As any regular reader knows, I love this city. I’ve lived here long enough to remember when we were a punchline to a W.C. Fields joke and am pleased to have seen the City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection grow from a place where your biggest culinary decisions were Pat’s or Geno’s to a highly regarded hub for top chefs and restaurants. We are a thriving metropolis that has been host to both the RNC and the DNC as well as countless festivals and major events. This month we put another feather in our bonnet (sorry, I’ve been watching the “Downton Abbey” marathon) as we host the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force’s Creating Change Conference. This marks the 27th year for the event, which is considered the premier political, leadership and skills-building conference for the LGBT social-justice movement. With an expected attendance of thousands, the event promises daylong institutes, trainings in the Leadership Academy, workshops for faith leaders and organizers and much more. All in all, there will be approximately 250 workshops and caucus sessions; four keynote plenary sessions; worship gatherings; film screenings; meetings; receptions and social events; and a multitude of opportunities for attendees to meet with and learn from each other.
Considering the current political climate, the conference is a chance for us to prepare and care for each other at this critical time. Several of our hometown heroes will be given special honors, including this paper, which is receiving the inaugural media award; the John C. Anderson Apartments, which is being recognized for excellence in Leadership on Aging, and this week’s portrait, Hazel Edwards, who will receive the Youth Leadership Award. If there’s room on the mantle, she can add it to her previous awards, such as the Girls Rock Philly 2016 PhillyRising Award, the Youth Rising Star Award at Philadelphia Trans March 2015 and Youth Grand Marshal at the 2014 Philadelphia Pride Parade.
PGN: You have quite a history for someone so young. Tell me a little about yourself.
HE: I’m from West Philadelphia, born and raised … [Laughs] I grew up with my mom and my half-brother and sister; they’re eight and nine years older than me. My dad was incarcerated when I was 9 and he’s still in prison right now.
PGN: Tell me about mom.
HE: She’s a dietary manager at a nursing home. She’s originally from Michigan, where she met my dad. He’s from Philly but he worked for her there and they fell in love and she moved to Philly with him. When he got in trouble, he was sentenced to 12-40 years so hopefully he’ll be eligible to get out on his minimal when I’m 21.
PGN: That’s good. What’s a happy family memory?
HE: I’m biracial and grew up with my mom’s side of the family, which is white. I recently started connecting with my father’s family and it’s been great to learn about my culture and heritage from that side. It’s enabled me to start having conversations with people about race and culture and other things like that. It’s nice to know who I am and where I came from.
PGN: Tell me about the prom/graduation situation that initially brought you to The Attic Youth Center.
HE: Well, my attendance at high school had been down and four months before graduation, I was having a conversation with my principal about it. I realized that if I was going to tell him why I’d been avoiding school I’d have to tell him that I was trans and was not comfortable at school as a result. I also told him that I wanted to wear a dress at prom and graduation. The administrators were very kind people but the school was Boys Latin of Philadelphia Charter and the reaction was, “This is a boys’ school; you can’t wear painted nails here or come in with your hair done or wearing makeup.” I’d been wearing makeup and coming in with my nails done since the 10th grade and no one ever bothered me about it until I came out. Fortunately, I’d read the school rule book and knew it like the back of my hand so I knew what my rights were. If it was past my shoulders, I was allowed to wear my hair in a ponytail, and there was nothing in the books banning makeup or nail polish. Their response was that this was a school for boys, and it seemed like they started making up new rules on the spot. When the guidance counselor insisted on telling me that I was a boy, I packed up my stuff and left in the middle of the conversation. I never went back.
PGN: Wow.
HE: Yes, then I saw an ad for a social-justice internship at The Attic. I applied and got it and during the course of the internship I saw that my former school had requested a sensitivity training! So I went with my boss and it went really well. My principal cried at the end and came up to me and said, “The student is now the teacher … ” It was really great. I was pleased to know that when the next trans person comes out to them, they’ll be better prepared to deal with it. They now have the tools that I wished they’d had when I was there.
PGN: How did you find The Attic?
HE: When I was 14, I was dating a boy at my school. We were both into theater and he used to go to The Attic after rehearsals. He told me that The Attic was great and that I should go with him sometime. One day I did and the first thing I encountered was a dance group practicing. I joined in and it was the best time of my life. It gave me a chance to express how I felt and The Attic allowed me to wear dresses and makeup in a safe space.
PGN: Were you able to get support from your family as well?
HE: I went to a Catholic school from pre-kindergarten to eighth grade and then went into an all-boys’ school. I came out to my mother that I liked boys when I went into high school but I didn’t say anything about being trans. She thought I identified as a male who liked males, but I never actually identified as a boy. But as a result, I was labeled as gay until I came out as trans at about 17. The first person I told was my pediatrician. I told her I didn’t know what to do but that I wanted to get hormones. She had no clue about the subject — I was her first trans patient — so she scheduled me to come back in a week and when I came in she had done her research and had all of these pamphlets on places like the Mazzoni Center and even had looked up places for my mom to get support. It was really nice of her and I felt validated. [Laughs] I came out to my mom in a painting. It was an image of a male silhouette looking into a mirror and there was a woman looking back at him. She looked at it and said, “Nice textures,” so she didn’t exactly get the hint. So I sent her a letter when she was at work. I sent it to work because I wanted her to have time to internalize and process every word that was on the page and not react emotionally. I figured if she was at work she’d have to keep calm and not freak out right away. We didn’t talk for a week until I finally asked if she’d read the letter. We talked about it and she truly didn’t accept or understand it, though I knew that she still loved me. I hadn’t been expecting a “Woo hoo, I’m so proud,” but it was rough for a while. She’s slowly coming around now.
PGN: That’s good.
HE: Yes, I was basically pushed out of both my school and home and didn’t have the best living situations. I was unstably housed and went from couch surfing to spending time in a shelter while continuing to fight for social injustice at The Attic. That work gave me enough money to find housing and support myself.
PGN: What are some of the concerns and misconceptions you encounter when talking to school administrators?
HE: I’d say the biggest misconception about trans women, especially those of color, is that we’re unable to support ourselves and the only source of income is sex work. It can be true to some extent due to discrimination in the workforce and housing, the police, etc., but that’s not the story for all of us. Another misconception is that what’s on our birth certificates is the only way to define our gender identity, or that people of non-binary genders don’t exist but they do. I could go on … As far as concerns, of course the bathroom issue is a big one but it’s not the only issue that we’re trying to win justice and equality for. Privacy is a big issue. If I go for a job, I don’t need to explain to you what surgeries I’ve had or not had, I don’t need to explain my journey as a trans person to you. Gender is very complex. Not all trans people are uncomfortable with their bodies or their names. There are many people who don’t want to go through a physical transition and many who do. It’s very personal.
PGN: As horrific as the so-called bathroom bill in North Carolina is/was, I found optimism in the backlash they faced. The fact that sports teams and politicians and corporate entities and whole cities like Philadelphia opted to boycott the state was pretty remarkable. My only fear now is that it gets momentum to spread to other states. What are your thoughts?
HE: I share your optimism. In September, I took a trip to North Carolina and went into several bathrooms and put up stickers that said “A trans person was here.” I think people realized that HB2 had the potential to effect many segments of our community in many awful ways. Of course, I fear that other states will jump on the bandwagon but it’s not enough to stop me from fighting for what I believe in.
PGN: Excellent. So, to lighter fare, any hobbies?
HE: I love practicing self-care and I do that through yoga and meditation. I do yoga at morning and at night and it keeps me calm and centered. My current work is a form of self-care for me; not only am I advocating for my community, I’m gaining rights for myself, which I consider self-care: making trans issues something that are talked about in a positive manner. I also love art and drawing and all of the performance arts. I took playwriting in school and did public speaking. I was in forensic speech tournaments, but when I got to high school they didn’t have it so I switched to mock trial, but it wasn’t as much fun so I took theater, which I came to love.
PGN: Ever play any instruments?
HE: When I was younger I played the piano. Most people don’t know that about me! I also do drag and I’ll be competing in the Miss Everything contest at Tabu this month.
PGN: What actor would you want to do a love scene with?
HE: [Laughs] OK then! Michael Ealy, he’s such a beautifully sculpted man!
PGN: Single or in a relationship?
HE: I’ve been seeing someone for about eight months. He’s cool.
PGN: My friends are embarrassed when I …
HE: I do this thing when I’m walking down the street with my friends and I’ll suddenly talk in a really deep voice. [Laughs] I don’t know about them but I think it’s hilarious. Usually I only do it with friends but I had an incident where this guy was hitting on me while I was trying to walk down the street and he just was not getting the hint that I wasn’t interested, so I finally just said something to him with my bass voice and the look on his face was hysterical!
PGN: What’s the most hostile situation you’ve faced and the most surprisingly supportive situation?
HE: So my mom and I have had a rocky relationship since I was 15, and after I came out to her, the response wasn’t the best. Even before telling her I was trans, she used to chastise me for wearing my nails painted but in recent years she has been making a real effort, calling me Hazel and using female pronouns. She’s just now starting to advocate for my gender identity in other spaces of her life, like at her job and with relatives. That’s been pleasantly surprising. And my dad, I came out to him as trans and at first he was like, “Oh my God! This must be the punishment for all the bad that I’ve done to people” and he really beat himself up. I’m also his only “son” and I’m named after him — I’m the third — so he took it hard. There was a lot of heartbreak but a few months after that, he started calling me Hazel and “she” and “her” and referred to me as his daughter. When I saw him for the first time as Hazel when he was in jail, the first thing he said was, “You’re gorgeous.” That was special. The most horrific situation was when I was on the bus one night and these two guys were talking about me and saying how cute I was to each other. Then they started making sexual references and objectifying references towards me. At one point I raised my phone and they noticed the “Trans Lives Matter” sticker I had on the back and turned hostile. They started cursing about how we were out there fooling and tricking men and when I got off the bus they exited too and started following me. Luckily I got out of the situation safely but it was traumatic.
PGN: Family heirloom?
HE: I have a blanket and her name is Beauty. I’ve had her since I was born and she’s all torn and tattered now but I still sleep with her every night. There are too many rips and tears to cover myself with her but I ball her up and cuddle with her. She’s my safety net. It took me a long time to introduce my partner to Beauty because she means so much to me.
PGN: Who’s a role model for you?
EH: Of course Laverne Cox, but I also see a lot of myself in Janet Mock. She’s an activist with a beautiful story. I read her memoir and she is a powerful, biracial, beautiful woman of color.
PGN: What kind of candy would you be?
HE: A “Whatchamacallit” candy bar. [Laughs] You don’t know what to call it but it’s really good: a unique combination of things!
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