Out gay writer/director Andrew Ahn’s crowd-pleasing remake of “The Wedding Banquet,” out April 18 in area theaters, is a nifty update of Ang Lee’s classic 1993 film. The new version makes some significant changes to the original. Here, Min (Han Gi-Chan) is in a five-year relationship with Chris (Bowen Yang) when his grandmother, Ja-Young (Oscar winner Youn Yuh-jung), demands that he return to Korea to take a job in the family business or lose his wealth.
Hoping a green card marriage will keep him in the U.S., the closeted Min plans to marry Angela (Kelly Marie Tran), a lesbian who is trying to have a child with her girlfriend Lee (Lily Gladstone). Angela accepts the deal, because Min’s money can pay for the IVF treatments. Of course, complications ensue when Ja-Young arrives, wanting to plan a wedding banquet.
Ahn’s warm, winning comedy is amusing as the characters’ lies reveal deeper, heartfelt truths about love and family. The filmmaker spoke with PGN about re-making “The Wedding Banquet.”
What inspired you to make this film, and what decisions did you make in updating it?
I saw the Ang Lee film when I was 8 years old, and it’s the first gay film I ever saw. It really put me on the right path as a filmmaker. I find the film so incredibly inspiring on a personal level. In many ways, it was very easy to be inspired on a creative level, and how the same values and storytelling philosophy of the Ang Lee film could be applied to the current queer community and the questions that we are asking ourselves about marriage and having children. In the original film they have this accidental baby. What if we have these characters in this film who want to have a baby? How do they go about doing that, and how do they overcome the very natural hesitations that soon-to-be-parents might feel? I think things have changed for the queer community around these conversations about building family. That was fertile ground for me to make the film.
Like your debut, “Spa Night,” “The Wedding Banquet” deals with the generation gap between queer children and the folks who raised them. What observations do you have about the generation gap and queer children in Asian families? You don’t vilify the parents here, which I think is important.
I think what makes relationships with parents complicated is that they are often not villains. It’s actually harder when you know that they love you. If you knew that they hated you, it would be kind of easy just to cut them off. It’s that kind of underlying love that makes the drama more interesting. I really wanted to think about what’s changed since 1993. I think that there is a lot of expectation that an Asian mother might be very disapproving of her gay daughter. I know a lot of parents that are incredibly excited, that their children are gay — almost too much, and it kind of becomes about them and this performative allyship. There is a potential villain in our story in Min’s grandfather in Korea. But I didn’t want homophobia to be at the center of the movie. It is not the main conflict — and that was a very intentional choice. I really wanted to talk about these matriarchal figures in this film.
The film shows the Pyebaek ceremony (a traditional Korean wedding ceremony) but pokes fun at the fact that several folks don’t recall the meaning of the jujubes and chestnuts. There is also Ja-Young’s concern about reputation and how Min’s marriage will reflect on the family. What are your thoughts about tradition?
I attended my brother’s very traditional Korean wedding a decade ago. I saw him participate in these rituals and how it brought him closer to our parents, his wife, and his Korean identity. I wondered, because the tradition is so heteronormative, whether I could participate in that as a gay man. In a gay wedding, who would piggyback who? And what colors do you wear? I wanted to make the film to throw myself my own Korean wedding and show that there is room to queer it. These rituals that we think have such important meaning in the modern day, well, a lot of people don’t know their meaning. So, let’s have fun and make it more inclusive. The joke of not knowing if the jujubes or chestnuts are the sons or the daughter was important for me to show. My parents were on set that day and even my dad didn’t know. He guessed and we googled it, and he was wrong. Tradition has been an important topic in my films. I’m extremely respectful of ritual and tradition but I am also trying to take some of the power away from it because that allows us to find a way to make it more inclusive.
I especially loved Ja-Young’s speech to Min when she talks with him about love. How do you think this story about love and money will resonate with today’s viewers?
I think for so many families where immigration is a part of their story and history, money is so important. It is tied to success, and sustainability, and thriving. It is a priority for these generations, and because Min is so set up [financially] his priorities can be different. His priorities around family and love and partnership — and the fact that his grandmother can understand what he values — is a real bridging of the gap. Generations are so interconnected. How we grow our family is so tied to how our family was created before us. The world has changed so much that you have to be so nimble. When you are coming from a very traditional culture, it can be really difficult to think about how things change or adjust. I find that moment so key to the film; it gives a sense of hope and models how you can really understand your children or grandchildren unselfishly.
Chris has concerns about his relationship with Min, but he is supportive of Angela as well as his cousin, Kendall (Bobo Le). Can you talk about his character, who is pivotal in the film?
I remember thinking in the beginning of the adaptation process about how gay people can get married now — so why wouldn’t you. That burden of choice: now that we can, should we? Is that a good idea? Will we ruin what we have? It is relatable to me. I wanted to show that yes, progress has been made, but it is still difficult for us to accept love. That is a very human instinct that you don’t feel like you deserve it. I wanted to explore that theme and how Chris is distracting himself with so many other things in order to not deal with himself.
Likewise, Lily Gladstone is terrific as Lee, who wants to have a child but has to deal not only with the drama of IVF treatments, but also a partner, Angela, who is anxious about motherhood. What can you say about introducing this storyline into the film?
I wanted to explore what if a gay couple wants to have a baby? They made that choice. It creates expectation and creates hope and that can be very unsettling and scary. Another element of Lee’s character is that she is Duwamish, and her family is from Seattle. That connection to the land brought in this theme of stewardship and how to continue a legacy of your family, your community, and your people. Lily told me that in Blackfeet culture, queer people are the caretakers of children, and that made me tear up.
“The Wedding Banquet” is super gay. But there is a de-gaying scene — though my partner and I call it “straightening up.” Can you talk about the queer content in your film and determining how much was enough?
[Laughs.] I never heard that phrase! I wanted the film to feel authentic to my life. I used so much of my experience of my cast and crew to find the right joy, balance, texture. Our production designer was queer, and I wanted the house to feel lived in and that queer people live there. I wanted to have fun with it and celebrate the nuances of queer life.
The culture right now is trending away from diversity. Do you find as a gay Asian filmmaker that you are struggling to get to tell gay Asian stories?
It’s incredibly difficult. I really believe in the talent of the communities that I am a part of. I am committed to writing and telling these stories. I am so interested in chronicling the lives of queer and Asian people. I understand that I’m in a privileged position that so few filmmakers are in to be able to do that within this industry and art form. I take that responsibility very seriously, and with a lot of passion and excitement.