job opportunity that would put me in Philadelphia for six months on my way to Pittsburgh. I never made it to Pittsburgh. I’m still with that same firm: There were about 12 people when I started and now we have about 65.
PGN: What type of law do you practice? JS: It’s all litigation, mostly insurance defense work. I work a lot with the auto industry.
PGN: What’s an exciting case you’ve had to work on? JS: I do property damage, building collapses and fires, that sort of thing. Non-personal injury such as architectural malpractice and engineering malpractice. I worked on Pat Croce’s case when he had the motorcycle accident and nearly severed his leg. His best friend accidentally hit him in a freak accident. His insurance company filed for his injuries and there were a lot of interesting things we had to deal with. He was an interesting guy and is just who he appears to be. It’s the people that you meet along the way, rather than the cases that you take, that make it interesting.
PGN: So how have you ended up in the restaurant business? JS: Years and years ago my father opened up a small hamburger joint called Hamburger Choo-Choo. He also went into insurance and then, about the time I was born, he moved to Newburgh and opened a catering business with a business partner. They were the only Kosher caterers in the tri-county area, so they did every bar and bat mitzvah and Jewish wedding for years. He originally wanted to go to law school, but I was a bit of a surprise baby, so he never went. All of us kids worked for the catering company. My brother Steven went to school for accounting and then switched to culinary school. When I came back from Illinois, I stayed far away from the family business. My brother continued and was very successful. About a year ago, we decided to open something up in this area and, believe it or not, we were just looking for a small neighborhood bar with no food component. Somehow we ended up with this — a 120-seat restaurant with a full menu.
PGN: What made you decide to go in on it? JS: We felt it was a place that was missing its mark. It was located basically on a college campus and yet not catering to students. We opened in October of last year.
PGN: What was the opening like? JS: It was crazy. We opened during the end of the World Series. Our first night was the first half of the last game that got rained out, our second night was the last night of the World Series and our third night open was the night of the parade. After the parade, everyone came up Chestnut Street on their way back to University City and came in here for drinks. You couldn’t be in business for a year and be expected to handle that kind of business and it was our first week.
PGN: Who is the sports enthusiast? JS: We both are. But it was more about getting the proper atmosphere for the demographic we were catering to than any personal likes on our part. During the day, we have all administrators and teachers, but come 5 o’clock, it’s all students.
PGN: Were you athletic as a kid? JS: No. I didn’t play any organized sports really until I came to Philadelphia and joined the City of Brotherly Love Softball League. I played on some pick-up teams but nothing serious. I was probably more bookish, though I was an underachiever for many years.
PGN: How did you get involved in the league? JS: I had some friends in the league and I was just coming out, so I thought it would be a good way to meet people. I liked the fact that it was something social that was different than going to a bar. I’ve been playing for nine years. I play first base.
PGN: A highlight of your baseball career? JS: Last year in Seattle, we played 13 games in five days and finished second in the country in our division at the NAGAAA [North American Gay Amateur Athletic Association] World Series. We’re hoping to do even better at the World Series in Milwaukee this year. It’s amazing: We went from running a softball league with 24 teams to now having a budget of over $100,000, 32 teams and hosting a tournament with teams from all over coming to town. We have 30 regional sponsors, five national sponsors and are really taking it to another level.
PGN: So you came out rather late? JS: I did. When I came to Philadelphia, I didn’t know anyone that was gay and I slowly built a base of friends. I wanted a support structure in case things didn’t go well with my old friends when I came out. It was a fear of what might happen instead of what was reality. When I came out to my friends, not a single one of them had a problem with it. They had been more concerned because I’d been so stressed out building up to telling them that they thought that I was sick or something. The next year I came out to my family and the next year to people at the law firm.
PGN: When did you come out to yourself? JS: Looking back, I think you always knew, but it was a question of realizing, “Oh, that’s what it was.” I wasn’t, I guess, “stereotypical.” As a camp counselor, I was always the first one out there cutting down trees; I did play pick-up sports here and there. None of my friends had any idea except my friend John, who later pointed out that when we were at a gym, if an attractive woman walked by, I would be the only guy not looking. I was oblivious to it, so it was funny that he remembered it.
PGN: How many siblings do you have? JS: I have two brothers and a sister. She is a Wall Street headhunter, although I guess people don’t like that term these days.
PGN: How did your family handle your coming out? JS: My sister-in-law is from Australia and she laughed hysterically and said, “I knew it! I told them all before, I knew it!” My brother was cool and wanted to tell our parents for me, but I wanted to do it myself. A lot of people can’t fathom the way I told my parents, but it actually worked for us. I sent them an e-mail and then left town for a conference. They actually appreciated the way it was done because it was non-confrontational and gave them time to process it themselves before dealing with me. I’m sure my mother shed a few tears, but when we did talk they were fine with it.
PGN: What did you learn being a camp counselor? JS: I started out as a counselor at a YMCA day camp and worked my way up to being the assistant director. We had a very, very diverse environment. There were kids with special-ed needs who were being mainstreamed, we had campers from ages 5-15 and a staff of 30 for about 300 kids each day. Looking back, I definitely wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility, being basically a kid myself and telling special-ed teachers in their 40s what to do.
PGN: So what was the biggest challenge in opening the restaurant? JS: The City of Philadelphia. They were an interesting — I don’t want to say obstacle because there were some people who were extremely helpful — but it’s hard to fathom how often the initial reaction to anything was, “It’s not our problem, it’s yours.”
PGN: What’s the best thing about being a bar owner? JS: Aside from never having to pay for a drink again while I’m here, I enjoy the opportunity to build something. At my day job, it’s more about tearing things apart, ripping things open to get to the truth and expose hidden agendas, whereas this allows me to work with people in a whole different way.
PGN: How do you deal with drunken frat boys? JS: One of the first things we did was go to Drexel and ask them about their policies, which they appreciated. Drexel actually has a pretty liberal alcohol policy: You can drink on campus if you’re over 21. They told us, if anything happens, we want to know about it. They then deal with the student. We’ve had a lot of events with fraternities and other student groups and they are usually very respectful and police each other if someone is starting to get out of control.
PGN: Favorite toy as a kid? JS: I got an Atari 2600 for my bar mitzvah and that was it.
PGN: What hobbies do you have? JS: I love to read. Whether I’m at the gym or at home, I love to read as much as I can. I like reading mysteries, but I’ll read biographies on the side. I have season tickets to the Broadway series at the Academy of Music. It’s great; it lets you see shows without having to run up to New York. Of course, the softball league is a central focus.
PGN: What’s your involvement with the city tourism board? JS: I’m a board member of the Philadelphia Gay Tourism Caucus and I chair the sports committee. I help LGBT sports teams bring their events to town. I help them find sponsor money and help them become better and more economically viable teams.
PGN: I know that you are single, but any four-legged companions? JS: I have a greyhound named Quincy.
PGN: Why Quincy? JS: I got him with my ex, who was a funeral director. We went with the medical-examiner theme, naming him after Jack Klugman’s character.
PGN: What has the softball involvement done for you? JS: There was a time when I would go to work, go home, go to work, go home. But getting involved in the softball league really broadened my horizons. Being able to contribute hands-on to the community, instead of just writing a check, was so much more fulfilling.
Mikey’s American Grill & Sports Bar 3180 Chestnut St. (215) 222-3226 Open daily
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